Testimonials

Meat tells us that once again, today was not a good day. Is he keeping up with his meds? He heads out to shoot pool, where Goody pounces and asks him what he has to say. He tells her it doesn't matter, cause he's going home anyway. But then he tells her while he appreciates a lot of what she's done for him, he feels like she nitpicked too much, and it reminded him too much of his ex-girlfriend, and that's what made him used to go to the bar and drink. Okay, everyone got that? No? Well, whatever. All you really need to know is that it was never Joey's fault.

I missed that shot because my grandma was a bitch.

Goody tells him she feels bad that things she said were taken the wrong way, and she just wants to see him get better. "I'm going through a rough time right now," Meathead advises her. Don't interrupt Meat's rough waters with an oar, you got that, Goody? But Meat explains further. He's miserable. He's depressed. He doesn't want to be here anymore. Neither does anyone else want you to, Debbie Downer. Just go home, where you can peruse your yellow How Not To Relapse leaflet in peace.

Oh my. We're back at the Improv Olympics, and Prety Greg and his antics out of the picture, they're really moved on with this improv thing. It's now improv musical theater. "Vroom, vroom," they sing tonelessly, dressed in coordinated red sweatshirts. Where's Charna's gay sidekick when you need him? This wardrobe could use a little help. Someone grab the bedazzler.

And big news - there's a benefit concert at the Hard Rock Café, and they have invited Stripper to sing with the band! I think it's The Calling. I also think I know who they are, something like a pop rock thing, the type of tunes they play...well, the type of tunes they play on the Real World. I smell a crossover. Oh, and Stripper is delighted at the opportunity.

Dolt carefully jots down all these important plans in his Office Depot standard issue day planner. Goody, having had no choice but to abandon the Joey Project for the time being, has moved on to saving Stripper. "I want Bri so badly to, like, do something that will make her never want to, like, do the stripping thing again," she tells us earnestly. She can barely choke out the word "stripping".

I discovered The Falling. I mean The Calling. The Calling, right?

Stripper gets on the phone with her bestie Joey back in Philly, and gives him the news that while he's visiting that Friday - what was this, visiting week on the the Real World? - he will also be seeing her perform! Gay Bestie is a good friend, cause he's legitimately really excited for her. "You're becoming a star!" he tells her.

And now that everything's copasetic with Stripper, she's got a little to spare for old Meathead. She approaches him outside, where he's shooting hoops. Now she wants to know what's wrong. He tells her he's leaving, probably this weekend, and now she's all concerned about why. She says she'll feel bad if he leaves now, cause she sees so much potential. One gig at a restaurant chain that had it's moment, oh twenty or so years ago, and all of the sudden, she's the pro. Anyway, he leaves her saying he'll think about it.

Then it's time for Dolt to weigh in on the plight of Meathead. His turn is at the Improv Olympics. Did they make a schedule? Dolt basically tells Meat it's his decision, which I hate to admit, but was probably the best thing to say. He too will be bummed if Meat goes home. "Can I just have a glass of water?" Meat asks the bartender, while Dolt slurps down some vodka. And so, The Ballad of Meat continues - every day gets worse. Meat walks alone, deep in thought, puffing away on one of his girly little cigars.

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Posted in Real World by ChickBomb at 2:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: dancingqueenejb on Jun 17, 2008 09:53 PM.