It's nighttime in Hollywood, there's new roommates coming, and Blondie Kim wants a football player. You know Dave Dolt wants a cheerleader. That's why these two are perfect together. But Janelle - oh, that's right, Key West Janelle successfully has implanted herself as at least the unofficial new roommate - and Janelle doesn't like the idea of a new roommate at all.

"So you two are fine with two new people just coming into your space like that?" Janelle queries Dolt and Rick James Will. Classic Janelle, trying to bring in some drama (after all, she is a senior Real Worldie) but too immensely stupid to make it remotely interesting. But Dolt and Rick James nod thoughtfully anyway.

"I want a whore!" yells Brianna the Stripper, "I want a slut!" Loves it, doll, I do too! Give us something to make fun of, I'm bored with you and your meth. Blondie wants a "good 'ol southern boy". Why hasn't she met any guys in LA who like to drive their pickup trucks, drink SoCo and come home at night to their women and their belt? Where are the decent people?

"It could be a girl and a guy," wise, wise Janelle tells the boys inside. Rick James jumps on his bed possessively. Bottom line, no one knows what they're gonna get, and Dolt advises us that clearly the best course of action is to move Rick James into his room, for safety purposes. No one knows who these new people are, or where they've come from. Unlike Dolt, who is world-renowned. And also because "In case we don't like them, at least they're down the hall, away from us." Dolt explains. I hope he has an official meeting about it, where everyone can officially cast their Like / Don't Like vote.

I'm just hoping it's not another guy who wears gold lame t-shirts.

And Stripper's sticking to her wishes. She really wants a whore. Someone who will sleep with everyone in the house, she adds. Dolt will sleep with anyone, she basically tells Blondie, which was priceless, and Rick James would cheat on Janelle. "No," says Blondie firmly, "Will won't cheat on Janelle. I won't let him." This means Will is going to be cheating on Janelle.

So we see a little bit of the Rick James and Janelle love story. After all the drama with Prety Greg and Meathead Joey - and how I miss the dopey lug already. I'd love to hear about how much anxiety the new roommate would bring, and how it would be all the new roomie's fault for making him want to drink. Anyway, after all that crap, Rick is just looking forward to spending as much time with Janelle as possible. They go out to dinner, and Janelle teaches Rick James how to use chopsticks, because she is very sophisticated and worldly.

But they look like they're having fun. They dance on a star on the walk of fame. They walk and eat ice cream and laugh. The lyrics to the background music go, "I think I'm falling in love", just in case anyone didn't get it. And Rick James himself tells us how ridiculously bad he's got it for her. Oh, he is sooooo cheating on Janelle.

The next morning, they head over to the Improv Olympics to rehearse for that night's show. They sit in a circle and eat chips, while Charna catches up. Meat's gone, she confirms. Rick James tells her he's meeting a lot of people in the industry. Important people in the industry, he adds. Oh, well. Excuuuuuuse us. Blondie says that Rick has a girlfriend. Charna wants deets, but Rick declines. "I don't like talking about this stuff," he explains. Like most huge celebrities, Rick chooses to keep his private life private. This is very important to him while he is being filmed and televised on national TV.

All I can say is that I now know how to pick things up with sticks.

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Posted in Real World by ChickBomb at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: MichyPR on Jun 26, 2008 04:13 AM.