Real World Hollywood: Meathead Soliloquy

Hello dolls and welcome back to the Real Word Hollywood! On tonight's Pre-True Hollywood Story, a young man in search of fake reality show fame moves to Hollywood. He rides the heady wave Real World notoriety - VIP status at sparsely attended dive bars on Hollywood Blvd., women with weaves of synthetic yellow, drinking Brandy over ice in plastic cups with his worldly Ohio-bred roommate. But the harsh glare of the cameras following him 24-7 quickly begins to destroy him. Really quickly. Like, in three weeks. See how this brave, reality show actor broke barriers by bringing prepared, Oscar-quality teary monologues to his show. See how he almost lost it all over the pressures of being twenty-four and living rent-free. With a gym. See how it all began...

Picture 1-44
You have so much promise! If only you could cry...

We open with shots of the traffic, as usual. Some editor clearly has an issue. Brianna The Stripper is making the pressing decision about who to take home to Philly with her for the all important hometown visit section of the Real World. She was thinking of taking Joey Meathead, but since he's so occupied with deciding between drunk and sober, she takes everyone's pal, Rick James Will with her. He is happy to be a good friend, and support her while she fights the charges of beating her boyfriend. Remember from episode one, this is an important court date, if she doesn't show she will become a...fugitive of justice! I am hoping for a cameo from the Constable of Pennsylvania. I hope he's wearing something fancy, like one of the guards at Buckingham Palace.

So, off they go, and back on the ranch, Meathead, Dave Dolt and Goody Sarah are having a chat. It's about strippers. Dolt has just met one, and guess what? Goody's got something to say about it. Dolt's argument is that strippers are people too, and he once knew a girl just like Goody who was a stripper. "Not like me," Goody shakes her head prissily, "I would never strip." She has self-respect. She would never objectify herself like that. And so on.

And Dolt's over it. "This whole objectifying the women thing..." he starts like he doesn't really get the concept, but then tells Goody to get off her pedestal anyway. Just cause he doesn't understand what it means, Dolt knows snotty and annoying when he sees it.

But then he goes on to try and educate Miss Priss about the terrible plight of the stripper. Some of them really need the money, and that's all they can do, he explains earnestly. Well, if they need a job, they should just work at McDonalds, she responds knowingly, like that's gonna solve everything. And hello, if all the strippers went to work at McDonalds, who would do the stripping? I'd think that one through before I sent it to committee, sweetheart.

Drivethrustrip
Sir, please stop rubbing your crotch. It's just an Egg McMuffin.

And then, it's time to get really enlightened with Blondie Kim. "It's lazy people who don't want to make an honest living, so they do something that happens to be immoral," she squawks from her little blanket nest on the couch. Oh, thank heavens we have Goody and Blondie to simplify for us - strippers are lazy people who are ruining society by not working at McDonalds. Thanks, ladies. You are very insightful and wise.

And Blondie personally knows people who have came from nothing, and worked their way up through McDonalds, she insists indignantly. I highly, highly doubt that Blondie would ever even befriend someone who worked at McDonalds. Then she tells everyone that most strippers strip to pay for their drugs, and that's a fact. Oh, it is? How does she know? Did she take a poll? Conduct a research project? And for those keeping track, that makes all strippers not only lazy and immoral, but also on drugs, in Blondie's book. I really hope there's some stripper in a parallel universe right now yelling about how all Southern white girls are ignorant racists with bad haircuts.

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Well, she could be robbing people for her drugs, and instead she's working on her acrobatic skills. What's so bad about that?

The boys are so offended by the stripper abuse, they take off in the family Honda. Meathead tells Dolt that the reason why he couldn't stand up for him in the argument was because if he did, he would explode. And probably rip his shirt open too.

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Comments (18)

kizik:

This was truly the most disturbing RW I've ever seen.

Anyone who knows an alcoholic or a rage-oholic felt the creeps I was feeling while watching this last night. I really felt for the people in the house. This asshole was on edge, talking about KNOCKING GIRLS OUT WITH ONE PUNCH.

I was pissed when after the retarded, instantaneous rehab thing (stupid RW producers), the roommates were like, "Oh that's OK! So proud of you Joey!"

I would have been like, "Do not f-ing talk to me, you piece of sh*t."

F*ck Joey, what a terrible, terrible person.

reckless_saturn_11:

That was truly one of the most hilarious recaps that I have read in along time. I know it isn't good to laugh at other's expense, but if I didn't laugh I would cry and I don't watch reality tv to cry.

hollabackboy:

Good recap ChickBomb. Although it was a little uncomfortable making light of something so serious. But you pulled it off and didn't go too far.

Kizik, I know you probably had a very emotional reaction to this episode, since you say you've known an alcoholic. I understand that, cause I had a friend with a drinking problem that passed away. But don't be that hard on him. Yes, his behavior was totally out of line. But, it wasn't unforgivable either. He only threatened, and thank God he didn't actually hurt someone. Joey clearly has an addictive personality. He always needs some kind of crutch. If it's not booze, he's on his supplements or insane workout routines. He's obviously been through a lot. He was homeless, and had a rough childhood (let's not forget when he said in the first episode he was beaten up every day as a kid, and that he had addict parents). I don't think he's a bad person. He just clearly has some serious anger and self esteem issues he has to deal with, and his addictions only made it worse.

I'm glad they offered him rehab. It was a good decision, and he'll be gone for a month and will be able to work out his issues. If I'm not mistaken, Ruthie went to rehab for alcoholism on the Hawaii season, and she came back a lot better.

Also, I for one am glad this season is a lot more real and interesting than the past few. Not too many drunken hookups or immature drunken fights. It's REAL issues this time around, and it's making for some good TV.

kizik:

hollabackboy,

you're right, I was thinking after I posted that I was too hard on him. Joey is going to need to deal with not just his alcoholism/addiction, but the ROOT of these problems, which is his childhood trauma.

You are correct that I had a very strong reaction to his actions, and this is because he was threatening the safety of people around him. The roommates will remember that experience for a looong time.

I agree that ChickBomb was treading some dangerous waters. I feel she WAS making too much light of the situation. I understand this is supposed to be a comedic recap forum, but people need to recognize the severity of certain issues when they arise, instead of passing them off as entertainment. We've been so dumbed down as a culture that it's like everything we see is supposed to be "funny," and a lot of times it's not.

bigjr6633:

This recap was funny although the situation was sad.

For Joey to be an alcoholic and all the rest of his issues, I don't think signing up for the Real World and Hollywood for that matter was the best idea. Seriously all these people do is to go to clubs and drink, what did Joey think he was going to do while he was there, just read and work out.

Unlike Ruthie from the Hawaii season who got better when she came back, Joey comes back but I don't think it helped as much because judging from the previews I saw earlier, it looks like Joey just picks up someone and just throws them to the ground.

As much as I like Joey and his storyline makes for good tv, I think the best thing for him would've beeen just to go to rehab and not and then leave Hollywood.

SpaceVenus:

It was a disturbing episode, Joey was pretty scary. Like everyone else noted, it couldn't have been just the alcohol.

The too little sheltered girls really pissed me off in regards to the stripper issue. Granted, I don't think I would strip either, but one should never say never.
They're too inexperienced and sheltered to realize that there are mitigating circumstances for most things in life. What if they had to support a sick child or a parent, without the benefit of education or savings or alternatives of any kind? McDonald's salary wouldn't cut it.
Dumb, dumb, dumb and stupid.

hollagirl2:

Great, fast recap CB.

I agree that it is a fine line to walk in regards to recapping an episode with such serious issues as anger management, alcoholism, and everything else going on. I thought you did a good job, but maybe pushed the line a little bit in the "plight of the hollywood actor dreams"...

I appreciate you trying to be good humored and entertaining about the episode, but it was nice to have an episode with actual depth and people with real problems so it was interesting to see how you complain about people who are shallow and then when you get people with actual problems, make fun of them...

besides that, I like your style of writing and you had some great bits and summed up the episode pretty nicely.

as far as the jab at the producers... it's easy for people to say that producers only care about the money and the show aspect, but they really do know these people, and so it's not a ridiculous idea to believe that they probably also do care about them to some extent.

as far as kim and sarah are concerned. gag me. they'll never gain anything from this experience if they continue to be so close-minded and haughty.

Dave partially redeemed himself. Will is just will. And Pretyboy, well as much I want to hate him, he's becoming more likeable than the girls so that's a feat.

I love Bri.At least she knows she has issues and is working on them. It's good to see people with actual vulnerability and not the fakeness normally accustomed with the Real World Girls.

kuddlez:

Does it occur to anyone that there may be exotic dancers that actually enjoy what they do? They don't have problems with their sexuality, nobody touched them when they were little...they just don't mind expressing their sexuality?

I personally am a feminist-no, not femi-nazi all you Rush Limbaugh fans out there-but I do struggle with my ideals in regards to to dancing and pornography as do many of us.

Not all of us are judgemental know-it-alls. Who the hell knows it all at 22? The wisest person is the one who realizes that they don't really know it all.

Peace!

paulina:

ok...so goody doesn't want her body objectified. i know there are a lot more issues involved in an eating disorder (erratic body image,low self esteem,longing to be accepted,anxiety,etc)but doesn't part of it involve wanting to give guys a boner?u may have been destroying us body "for years" (to quote her on it), but good 4 u, not taking off ur clothes...isn't it kind of hypocritical though?

kizik:

Paulina, that's pretty ridiculous. I really don't see the hypocrisy between Sarah previously having an eating disorder and her comments about stripping.

And the fact is, Sarah's right, stripping does objectify women. What bothered me about her and Kim's comments, though, (as others have mentioned here) is the snotty little attitude they had. Of course you'd never strip! Your folks have MONEY. Some people are BROKE and see no alternative - and NO, KIM, you stupid bitch, they don't do it "just to pay for their drugs." And that is a FACT.

Sweetleaf:

That kid with the horrible forward brushed hair sides was so relieved to go to rehab it almost broke my heart. He was totally out of control.

Yes goody and blondie are being closed-minded and judgemental but you know what, that's ok with me! I am glad they told the guys that they are not all a-okay with strippers and reminded them that there are other ways to earn money. (yes the Mcdonalds comment was retarded.)They were just setting their standard for the house and letting the guys know where they stand on the issue. If I was rooming with others I would say close to the same damn thing! After those guys actually date a stripper they will know what's up. Probably be pissy too.
The way that the guys got so heated and defensive was kinda wierd. Meaty obviously has issues with everything, so not that suprised he was offended.

MichyPR:

Thanks for the quick recap CB. It's a good one :)
I'm embarrassed to admit that I cried when Meaty was having his breakdown and when the producers offered to take him to rehab, my heart broke for him. Lame, I know. I honestly cannot stand Sarah, she thinks she's better than everyone and her and Kim were quick to say that they wanted Joey out of the house and then were all hypocritical telling him that they loved him and whatnot. They try to look good after they screw up.

Also, I think Prety and Dolt are kinda growing on me and so is Will, he's really cute. Anyways, great recap as usual CB, keep up the good work :)

sowhat1234:

In regards to Sweetleaf's comment...

This has nothing to do with the guys ever dating a stripper. My understanding is that all of these people are living with the stripper; hence, they are all (all six "strangers") going through the same "experience" if we refer to your own disdain for strippers...or not.

The fact of the matter is, the guys have more compassion towards Brianna because they (and you should write this down too...) UNDERSTAND!

They understand Brianna's situation. Joey lived the same situation as Brianna. And well, for Dave, I'm guessing he's just that kind of person. A person who, somewhat, at times, UNDERSTANDS. Dave may not have been in those same circumstances, but at least he can UNDERSTAND that some situations are different than others especially in the case of Brianna. And quite frankly, we don't know too much about her yet.

And for all the women (I presume) on this forum who claim that Brianna is objectifying herself................why does it matter to you? Its her body! While I do not fully support her choice, Kuddlez had a good point. She might just enjoy it; or maybe, this is the lifestyle she wants. When she is ready to change path, she will. Lets not impose on someone our own beliefs. She does herself; you do you!

chunkymonkey:

I wonder how much more respect sarah thinks will be given to a real world cast member than is given to a stripper. At least a stripper can change stripping to waitressing on her resume- you can't hide that you voluntarily got wasted and acted like an idiot on national television. judge not sweetie. I actually know a former real worlder (who shall remain nameless) and the girl cannot get a "real" job in the "real" real world. Apparently sarah doesn't think she'll have that problem. It might have been a little premature to make fun of stripping.

jesshloly:

i was kind of touched by the scene with the producers, especially when the one was like "joey, look at me. we care."

also, dave is seeming more like a decent guy. loved it when joey said "i wasn't like this before coming here" and blondie was like "NO" and you could see dave making a gesture behind joey like "cool it, he's gonna blow"

jozeyg:

why is it that I never hear anyone say that a male stripper is objectifying themselve? It's always the female strippers that are looked down on and "disrespecting their bodies". In other words, get over it. It's their life and their body. The 2 judgemental chicks really need to stop acting all high and mighty. Just because you guys don't strip doesn't make you a better person then Brianna.

Can't wait until the next episode when 'Ms. I don't do love and I don't do boyfriends' goes crazy jealous cuz Dave found a new chick. It's funny when she said 'i'm way hotter then the girl with the gold belt!' girl, please.

And Sarah cries on the phone cuz people are having sex right next to her. haha. are u serious? you're gonna cry?

yeah.....if you haven't noticed. I really don't like these chicks.

CB, I noticed you included their names with their nicknames! haha. Thanks!

missk:

This season of the Real World truly is the trashiest of all things trashy. It's disgusting, to be honest. And this coming from someone who enjoys trashy television. Do they intentionally seek out the dumbest, most ignorant people imaginable? I thought Sydney was bad, but there is not one single likable person on the Hollywood cast. Ridiculous.

/End rant.

blahblah:

I miss the days when they showed Real Worlders in situations other than just hanging out at the bar and work. Remember when the cameras followed Real Worlders as they lived their lives? When did this show turn into Big Brother? Is it in their contracts to stay in the house at all times?

A lot of their issues could be coming from them being stir crazy. I'd be starting fights and getting drunk, too, if that's all I had to do all day (and I don't even drink!).

Prety is growing on me. He's showing his softer side. I think he just has a low threshold for boredom so he likes to start shit.

Will is the sanest one out of all of them (despite his crazy ass wardrobe). And he's hot (minus the hair in the face).

Dave is also growing on me. He redeemed himself in this episode by supporting Joey. By the way, Chickbomb, Dave was not expressing doubt that Joey could kick his habits at the end. It was the exact opposite. He said since Joey managed to quit using drugs and alcohol (same thing to me) by himself for 4 months, then he can quit with help.

Sarah is just as judgmental as Kim, but I think deep down there's a nice person underneath all that prissiness. Kim, on the other hand, is a spoiled brat who has lived a sheltered life and her point of view is very limited as a result. She can kick rocks.

Briana is one disturbed chick. She's so used to using her body to get attention and make herself feel better...that's her new habit/addiction. They all seem to be trying to fill a huge self-esteem hole.

From the tone of her mom's voice, I think the mystery is solved about Briana's racial background. She's biracial. Her mom is definitely white (and spunky!).

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