Welcome back to the Real World Cancun! I am delighted to report that the public herpes outbreak in Cancun is no longer a threat! Read on for details...
Bad hair, however, is still a menace.
We return to Cancun for Peak Week. Peak Week is when 70% of American universities are on vacation, says Brawny, and they sure do like to say Peak Week a lot. Our first glimpse of it is at a bar that clearly offers a taste of the local culture and not just a centralized place where Student City can corral their charges and supervise their drunken antics - Daddy O's! Muy Mexicano, no? Joey and Jasmine are dealing with difficult passengers - my favorite, actually, the righteously indignant "I paid a lot of money for this ____!" To my surprise, Joey actually diffuses this asshole very smoothly.
Student City has no age limits, apparently.
Meanwhile, Brawny and Piglet CJ are reduced to crossing guard duty. They make sure the drunktards don't run across the street in the middle of traffic. Pretty lame duty if you ask me, but they're rewarded with the hilarity of a fat, peroxided blonde chick who trips on the dash across the road and falls on her ass.
Job perk.
Back at the house, Joey's on the phone with his Mommy for a change. He's giving her the update on how he gets another chance in the house, but how he just doesn't know if he can follow the rules. He's so special. Rules were invented for Joey to break them. His Mom sounds so cool though, I don't understand how she raised him and he turned out like this. Maybe she had a drug problem and just recently kicked it? I just don't know.
And then, Scrawny Canadian DJ Pat is at the door and Jasmine's all aflutter. And here's something else I don't understand, what the hell does she see in this loser? This is a perplexing episode. Anyway, Jas lets us in on her plan to seduce Scrawny Pat. Ugh, really? She drags him out to the balcony to tease him about the "surprise" she's got for him. He's all fake mad that she won't tell him. What kind of alternate universe is Cancun where Scrawny Pat is cool and unattainable? It's truly unnerving.
How has he not been pushed into a locker yet?
"Are you going to be at Pat O'Brien's?" Jas asks Scrawny Pat. Pat O'Brien's? Okay, I get that we just want them drunk and don't care how they get there but could some corporate franchise just try and get onboard with the fact that THEY'RE IN FREAKIN' MEXICO? Anyway, of course Scrawny Pat will be there, he eye rolls, he's celebrity DJ'ing there tonight. Well, excuuuuuse us, Scrawny Pat Ronson AM.
It would be amazing if they actually ended up at Pat O'Brien's.
That night, during the Student City authentic Mexicano experience, Brawny is making out with a blonde girl who we are reminded about a hundred times is a Playboy model. Hold the phone. I'd like the see the issue. This girl's not that hot. Anyway, it will surprise no one to learn that this is the proudest moment in average Brawny's life. She kisses him dramatically, for the camera. It's not sexy. It just looks stupid.
Meanwhile, Jasmine is passing Scrawny Pat a note - that's right, a note - telling him that she wants his hot bod. Gag. And Joey has found some new ho to take home for the evening. This one's either very drunk, or mentally retarded. She doesn't talk. Also, she's wearing pleather. And Brawny takes his alleged Playboy model home too. Which leaves us with Jasmine and Scrawny Pat. They're walking home and Pat's telling her smoking is nasty and she better not want to kiss him. Jasmine prances along, completely undeterred, and tells him she'll just brush her teeth then. He's saying he doesn't want to kiss you, Jas. I'm sorry to have to put it like that, but come on.
« Top Chef Masters: We Are The Champions (Well... At Least Five Out Of Six Of Us Are) | Main | Tool Academy 2: Meet the cast and sneak peek »
Comments (15)
Great recap, as always!
The only thing more annoying than Jasmine's desperation was the way Christina said "breakfast shift".
1 of 15 | Posted by judyjudy | Posted on August 11, 2009 8:53 AM
I liked Joey at first, but what a poster child for his generation. Lazy, self-entitled and worthless. What a jackass.
BTW I think you can be a "Playboy model" without being a Playmate, i.e., in the magazine. I think they must have a j.v. team who make public appearances or who dry hump on the Playboy Channel. No other explanation for those girls being with Playboy, since they were so completely average looking with the exception of their saline bags.
2 of 15 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on August 11, 2009 9:10 AM
Playboy also has web models, mostly amateurs who send in their photos. Since they barely get paid (if at all), the standards for attractiveness are much lower. I'm guessing that's they're deal, or else they've been on the Playboy channel or a local event. Neither of those girls were anywhere near Playmate material.
Did anyone see the latest season of the Bad Girls Club? There was a girl who claimed to be a Playboy web model there, and she was really chunky and unattractive.
3 of 15 | Posted by spinal11 | Posted on August 11, 2009 10:10 AM
Some life joey has back home....didn't only his mom ever call?? LOL!
4 of 15 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 11, 2009 11:46 AM
Chickbomb!
LOVED this, I am so glad that Joey finally learned something on "The Real World", mainly, call out sick one too many times and there might be consequences. I love how he was so defiant with them and they finally put the smackdown on him! Yesssss! If any of the rest of us working adults tried that "How was I supposed to awaken myself?" bullshit with our employers we'd all be smacked down as well! And I expected nothing less than for him to try and play it off like he really WANTED to go home. What a dickbag.
love to you,
J-Mo :)
5 of 15 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 11, 2009 12:46 PM
Great Recap! So funny!
This episode had me cringing for Jasmine. He doesn't want her. He made it so clear. I had my hands on my eyes in embarrassment for her.
What is the deal with Rihanna? I just don't get it. I think the other girls in the house are just as attractive if not more so. What is the appeal? I feel like I'm really dense because I don't see it.
The “playboy” models really??? If I were Hef I would call MTV and tell them to stop ruining his good name.
Oh Joey, only in your world would you think staying up until 4:30 am when you had to be at work at 8:00 and missing the alarm isn't your fault. Shame for him.
6 of 15 | Posted by Baxter | Posted on August 11, 2009 1:20 PM
I agreed with every single point of this recap and really have nothing to add, except the fact that someone at MTV dropped the ball by playing previews for the aftershow with Mark saying, "See Joey reunite with the roommates for the first time after leaving the Real World house" before the episode had even played out. I normally don't mind spoilers, but I was so looking forward to the anticipation of the poster child for douchebags possibly going home that I was actually kind of pissed. We're in a recession here. Actual qualified people can't even get jobs - so why are there idiots working at MTV?
7 of 15 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on August 11, 2009 1:56 PM
andreak1013
i totally agree.... I was like 'what genius aired that clip midway through the show"?? I already knew he was goin... but still, if i hadn't i would have been Pissed!
ooh rihanna. it what alternate universe is it ok to hook up/flirt with every other guy except your boyfriend, and then tell him he has nothing to worry about?
it was nice to see ayyiiiiia in the ep for all of 5 seconds...although her getting her way blew buckets.
and wow, Jazmine. wow wowowowowow. That was probably the hardest thing to watch in a long time. "I like the chase?" Reaalllly? Or is that Denial speaking?
good grief.
8 of 15 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on August 11, 2009 2:29 PM
Jasmine was really pathetic, but let's also be real: Pat is leading her on because she is making it WAY WAY too easy to get into her pants.
I keep wondering why Pat keeps putting her off with the whole "we don't know each other well enough yet." I thought several things throughout the episode: he's gay, he's not into black girls but doesn't want to look bad on MTV for being honest about his preferences, or he's really not physically attracted to her. Either way, with the signals even Ray Charles could see, Pat should just be honest with her.
And, for Rihanna to give Pat a haircut when she knew how Jasmine felt is bullshit, also. She knows that Jasmine is sensitive with regards to Pat and for her to flaunt him as if it's no big deal is an asshole thing to do.
Joey got what he deserved and, as J-Mo pointed out, he was going to spin it as if he wanted to go. But you knew that was BS when he had to say "good-bye" to everyone on their way to work. Irony much?
Also, are they getting a new roommate?
9 of 15 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on August 11, 2009 5:30 PM
It might just be me, but I thought the way Rihanna was acting with Pat was almost like he was her gay guy friend.
Where in the world does Jasmine's ego come from? She is about 4 feet tall and weights about 70 pounds, which means she sort of looks like a tiny 12 year old boy. I think it would be great if Pat came out and started hooking up with Derek. You can tell Pat is only trying to get more tv time.
10 of 15 | Posted by carol | Posted on August 11, 2009 10:18 PM
YES!!! YAY!!! Finally Herpes is gone wow it took long enough. I was on mtv.com to watch the Aftershow and was reading the comments where mostly little pre-teen girls were proudly stating that they were crying when Joey left and that they were never watching the show EVER again. Pathetic. What kind of world is this where THAT is attractive? That loser isn't remotely cute and he can't even hold a job!!!
As for Jonna, I have lost all of my respect for her. In the Aftershow she told Jasmine that "it wasn't HER job" to not make Jasmine look stupid. Excuse me?? Oh, I'm sorry. It's YOUR job to whore around on television with half of the guys in Cancun whilst having a boyfriend back home. I mean, this bitch is trying to put Jenn and Trishelle to shame and you know how big of an accomplishment THAT is. Stop Jonna, you've disgraced your adoptive family and everyone that is close to you enough. Jasmine also needs to wake the hell up. I think being blocked by a pillow when trying to get intimate is a big enough sign to confirm that "she isn't getting any" that night.
Whew, wow those people make ME feel normal..
11 of 15 | Posted by Jestonster | Posted on August 11, 2009 11:12 PM
I was lmao when Jasmine just couldn't get the hint, but at the same time I was so embarassed for her. I think we've all been there but maybe not that extreme and not on TV. Glad Joey's gone but it sucks that it make Ayiiia happy. Double edged sword lol
12 of 15 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on August 12, 2009 12:29 AM
as much as Jonna is being a complete whore on tv.... her adoptive family is the one that has disgraced her. TRUST me on that aspect... i know of her through other people. that girl has had it ROUGH especially when your adoptive parents adopt you to make money off you then steal your social security numbers and take out loans in your name causing you to not be able to get school loans.
you won't see it all on the show, but it's unfortunate that the way she is acting on the show overcasts everything she has been through. i don't envy her life at all.
13 of 15 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on August 12, 2009 10:18 AM
I love how Jonna tried to say on the after-show that she wasn't more attractive than Jasmine with a straight face.
Please, she clearly thinks she's hot shit.
She is definitely one of those shady girls that goes behind her friends' backs to flirt with guys but never actually crosses the line, just tip-toes around it.
14 of 15 | Posted by User Name | Posted on August 12, 2009 5:11 PM
joey was the most entertaining person on the show hands down... sucks he left.
15 of 15 | Posted by jay22 | Posted on August 12, 2009 11:18 PM