Welcome back to the Real World Hollywood! This week, what goes around comes back around to our resident Goody Two Shoes, and I have to say, it's probably the most enjoyable moment of Real World Hollywood yet. Well, with the exception of Meathead Joey's soliloquies. Yeah, still missing the big lug. But let's catch up with who's left.
Teehheeeeheheheeeee
We open with a phone call for Brianna the Stripper, and it's Alex Band, the guy she sang with at the Hard Rock Café last week. And guess what? He wants her to lay down the tracks for the actual record! Ahhh, Alex Band, you're no dummy. You've got to take that free publicity where you can get it. Stripper's thrilled, and goes dancing around the house yelling, "I'm gonna be famous, y'all!" Yup, that's all it takes. Better start planning that Grammy outfit.
She heads into the studio, and she sounds okay, but her lack of confidence and professionalism is evident. She sings a line, and then interrupts herself to ask Alex, "Was that right?" Alex kindly tells her to just keep going, while his friend over at the mixing board asks him what exactly is the point of Stripper's vocals? Free exposure. Now shut up and just get it on tape.
But then Miss Big Pants has to bust in and tell us that singing harmony isn't really that hard for her. Yes dear, we could tell by the hundred times you smoothed your plastic orange weave back that you are 100% comfortable with what you're doing. And the more she does it, the worse she's eating it. "It doesn't sound right to me," she laments after every take.
When in doubt, swallow the windscreen.
Of course, there's an excuse. I mean, very valid reason. "This isn't the kind of music I normally sing," she explains. Singing is singing, doll, you can do it or you can't. Alex, who's a big sweetheart, pretends to buy into the "not my thing" crap, and Stripper leaves the session telling him if he does a gospel song to definitely give her a call. Then she tells us that while she appreciates the opportunity, she's out here to do her thing, and she doesn't want to forget about that. And she shouldn't. Why take an opportunity, any opportunity, to record when the entire music biz is so easy to break into?
Waaaaaaay too easy.
That night, we're greeted with some funky music, which says to me...night out! It's at that place called Vice where they always hang out. By the way, the night we saw the Real World improv show, I finally found the place. It's right next to the Improv Olympics. Explains a lot. It's Stripper, the new girl Brittani, who I'm naming Horsey, and the new dude Nick. I'm going to call him Slick. Not cause he is, but cause he wants to be, and well, it rhymes. Moving on.
Slick picks up yet another skanky ho with miles and miles of yellow weave. Eh, it's Hollywood Blvd., that's pretty much the entire selection. Of course he takes her home, but not before giving her a warning that some people (Goody Sarah) like it quiet in the house, so she better keep it down while they're having their hot tub sex. Sure enough, we get a shot of Goody and Blondie Kim in their princess beds, while Slick asks his Ho du Jour if she would like to hit the confessional. Is he kidding? A trip to the confessional turns this little jaunt to the Real World house from bragging rights at the strip club to an actual line for the resume! Ho du Jour practically drags Slick up the stairs to the confessional room with glee.
Ho sits on Slick's lap and they talk nonsense for a minute, and then they hop into bed. Blondie's wide awake, bitching about how she's not doing improv with Slick, and she's going to tattle to Charna. What the hell's Charna going to do about it? Except now that she's offed one roommate who they hated, they think she's apt to do it again. Goody yells at Slick that if he and his friend are going to be talking, they need to do it outside. Silly priss, I highly doubt this weaved out tramp is there for conversation. But then Stripper steps in to tell Slick to keep it down, and he seems to acquiesce. He is still the new guy, you know.
Promises, promises.
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Comments (17)
Good Lord. Charna is not an mtv executive producer.
besides that, good recap. screen captures were especially on point.
i loved that Bri finally got her act together and her music sounded great.
1 of 17 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on June 30, 2008 10:04 AM
Good Recap! I too was cracking up a drunk Sara, she really needs to get over herself!
Next week they go on vacation and there was mention of a 4 way, can't wait!
2 of 17 | Posted by elledriver | Posted on June 30, 2008 10:30 AM
LMAO on the last screencap. You are so deliciously wrong Chickbomb.
Brianna's song is actually REALLY good. Nice to see her not only have a good set of pipes, but also come out with a good, solid song to go behind it. I can't listening to it! (It's on her myspace, youtube, iTunes). BTW, she didn't write it, but I still think its impressive.
3 of 17 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on June 30, 2008 12:55 PM
the worst part was when Slick was all upset about Brandon and he goes to tell sarah he is upset and he needs a hug and she totally ignores him and looks at him like he has the plague! and later when she tells blondie she is all fake upsest! she is so mean and fake!
4 of 17 | Posted by asny | Posted on June 30, 2008 1:17 PM
Nick is one my favorites in the house now. He is a really really nice guy, and it's crazy that Sarah doesn't like him for no reason at all! I wish i was in that house, i would make her days there a living hell.
I was crying when Brandon died.....it was sooo sad. And it was soo nice of him that he really wanted to help Nick with his career.
I think this is one of the best seasons of Real World. It's not all about hooking up like all the other seasons.
I wanted to tell a story...cuz i thought it was interesting, and something I just realized. Last october me and my friends went down to Hollywood to go to the club Highlands. While we were waiting in line we see a camera crew walking up with a few people in front, and I recognized one of them was Janelle from RW Key West and Will's g/f..now. So i'm telling my friends(kinda loud) 'That's Janelle from RW' And her friend heard me and said 'that's right!' Not in a mean way...she was kinda nice about it. But now that I think about it, i think that girl was Brianna. She was really light skinned and had really light hair. I don't remember what the other people looked like that was with them, but it could've been the other cast. That's why i was wondering why cameras were following Janelle? Now i realized cuz they were filming the Real World Hollywood cast and she happened to latch on to them.....and Brianna actually spoke to me! heheh...i'm a dork. i'm still waiting to see that footage though.
5 of 17 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on June 30, 2008 2:01 PM
I'm laughing at the last screencap that says "Hope no one we like dies, anyway" Even though I have no idea who that is and whether or not they are dead and if I am going to Hell on the slow train for laughing. I'm so confused. Who is it?Is she dead? Should I be laughing? Because if not, then I totally wasn't even though I totally was
6 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on June 30, 2008 2:55 PM
chickbomb,
i used to read your rock of love recaps all the time, and after reading my first real world recap, i can officially say i have missed you.
7 of 17 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on June 30, 2008 5:18 PM
hollagirl2: I'm pretty sure ChickBomb was referring to the fact that an MTV Executive Producer got Sarah the job at ThinkMtv, not Charna and her "infinite" connections.
I'm jumping on the bandwagon that Nick is one of my favorites. Although, I appreciated Sarah for sticking by Joey, it wasn't like she was changing her behavior, she was just going with the norm for her. She should break the norm because watching her puke on herself was hysterical.
8 of 17 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:17 PM
bentley 1101...
comment and response much appreciated. I just know it wasn't the MTV producers and it's sad that shows like this devalue some of the people that actually participate in it for the good of the real worlders.
not taking anything away from chickbomb's awesome recaps, it just sadly reminded me of her days when she used to refer to an "intern" who created drama... which undermines the fact the the Real World is actually reality (with editing)... amidst a bunch of scripted reality shows posing as such and therefore allowing such jokes. that's all.
so it's hard for me to appreciate such jabs knowing they don't apply in this case.
still read and love the recaps... everyone can't always be satisfied 100%
9 of 17 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on June 30, 2008 11:35 PM
hollagirl2, oh, please. You obviously work for RW/MTV and part of your job is to post here to defend the impeccable integrity of RW and its producers. You really expect us to believe it was a coincidence Sarah got placed with some obscure MTV web page after she blew it at the other job?
The Real World is entertainment, nothing more, and it is certainly not in any way "real". Get a bunch of self-absorbed idiots, stick them in a house where they don't have to earn a living and give them unlimited alcohol and that's "reality"? I suppose you also tell us that the producers don't stir things up in the confessional by asking the RW'ers certain questions and telling them what other people have said about them just to get them all stirred up?
"Deadliest Catch" is real. Watching the Real World is the equivalent of going to the zoo and watching the monkeys hump and throw poo at each other. Please spare us your propaganda in the future.
10 of 17 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:57 AM
"watching the monkeys hump and throw poo at each other".
That is exactly what watching the Real World is like. Too, too perfect.
As I was watching Brandon and hearing his story, I thought why doesn't MTV get seven nice, intelligent, inspirational strangers to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. I would watch.
11 of 17 | Posted by mmmmm | Posted on July 1, 2008 7:38 AM
JasonR.
no dumbass... i know Charna. And wouldn't you believe it, some people have jobs in Hollywood through connections?
Did it ever occur to you that's why they chose her as part of their job? Of course she hooked Sarah up with a job... that's part of her job and part of her value in putting her on the show.
But then again if we're playing by your rules they should have put some one like you on the show and then made it appear that you had connections... apparently that's how everything has to work, right?
and if you're watching The Real World in hopes of finding integrity, I pity you.. it is after all, a reality show. it's for fun.
12 of 17 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 1, 2008 8:50 AM
hollagirl2, first you say RW is "actually reality" which should be accorded so much more respect than other "scripted" reality shows, and then you say it's just for fun. Which is it? Usually only politicians backpedal so fast.
So you're telling me the fact that Sarah is a cast member on an MTV show had NOTHING to do with her getting a job . . . at MTV's website? Ok, sure. It was all Charna and her connections. She's a frigging Hollywood juggernaut. All bow before her.
13 of 17 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 1, 2008 10:11 AM
JasonR
obviously Sarah being on the Real World and therefore being set up with a job with someone who has connections in Hollywood got her the gig...
I'd pretty much say that's just common sense... and the point of having the show in Hollywood.
But alas, i'm tired of arguing with someone who only knows how to talk in circles.
enjoy the show and what's to come.
hmmm. maybe i am an mtv spy
getting paid loads of money my mtv to write propaganda about the show and encourage viewers.
good work sherlock. either way.. it's hilarious to rile people like you up...
at least you have some personality. marks for that, swordsman.
14 of 17 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:07 AM
Thank you for acknowledging my swordplay. Another satisfied customer ;)
15 of 17 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:42 AM
ahahah. satisfied? perhaps... i'll let you know when i'm impressed. :)
16 of 17 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 1, 2008 11:53 AM
chickbomb!
how could you not say more about the clown whore shirt? i almost fell over in shock and was sure that you would mention it. i am sure that the shirt was an homage to your rock of love recaps when you coined the term clown whore. you should be getting some royalties.
17 of 17 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on July 1, 2008 1:30 PM