Can't read this recap anymore because of all the "Blondie" and "Stripper" and "Rick James" and "Prety". Go back to first names. It's not funny.

well, i for one, love your recaps chickbomb... you had me at Rock of Love...

I like the nicknames for the roomates, don't listen to mcbwallace.

On to Prety, I don't get him either, he just seems weird and that runway show was ridicilous WTF was he doing? It's funny seeing Dolt who's like 5'4" trying to fight Prety who's like 6'5".

I don't really want to see the saga of Dolt and Blondie's relationship, but they have to fill this shit out for a hour.

I also love Rick James and the stripper. They seem to be real people instead of the fake judgemental types like Goody.

I love that screencap about Fantasia getting a new job.

Great recap, CB, well done! I love the "Andy Dick" photo caption, which is funny in itself, but I have to admit, it's hilarious as it reads right now :)

The nicknames are a TVGasm staple, ChickBomb is absolutely one of the best! Keep up the great work :)

I like the nicknames, like Stripper and Rick James they seem like real people. Hate Goody. Why was it okay for Blondie and Dolt to have sex in the same room as Goody but not Stripper?

i can't STAND sarah and kim (goody and blondie). they are two of the most judgmental, hypocritical, holier-than-thou people i've ever seen. isn't it so ironic that some of the "very religious" christians are often the most snobbish and judgmental ones? when the bible clearly states everyone sins and only god has the right to judge. a true christian would know that. but sarah probably gets that attitude from her mother, because her father sounded very down-to-earth.

Stripper is so funny. She kind of reminds me of myself (other than the trashiness and general lack of class). I love how she knows she's lazy as fuck and has big goals... but just doesn't want to put in the work to get there.

I hate Goody and I HATE HATE HATE Blondie.

I also hate Dolt. I know that Greg is going to be hated on for the rest of this season (I've heard some spoilers that imply his time in the house may be short) but he's actually my favorite out of this entire overly dramatic, attention-whoring group of roommates.

I like Prety. I think he has a great sense of irony about the whole Real World thing. He's blatantly and openly only there to advance his modeling career and does not give a crap about the rest of the nonsense in the house. It's refreshing.

For "mcbwallace", so he can keep up with everyone else and not tell people how to write their recaps that amuse everyone else:

Greg = Pretty
Sarah = Goodie
Joey = Meat
Kim = Blondie
Dave = Dolt
Brianna = Stripper
Will = Rick James

What was it that Kim said about strippers? They strip to support a drug habit and are too lazy to get money any other way?

So now we've heard that Bri had a meth and coke addiction, and that she's too lazy to work hard and expects things to come easy. Kinda funny that even dumbass Kim was right. LOL

Goody and Blondie irritate the hell out of me. I hope they are embarrassed when they watch this.

"Well, fucking him under night vision cameras must make you feel like Princess Grace then, right darling?"

--ChickBomb, I love you! What a hilarious recap. Nine pages and I was still bummed when it was over.

Will has always acted mature and seemed like a good guy, but who would have guessed that Bri and Greg would show themselves to be such mature and pretty decent people? For being the one Kim accused of being "ghetto", Bri showed incredible restraint when Sarah and Kim were being incredibly mean in a middle school kind of way. Those girls are REALLY lucky Bri was sober.

Kim/Blondie is DISGUSTING. Her personality is just awful, and without makeup she totally looks like a dude.

Hate Sarah, but love her dad. It's nice to occasionally see someone religious who really employs what they read in the bible, instead of just using their religiousness to feel superior to everyone around them (Sarah).

I was just in Iamonmtv.com checking out Greg's profile and this is what he had to say on one of his blogs:

"A gentleman like myself would love to extend a warm welcome to all the "beautiful" females!! If you think your beautiful and no one else concurs, then this welcome is unfortunately not for you at this time."

...He's hot but he's definitely not as hot as he thinks he is.

CB, I'm gonna go ahead and clear up the legend that is grits.

Grits is a stable breakfast food in the South and Midwest. It can be mixed with cheese (yum!), sugar, fish, potatoes, chopped up bits of bacon, eggs...it's filler food, basically. It rounds out whatever other breakfast food you want to eat with it.

It goes great after a night of clubbing because it soaks up the alcohol really good. It is believed to have magical hangover-relieving powers. That's why if you go anywhere in the South, you will always find a 24-hour Waffle House on every corner. The smartest Waffle House franchise owners will even share a parking lot with a club, as to make the stumbling distance a lot shorter for the drunks coming out of the club.

I would like to leave you with a bit from OutKast's ode to grits:

"Throw your hands in the air..and wave 'em like you just don't care. And if you like fish and grits and all that pimp sh*t, everybody let me hear you say "oh yea!" (The way OutKast raps, these sentences actually rhyme.)

Oh, and Kim's a judgmental, hypocritical, racist slut. Cheers!

I'm still watching the show, so this is sorry for the liveblogging...

Kim: "I would prefer for him not to bring home OTHER dirty hookers...cuz that's just gross. Because if he does, then we..are not going to have sex."

HA! So Kim wants to be the only "dirty hooker" that Dave brings home to have sex with? Kim's so judgmental, she's even calling herself nasty names. Loves it! I wonder what her partner-in-judgment has to say about her behavior last night. Good thing Goody wasn't there to see it with her own damning eyes.

"She has a great body, tall and thin, but ..."

If I didn't already know, I can tell you're white by this comment, CB. Only a white girl (or guy) would think Kim has a "great body". She is shaped like a stick, with no breasts, hips, or ass. And her face is horrible. Notice Dave is the only guy in the house who finds her even remotely hot. That's not a coincidence.

She is one of those girls who thinks she's hotter than she is because in her world, she has all of the "hot" accessories: tall, thin, fake-blond, does she have blue eyes? But in my world, she would be called scraggly. She's what some would call "strictly co-signer material", as in you would only date her if you wanted her to co-sign on a big purchase.

An example of someone who the mainstream media tries to push as hot that coincides with street hot is pre-pregnant Jessica Alba. That's someone with a "great body". And not because she's thin, but she manages to pull off thin, yet curvy at the same time. Best of both worlds.

Stripper's life philosophy: "I hate the working hard part of anything."

This explains why she's stripping. It's damn easy work once you get past the disrespecting oneself part.

Brianna has a nice voice. She should stop smoking, though. Aretha Franklin can still sing but it's nowhere near what it was back in the 60's/70's.

She's the type of chick who needs to sleep her way to a record deal, studio time, hit songs, etc. It will eliminate the "hard work" part she doesn't like and yield some really good results since she actually has talent...unlike say, Paris Hilton.

Ok, I'd so be Goody in that Brianna with HoHo situation. I don't want to hear/see/smell any roommates having sex two feet away from me. That's very rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate. Brianna should save that for an audience that wants to see that mess. I'm sure there are plenty of sex clubs where she could've gone to have sex in public.

I really don't understand people (especially women) who let their down-unders (hee hee) do the thinking for them.

From listening to Goody's conversation with her mom, we now know where she gets her judgmental-ness from. I wonder if she told her mom how she got drunkity drunk on her 21st bday and almost cheated on her bf? She obviously only talks ish about Brianna because her mom immediately guessed which roommate was having sex in Goody's room even though Blondie does it all the time apparently.

Finally, something we can agree on, CB.

Sarah is definitely this season's Parisa, with the whole "I'm religious, and therefore super moral" B.S. Sarah "grew up in a religious home" with the mom who's so quick to call another woman a "bitch"? I don't think that's what Jesus would do...Sarah, it's time to befriend Mary Magdalene!

How is HoHo a worse choice of a sleeping partner than Dave? They're both scuzzy. Why in the world did Blondie/Kim get cast on this show? Is it the Real World's casting director's ambition to have us not like at least one cast member anymore? Mary Bunim is probably turning in her grave as I type...

38noles:

Kim was not right when she said strippers strip to make money for their drug habits. The problem was that she generalized. That's not why ALL strippers strip. What do you call dirty dancing and grinding on the dancefloor to the point where your crotch is showing in your tiny dress in the middle of a packed club? I would call that disrespecting yourself and giving a hell of a strip show. So which is worse: stripping for money or for free? Let Blondie tell it, stripping for money is way worse. And which is worse: having a sex buddy relationship with a fellow cast member who you've known for..oh, about a week and a half or someone you met in a club three days ago? There's no difference between the way Blondie is acting and the way Bri is acting, except Blondie has a shitty, self-righteous attitude about what she does.

The best part about this hour-long episode is that the first half was devoted to Blondie's drunk ass whoring (which Bri didn't judge), while the second half is devoted to Blondie totally acting mean-girlish and judgy about Bri's lifestyle choices. I wouldn't act like neither one of these girls, but I could at least be cool with Brianna. She's a good person. Blondie is just pure evil.

The ironic thing about how Sarah, Kim, and Bri act is that it's ALL THE SAME. They are all insecure, but Brianna is more comfortable with herself. She doesn't lie about who she is to herself or to look good to others. That shows a stronger sense of self than Sarah and Kim.

A smart person once said that what really makes us angry about others is something we fear in ourselves.

Goody has an inner ho who she works hard to control. She gives herself moral points every time she doesn't do what the inner ho wants to do. So when she sees Bri act out her inner self, she gets angry and judgy. Same thing with Blondie . By judging Bri so harshly, they are judging themselves.

Notice how Will thought Bri was attractive in the beginning and wanted to get with her. That changed after he found out she's a stripper. He judged her as not being his type for a relationship, but didn't judge her a BAD PERSON and use that as a justification to be mean to her. Will is the coolest person in this damn house. Then Bri, then Greg, then...yea, that's about it.

They should bring Trasha and Shavon into this house and see how those two would get along with their personality clones, Goody and Blondie.

I'm finally done watching the episode and reading the recap. Damn, these hour shows are...not cool.

JasonR, I agree with you about how it's nice to see some religious people (especially Christians) follow the word they claim to believe in rather than use it to put others down.

This is my last comment, I swear!

On the real world webpage on the mtv website, there's a picture of the Real World cast and Brianna's wearing the same dress that Blondie wore in this episode when she did her very good impression of a drunk whore in the club!!

Oh, gotta love the irony.