"All the guys in the house do not like me!" she shrieks, meaning, "Omigod, all the guys in the house totally like me!", and then Rick James seals the deal by telling her he has a "kindergarten crush" on her. A kindergarten crush? But Rick James sagely explains that women like it when you tell them this. Wow, thank heavens at least one man out there finally figured it out! Act like a five year old! That's it! Rick James, forget the breakdancing and free CD issuing career. You need a book deal. Releasing Your Inner Kindergartener To Land The Lady of Your Dreams!
Of course, goody goody Sarah gets in her room, and can't find the alleged lost purse. Rick James tries to ambush her into kissing him it looks like, but she dodges away. She tells us in her interview that when she's drinking, she doesn't always make the best decisions. Translated, that means when she's drunk, she's a whore, and that will be her calling card on this season's Real World.
Over at da club, there is a line to get in. Prety doesn't do lines, so he takes off. But everyone else goes inside, and they've having a blast! Woo hoo! Dave tells us there's lots of sexual tension.
Back at the house, Rick James has tied Goody up in the confessional - oh, sorry, went a little overboard with that Rick James thing there - he's just got her in the confessional. I'm mostly sure she's not tied up. But she is sucking on a lolly, and Rick is telling her he thinks they should do something bad right now. He likes her. "You like me?" she asks faux-innocently. Please tell me she isn't the actress in this group. Actually, who gives a shit, cause two seconds later, she tells Rick, "Let's go to your room."
Big tease though. I'm not sure what they're doing in there, but it looks like just talking. And Goody escapes the bedroom to have a top secret meeting behind the sofa with Blondie, to pass along the intel that Rick James likes her. But she has a boyfriend. Sigh. What to do?
Have a spritzer.
Why, go swimming, of course! They all hit the hot tub...all except Prety. He says he's going to come in, but then starts making fun of Meathead for wearing a t-shirt in the hot tub. Meathead gets mad, tells him not to talk shit, and before you know it, he's outside talking to the Stripper and Goody about how Prety's no tough guy, and better not talk shit to him cause he comes from a house where he got beat up every day. Oh, was he living with the Stripper?
All the gossiping little hens go over to the hot tub to tell Prety he's pissing everybody off. Prety was under the impression that the fight was simply between him and Meathead, but duh, this is so not the rule in the Real World house. If you have words with a roomie, you must immediately tell the story to all the other roomies in the house as soon as you see them. And make sure everyone knows it was 100% the other person's fault. The more people you tell and the sooner you do it, the better chance you have at them all ganging up with you. Come on Prety, get with the program.
The Stripper tells Prety he's being an asshole. Goody tells him needs to apologize. "Well, if you have a problem with the way I speak to you, then I won't speak to you," he intones condescendingly. "Ok, fantastic! Let's go with that!" would have been my cheery reply, but nooooo. Goody and the Stripper want to make a big deal about what an immature way it is to solve a problem.
Later that night, there's clouds overhead. And there's the foursome of Blondie, the Stripper, Dave and Meathead in the confessional talking about how even though the internet people chose him, Prety isn't the real "chosen one". Which he seems to overhear. So he gets on the phone with his Mommy to tell her how it soooooo doesn't matter to him what they say - "they're mere peasants" he says. I know this guy's a moron, but I also know he's acting like this for attention only, and it's totally working and it's making me laugh. Then he tells us he's perfection. In a Real World lame, pseudo-villain kind of way, why yes Prety, perfection you are.
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Comments (22)
Stripper totally does look like an albino. Her hair is exactly the same color as her skin. Ew.
1 of 22 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on April 19, 2008 3:55 PM
Greg probably was just brought in to be the villain. Trisha stirred so much shit last season, they probably wanted to make sure they had a trouble maker in the house. They say he was "picked online", but I really don't remember MTV advertising about picking a Real Worlder online. I think they just said that to create a division between him and the others from the start. I mean, you know how manipulative reality producers can be.
As for the other roommates :
Joey : Seems like a nice guy, with an apparently bad temper. He says in one episode he had a "problem" and I'm guessing it steroids (which may have caused his upcoming rage fits).
Blondie (can't remember her real name) : Not a huge fan of hers. I think the comment she made about Will she comes from the fact that she's ignorant and hasn't been around diverse people. She may not necessarily be a racist though.
Briana : She's alright. I'm not judging her based on her job, because that's kind of wrong. But her mentioning being in the "Top 45" on Idol was a little lame.
Will : Don't have a solid opinion on him yet. Although I did think it was wrong for him to judge Briana for being a stripper, at least he did apologize afterwards.
Sarah : Again, don't have a real opinion of her yet. She kind of reminds me of Sarah from Philadelphia (and not just cause of her name). Kind of random, and I'm not sure why, but she does.
Dave : Who? I don't really remember much about him, but he didn't get a lot of camera time. Hopefully he won't be the token "who's that?" roommate that get no camera time, because they are always just wastes of space.
Love or hate him, at least we can thank Greg for making this episode pretty interesting (or shall I say "prety" interesting). The personalities of the others didn't come through all the way, but it is only the first episode. Hopefully, this will be a more tolerable, enjoyable season than the annoying, childish "Sydney" season.
2 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on April 19, 2008 4:54 PM
good call on the blondie/pumpkin thing
3 of 22 | Posted by kelseym13 | Posted on April 19, 2008 5:32 PM
just to claaaarify...
pretyboy was picked from an online contest regardless if you didnt know the contest was going on, doesnt mean it didnt exist...
the producers had nothing to do with it...
it was an mtv based contest. not a bunim-murray productions contest.
interesting recap... cant wait to see how the season progresses and if everyones lives up to their pegs.
4 of 22 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on April 19, 2008 6:56 PM
#2:
I don't know why you're being so nice. These people are your typical 20-something idiots. All of them, maaaybe except for Sarah and Will.
Blondie's comments, though probably inspired by pure naivete, made me want to strangle my TV. Greg's "peasant" comments left me aghast and disgusted.
Dave and Meathead are just so f*cking stupid it hurts.
5 of 22 | Posted by kizik | Posted on April 19, 2008 7:19 PM
Oh how I wish this were ANTM, because Briana (sp?) is in desperate need of a makeover episode.
To be continued...
6 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on April 19, 2008 9:19 PM
I like Briana, although good call on her being a drama queen. She seems nice, though.
Funny how Will started out liking Ms. Albino then immediately switched to Sarah because he likes "the chase". So...because stripper = easy in Will's mind, he lost interest. When I first saw him, he was wearing biker shorts at the Real World Awards. Not cute. At all. But after watching this episode, I think he's a cutie. The hair gets in the way.
I started out thinking Prety was hot but...not so much anymore. Bad attitude destroyed his hotness for me. He's a total actor. The bored disinterested look is such a pose.
Sarah's ignorant and boring. Ditto Blondie (what's her name again?) and Dave.
Joey's a sweetheart who needs to cut back on the steroids..er..I mean protein shakes, yea that's it.
CB, your judgmental recaps are still annoying but at least you don't have Parisa around anymore for the cheap go-to punchline.
7 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on April 19, 2008 9:39 PM
"he's outside talking to the Stripper and Goody about how Prety's no tough guy, and better not talk shit to him cause he comes from a house where he got beat up every day. Oh, was he living with the Stripper? "- LMAO I loved it. Great recap CB :)
I think all the male roommates are cute, the only thing I didn't like about Joey were his ears and that he kind of reminds me of Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Greg is f*cking hot!!! and so is Dave IMO. Don't really like any of the girls, maybe what's her face Blondie. Briana is ugly and looks skanky, also what's up with her wardrobe? She went clubbing in those jeans and flip flops? WTF? ugh she's a mess. Anyways, this season looks promising,, let's hope for the best.
8 of 22 | Posted by MichyPr | Posted on April 20, 2008 12:18 AM
Blahblah, I second the comment about CB's recaps, but I am still 100% ready to give her a second chance this season because her recaps are still hella funny. This sounds really crazy, but I feel like you hate brunette's CB? First Parisa, and now Sarah? Maybe I'm crazy, but again I'm totally willing to give these recaps a second chance.
Greg is really annoying, but I agree with CB about him doing it for attention and it working.
Will is really hot, and that music producer thing is a lot more realistic than the normal "I want to be an actor" bullshit the rest of them have going for them.
I liked Sarah initially, but I'm not sure anymore.
Male and female Blondie are both just blah.
Joey... roid rage might be interesting to see on TV? Beyond that, they could have picked a cuter meathead.
I'm not judging Stripper because she's an "exotic dancer", I'm judging her because she seems like an abusive, attention seeking ho. She seems nice despite her orange weave though.
9 of 22 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on April 20, 2008 10:11 AM
What's with guys on reality tv and their wierd names for people?
Raheim on Paradise Hotel had his "government" and he was "secretary of defense", Bobby on Hell's Kitchen is a "four star general" or something stupid like that, and now Greg with his "associates" and "peasants". It's getting really annoying...why can't they just say people??
10 of 22 | Posted by lovepr | Posted on April 20, 2008 1:36 PM
ChickBomb, I just wanted to say the I LOVE your recaps. I don't know why haters even bother posting. You're my favorite TVgasm recapper.
11 of 22 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on April 20, 2008 3:53 PM
for the record, Briana's hair is not a weave it's BRAIDS.
plus, I think she is going to make the season interesting
12 of 22 | Posted by nflow | Posted on April 20, 2008 10:39 PM
Weave or not, her hair still looks like plastic and matches her skin. I'm not saying that makes her a bad person or anything, but come on...don't strippers make good money? She should try spending some on a good colorist.
13 of 22 | Posted by leslie_pcc | Posted on April 21, 2008 7:26 AM
I love when people complain about a recapper being judgmental yet post quite a few paragraphs of their own judgments...hello irony!
And the Pumkin/Briana comparison is one of the most accurate observations ever. All these girls belong on Flavor of Love, and the guys (especially PretyBoy) should be on I Love NY.
HollaBackBoy - I was totally thinking the same thing about Meathead and the steroid thing too! I have a feeling A Very Special Episode About the Dangers of Steroids is coming up.
14 of 22 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on April 21, 2008 9:10 AM
" really don't remember MTV advertising about picking a Real Worlder online"
IS THAT POSSIBLE? MTV advertised it to death. They did special showing who was "in the lead," and everybody was a douchebag.
15 of 22 | Posted by bulletproofheart | Posted on April 21, 2008 10:03 AM
"i shall cut them with my plastic rolex" LOL
p.s. loved the justin bobby quote.
16 of 22 | Posted by naijababe623 | Posted on April 21, 2008 10:51 AM
I guess you guys are right. Maybe I'm just a conspiracy theorist. :]
But I honestly don't remember that contest being advertised, so I thought it was kind of suspicious. Because everything is not always exactly what it seems on reality tv
17 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on April 21, 2008 11:24 AM
anyone else think that dave looks exactly like wes, who looks exactly like abram? i know real world casts for stereotypes, but could we at least get some that don't look like long lost triplets?
18 of 22 | Posted by wormfood33 | Posted on April 21, 2008 11:30 AM
Looking forward to an entire season of judgemental hilarious bitchyness, Chickbomb, off to a fantastic start!
I don't remember all the advertising either, but will definitely take everyone's word for it! :)
19 of 22 | Posted by chelle | Posted on April 22, 2008 12:28 PM
The stripper does look like an albino....can we name her Albina for the rest of the season? LOL
20 of 22 | Posted by biji | Posted on April 24, 2008 4:19 PM
Stripper does look like an albino. That was my very first thought and thats all I call her. Albina should be her name!
21 of 22 | Posted by biji | Posted on April 24, 2008 4:21 PM
she looks like an albino because she is albino. When black people are albino they dont look as white as white albino people. Her skin is more yellowish white. And not all albino people have red eyes.
22 of 22 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on April 26, 2008 1:16 PM