Real World Hollywood: Making It Up As You Go Along

Hello gorgeous dolls, and welcome back to the Real World Hollywood! This week, no one has sex, no one has a fight, Prety insults a Hollywood has been, and things get really deep for Meathead. I'm on a plane back to LA right now, so pretend I packed you in my suitcase, and come along for the ride!

Picture 15-2
Just be yourselves. It will be hilarious.

We open with a night out drinking, which is a great way to start a Real World episode, cause it can only lead to sex or a fight. And well, well, well would it surprise anyone to know that Blondie is a complete and total hypocrite? For all her trash talking about the Stripper and the pole, she's doing a mighty fine little stripper dance herself, grinding up against Meathead.

And Dolt doesn't like it. She's his "cuddle buddy" he informs both us, and some guy he's talking to in the bar. "She's a freak," the guy in the bar comments to Dolt. Ha ha! Judge not lest we be judged, Blondie! At least while your doing it on television for everyone to see.

After Blondie's done whoring it up in the bar, Dolt carries her home on a piggyback ride, cause he's chivalrous like that. They get back to the house, and he starts making out with her, but she's not looking too into it. Awww, playing like a real hooker now, doll. Cause sure enough, they tumble into bed together, and Dolt asks her, "Honeybuns, what did you want?" and I take a break from recapping to clean the vomit off my screen.

"I'm not a whore, I just like sex," Blondie giggles gleefully. Let's do a quick rewind to last week, when she and Goody were in such firm agreement that the difference between them and the Stripper was that they respected themselves. Judge away, girls.

Picture 3-37
Respect, of course!

The next morning, Blondie is on the phone with her friend Kelly, and Dolt jumps in to tell the friend how hot Blondie is in her sleepmask. Then they assure each other that she doesn't want to do the boyfriend thing, he doesn't want to do the girlfriend thing, and she won't be expecting anything from him. Which means it should only be a day or so before he hooks up with someone else and she starts passive aggressively ignoring him and they end up hating each other.

That night, they head out to the club, the Stripper dressed in another one of her "I just do it for the money!" ensembles of thigh high stockings, boots and shorts that barely cover her ass. Actually, it's a slight improvement, shorts that barely cover her ass are better than skirts that barely cover her ass, at least we know her situations covered. Anyway, Meathead's on the wagon, and they're all trying to push him off. Dolt in particular, terrified of losing his drinking buddy, cause people like Dolt and Blondie and Goody can never do anything on their own, tries to talk him into it. "C'mon man, it's free champagne!" he pleads.

And then we get the truth - Meathead "used to be an alcoholic". Listen, I know enough people in AA to know there is no "used to be" in that disease. If you were, you are and you will be, so that's why you stay away. He informs the Stripper, who looks at him blankly, but nods. And then he informs Dolt. He explains it very firmly, and makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to drink, and what does that paragon of friendship Dolt do? "Well, just sip it then, take it easy," he tells Meat. And next thing you know, there's Meat with a glass of champers.

Picture 4-28
Joining the Real World cast was the best decision of your life. Let's drink to it!

Meathead tells us that back at home, he's cut out the people who were bad influences, but he feels like with the roommates, he's falling back into it. Dolt tells him, "If you want to have a good time, you could have some drinks. We'll keep an eye on you." Well Dolt, has it ever occurred to you that there are people out there who aren't devoid of a personality and a brain, who can actually enjoy themselves without getting silly drunk? I'm guessing not.

Meathead explains that when he's under the influence, the "monster" comes out. Dolt being the great guy he is, tries to force a shot down his throat. And sure enough, a moment later, there's Meathead buying a drink. Good work, Dolt.

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Comments (21)

shia0bundan:

Fastest recap ever... Props CB.

I kind of like Prety, simply because he aggravates Blondie and Goody so much.

I want to like Stripper (dammit CB I can't even remember their real names anymore! lol) but her outfits are just HIDEOUS. What the hell was she WEARING that night she brought home creepy skeevy kind of old boy?

MrsBojangles:

For the first time in ages, I feel like they actually tried to get different types of people onto the Real World. The past few season all the people were the same. (College-aged, party-animal sluts). The diversity in characters and the situations that ensued was what made Real World interesting in the first place. Hopefully they keep it up. I just don't understand why they decided to do these hour-long movies rather than the seemingly never-ending 30 min. shows of seasons past.

yankeesfan:

i think stripper's worst outfit has to be when she got home with cheesy and went to "change into shorts"..im sorry, shorts dont normally look like underwear...

my roommate thought the same thing when joey was having his meltdown - is he acting?

hollabackboy:

Really fast recap, ChickBomb.
But thanks to you, I can barely remember the real names of everyone when I'm watching.

But, I'm still annoyed with these hour-long episodes. Like I said before, this could have been split down the middle into two episodes. It was way too much going on in one episode.

I don't know if it'd be such a bad thing for Meathead and Stripper to try to get together. They both have addiction and self-esteem problems. Maybe they can learn from each other, who knows.

KermitGirl_22:

Poster #2 - I totally agree. this seems to be the most diverse cast in a LOOONG time - and it is about drinking/hooking up but there is somewhat of a different spin on it this time, so I'm actually entertained.

jozeyg:

I don't think Dolt is so cute anymore. I didn't see the beginning of the episode but from what I read that he basically forced Meathead(haha..hard to sound serious with these nicknames) to drink...it just really irritated me. Does he know what 'alcoholic' means? It's not like someone is on a diet and a little cake would hurt them.....you can't give an alcoholic a drink and say 'just a sip' and not think it's gonna affect them....idiot. That's why your name is 'Dolt'

That JoJo guy is way creepy. He looked like an old guy trying to look young. Sorry to break it to you dude, but young guys actually wear t-shirts.

Your screencaps cracked me up! Especially the one with 'Dolt' complaining about the nasty thing in his bed 'Her name is Blondie, Don't be so Rude!' haha..loved that.

"Has Been (oh yeah, he's getting nicknamed too)" --you are now my favorite recapper =)

Off the topic....why isn't anyone recapping Bad Girls Club 2? CB, you would have done a good job recapping that show. It's another one of my favorites =)

hollagirl2:

LOVED the fast recap.
for all you kiddos who need name recaps

stripper- brianna
blondie- kim
goody- sarah
dolt- dave
rick james- will
prety- greg
meaty- joey

aaand i don't think Joey was acting... i think when you're really drunk and emotional you come off looking like a fool and that's when you don't have control over had stupid or dramatic or ridiculous you look.

greg is just obnoxious. he has moments where he seems to be polite and mature and then rolls his eyes the second someone walks away. gag me. you are not good looking.

i love brianna. despite her wardrobe issues... she's really got heart and drive and really wants to do better for herself.

will is so full of himself i can't wait to see his true character come out as the season progresses.

sarah, well there's not much too sarah except her judgements of other people because clearly she went on the season to be better than everyone else and try and convince everyone in her confessionals of how good of a person she is.

dave is just an immature dumbass... i was hoping there was more charm to him, but he just looks like a tool now

kim- i believe her partially when she says she doesnt do relationships or love only because she's so obnoxious and has no morals that i wonder who could possibly want to date her...

Thanks again for the quick recap!

DreamKeeper:

"The next morning, Dolt and Blondie wake up in bed together." CB did you miss Blondie leaning over and picking her thong up off the floor to put back on and dolt was fishing for his undies too.

"That JoJo guy is way creepy. He looked like an old guy trying to look young." He was so Matthew McConaughey as Wooderson in ‘Dazed and Confused’.

bmo1126:

LOVED the fast recap...and the picture captions lol and I totally agree about the hour long episodes they need to just go back to half hour ones. And Strippers outfits? Where would you even find clothes like that?

VegasDarling:

I was wondering...I know people lick coke bags to get the last little bit, but why would someone have so much in their mouth it transferred to another person? Then again, Brianna's tongue was pretty far into that girl's mouth, still - does anyone lick someone gums and tongue that much?

I lovelovelove that the recap was up this morning - it makes it so much better when the episode is still fresh. You're awesome, ChickBomb! I love that you call Joe(? Joey? Yeah, let's just go with Meathead) Meaty sometimes - it makes me think of Meaty from Rob and Big, and the dude does resemble a bulldog!

And Andy Dick? I was sooo hoping they would have to compete to be his assistant - I miss that show so much!

VegasDarling:

And I think they're doing the hour long episodes because the last 10 or 12 episodes of the 26 episode season don't have the high ratings the first few episodes do, because people get tired of the same drunken hookups and fights. By episode 14, I'm usually just reading the recaps and skipping the show, unless it looks like a really good episode from the previews, but even then it turns out to be pretty unentertaining.

I don't think MTV realized we're all just going to get tired of the show that much quicker with longer episodes! They should have just shortened the time in the house so they could shorten the season to maybe 15 or 18 episodes, because you can only watch the same people screw and throw glasses at each other before it gets repetitive.

I do think this season looks better though - already they brought up issues that are intense, like addiction and racism (although that wasn't touched on too deeply, I imagine with Blondie's ignorance it's going to be coming up again). It'll be interesting to see how Bri copes with her addiction and whether or not Meathead gets help for his many issues.

hollabackboy:

"Umm, a) classy, and b) does anyone believe Dolt has anything bigger than pinky size? Something about him just screams small one."

Lol. That was mean, but so funny. But yeah I'm not a big fan of Dolt after this episode. He puts too much pressure on Joey to drink. Even after he told him he used to be an alcoholic, he's still offering him sips of alcohol and shots? Douche.

hollagirl2:

another thought on Dolt...
I think it's hilarious that he's posted in his defense that editing was what made it look like he kept on pushing Joey to drink....
ummm yeah, that scene was a continuos shot so it pretty much would have been impossible for the editors to cut it out of context.
typical irresponsible real worlders blame editing for everything and take no responsibility for what they said or did... next we'll be hearing kim say it was editing that made her say "don't act ghetto"
grow up dave.

loves2play05:

UGH...that guy Stripper brought home was a big douche!..did anyone else notice he kinda had the same hair style as Meathead, but had a serious case of receding hair line, he's totally trying to cover it up by combing the sides forward!

i have an extreme hate for blondie..her voice is just incredibly annoying, and shes a dumbass. nuff said bout her.

and something about Stripper..who can possibly find this girl attractive? yeah she looks cute sometimes but for the most part, ew.

Prety makes me laugh..his douchness is too much to handle..i love how when someone walks away after talking to him, he rolls his eyes...lol, what a tool.

38Noles:

I'm glad I wasn't the only one laughing at Meathead's tearful monologue..."Joey's gonna be gone man, Joey's gonna be gone"

LMAO

Donna Martin Graduates!:

Hey CB -- did you recap the Rock of Lurve 2 reunion show??

sweetleaf:

HAHA that leprechaun on the Real Worl called Joey a meathead!

bmo1126:
They are called stripper clothes and they sell them in stripper stores and at stripper conventions! Oh and at head shops too!

carriec:

Did anyone notice that the guys, minus Prety, all wore identical jackets to the bar? I think Will's was a different color but Joey's and Dolt's were the same. That's just weird.

TinkerbellAPixie:

Actually - Will and Greg had matching jackets and Joey and Dave had different but matching jackets.

Has anyone mentioned roid rage in regards to Joey? I mean he's all beefed up with bulging veins and has anger issues and substance issues. Sounds like roid rage to me.

One more thing, the blonde ho didn't come back on a separate night - that was classic Real World editing (not the kind Dave was using as a defense). The ho was wearing the very same outfit and Joey was wearing the same white tank top from the night he got drunk. This scene is just from before he tore his short in half.

And about that torn shirt - if you watch the episode it goes back and forth from torn to solid. They are getting sloppier with their wonky time mapping.

Great recap Chick!

kaneetra:

Did anyone catch the last "prank"? Someone left $100s and $50s on Prety's bed. For a second when the camera showed the bed I had a great moment when I though it was stripper's bed and meathead had left the money to comment ion her on behavior. But alas i gave them too much credit.

kellyhp12:

A stripper with a Meth addiction?? Well now I've heard it all!

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