Flippy is really, really mad at how late this recap is. He kind of ripped me a new one. And it's his birthday, at least I think that's what I got of his pissed off email. SORRY. If he doesn't edit this part out, I might be forgiven. And now, for Cancun.

We start off with Brawny, who as it becomes painfully clear, has far too much time on his hands. He's spending his quality time in Cancun rigging a booby trap over the front door for his roommates. It's a box filled with Styrofoam popcorn that's supposed to fall on your head when you step on its fancy scotch tape rigged trigger. Rihanna is his accomplice. He tells her the popcorn is shrapnel, the box is a land mine and he's an assassin. This would be stupid under any circumstance, but it's even worse considering while Brawny's up in his cushy hotel room playing GI Joe, his Real World predecessor Ryan is off being an actual soldier in Iraq. Brawny's so good natured and harmless that it borders on mentally retarded.

Should have used something flammable.

And big surprise, Jasmine walks in the house takes one glance down and steps right over it. Brawny can't believe his scotch tape styro popcorn booby trap was a failure. "How did you know?" he wonders. She just looked down and something wasn't right. Well, we all know I think pranks are boring, so let's get to some more exciting stuff! But before that, let's listen in on another interminable phone conversation with Rihanna and Boyfriend. "What are you doing?" she asks him. Sitting there thinking about her, is my guess. "Doing nothing but sitting here and thinking about you," he coos. I can't even brag about being right about it though, seems like that's all he ever does.

And Rihanna's getting tired of it. So, in a shocking turn of events, it looks like Rihanna and Boyfriend, who she loves so much forever and ever and even pierced herself like Jesus to prove it....are coming to the end of the road. They're not growing together, she explains, which is code for I desperately want to have sex with the scrawny, loser DJ to prove to my already insecure roommate that skanky weave always gets her man. Oh, on this note, my friend saw Muppet Daisy at Equinox this morning, and reports that guys were hitting up to her the whole time. It brought up another conversation about why men like skank, and we have confirmed that it's because skank is easy.

Can I buy you a smoothie?

Back to Rihanna - she also tells us she can't give Boyfriend what he wants, but considering what he wants is for her to sit around all day on the phone with him, watching all the Spring Break fun from her balcony and wishing she was back home getting ready for the 5 pm shift - I can't really fault her there.

That night, they're out at Dady O's. Now that I know I'm on probation for spelling, I'm trying to spell everything right. I mean, wrong, which is right. Dady O's sounds like a breakfast cereal. A Mexican one, of course. So they're there, and Rihanna's all over Scrawny Pat, making eyes and pointing at him. Jassy tells us she's jealous of the connection they have, but that's no revelation.

And back at the house, it's time for the fire extinguisher incident! We've been seeing it in previews for months now, but there's really not much of a back story here. You think I'd know better by know, that the previews are big teases, but looks like I'm foiled again. He "finds" it somewhere, probably secure in its latched case, but that part is conveniently glossed over. Then he sprays it over the ocean from the balcony. Then, when he's done wasting fire fighting foam (and how bad is Brawny gonna feel if the ME really does catch on fire one of these days) he chucks the thing over the balcony where it lands in the pool. Then he hauls ass into the house.

Should have just stuck to peeing over the balcony. Way more earth friendly.

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Posted in Real World by ChickBomb at 3:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: slutty_whore on Aug 29, 2009 08:14 AM.