Hey dolls, did you know there was a Real World Sydney Reunion Special? I didn't. After the finale aired, they showed a preview of The Gauntlet, so I just figured it was Parisa walking off in the sunshine, and we were done. But, no. MTV wants to rehash, and they want to take a whole damn hour to do it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I loved this season of the Real World. It had all the drinking, fighting and hook-ups that I look for in a reality show, But I made my peace with this thing when Marge walked away. I'm already prepping for the next one, Real World Hollywood. So if you're even considering complaining that I'm obviously over it, stop reading now. I am. I admit it. But if you want to see the claws, then by all means, read on!
The Real World Reunion is hosted by a pretty little Australian import named Lindsay, who surely hopped on a plane in hopes of parlaying this hosting gig into an American soap opera career.
Good luck with that.
We are reintroduced to the roommates. First is Trasha, who has taken the dual tone hair thing to a whole new level. It now literally looks like she has a blond wig planted on top of a black wig. She's not even trying to blend anymore, and she's rocking mall make-up. It's altogether hideous.
Thanks for coming to Spencer Gifts. Would you like to try to try a fart pillow?
Dumby's decked out in a button down shirt, gray zipped sweatshirt and of course, the ubiquitous southern frat boy trucker hat. Ashli is wearing an off the shoulder bright green sweater that looks about ten sizes too big for her. Parisa's now got bangs, and they work on her. She's wearing a cute dress, but at some point in this thing I notice that she's accessorized with white pumps. And hello, Marge. Isaac is wearing a black and orange t-shirt, with a matching black and orange cap. It matches. That's the nicest thing I can say about it. KA looks cute, and Cow looks the same. Oh, and Shauvon looks like a nineteenth century whore.
Love in the Time of Chlamydia: Coming Soon to DVD
First up on the hot seat are Dumby and Ash. Problem was, Dumby explains, there was a lot of frustration between them because they wanted to be with each other. Yeah, that's how you know a guy wants to be with you, when he starts telling you everyday that you're a bitch. And when he starts calling you a slut? Well, that's how you know it's really, truly love. But of course Ashli agrees that it was all unrequited love. Ashli's grown on me a little bit, but I'm positive that if Dumby turned to her and declared his undying love for her she'd go for it in a flash.
But anyway, now they're "cool". And then, Lindsay goes for the big question - are Dumby and Dunbar 's Girlfriend Julie still together (translated: has he successfully beaten her into not dumping his ass)? The answer is yes (translated: yes, it took triple belts, actually, but yes). In fact, they are living together (translated: he has her tied up in his basement). But it's "turbulent":
Translated: sometimes she escapes, and he has to buy stronger rope.
Lindsay, like any other thinking woman, wants to know what it is about Dumby that makes the girls go crazy? "It's called alcohol," Ashli informs her. Funny, but speak for yourself Kermit. As far as I'm concerned, there ain't enough whiskey on earth.
Next, Lindsay asks Parisa why she was so nice to Dumby when he was so mean to her. Why, because she had the hots for him, of course! But her excuse was that "he's been through a lot". Parisa's a sweetheart, and I hear that sentiment, but there's only so far you can take that hard luck story. No one's denying that getting diddled by your confederate Grandpa sucks, but Dumby needs to break the cycle.
Lindsay, who I now love because she thinks just like me, wonders if it was "sexual tension" between them. The crack production team backs up her assertion with a montage of Parisa rubbing sun tan lotion on Dumby's back, and a bunch of other blatant flirting. But Parisa adamantly denies it. No sexual tension, none at all, she insists. She swears she didn't want to kiss him. And she would know, cause her Mom's a psychiatrist. Say no more, Marge. Everyone knows children of shrinks are the most fucked up of all.
Still love the bangs, though.
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Comments (18)
Yeah.. I'm over it too.
Great recap.
Every single photo caption is hilarious!
Hate Trasha hair too, yes she needed to shut up, everything she and Shavoun, and KA, and Cow, oh hell everything they all said make themselves look like bigger asses.
1 of 18 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on January 24, 2008 8:35 AM
Thanks ChickBomb!
Couple things.
One, why the hell does Shauvon call herself a "girls girl" when she left everything (including her GIRLS) behind in Sydney to go back to an emotionally abusive BOYFRIEND who made an ultimatum to her? She's a nasty fake tramp. Put those gigantic silicone bags AWAY! They look hideous!!
Two, it seemed to me that KA was drunk. She was slurring a bit, acting somewhat schnakered. I don't have a problem with that, just thought she seemed the only one who was inebriated.
Three, good call on Trasha's wig. Man she just makes my skin crawl. Holier than thou, trashy, fake tan and fake hair wearing bitches just disgust me. She's a fake Christian who is happy to expound, but doesn't live by her own creed. Bullshit she's not homophobic or racist. It's all about appearances dear, and you forgot the cameras are ALWAYS rolling. Can't take back what was said while you were drunk and disorderly. Go back to church... or better yet, join a convent and rid the world of your filth.
It's been awhile since I've ever gotten so riled about the Real World's candidates for the representation of the generation. Shauvon, Trasha, Dumby and even Ashli make me nauseous. Is this the demographic? Are these people to be taken seriously or just playing the part for good TV? Angry twenty-somethings with no morals, big mouths, fake body parts, and so judgemental they can't see the forest for the trees.
2 of 18 | Posted by MargotTenenbaum | Posted on January 24, 2008 9:35 AM
I almost died when I saw trasha's hair and shavaun in general...SO FAKE! the tans, the hair, the boobs...I don't think it couldn't been worse. I'm so over everyone acting like BFF's at all of the reunions. Parisa should have admitted that Trasha is a bitch and she doesn't like her! I agree about Ashli (even though I don't mind her)..I think if Dumby wanted her she would be his gf in a second...
3 of 18 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on January 24, 2008 10:49 AM
Great recap, CB!
I have to call you out on one thing though. Trasha didn't say that the pushing incident was her fault. She said it was 50% her fault. That nasty heifer can't take responsibility for it even after all this time. She is a sad pitiful little whore... I mean Christian.
4 of 18 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on January 24, 2008 11:03 AM
My thoughts :
Kelly Anne completely backed out of the drama, knowing very well she was right with Trasha and Shauvon when they were attacking Parisa. And the whole spitting incident? I'm disappointed no one confronted her about that.
Shauvon looked like a fake, orange whore. And why the hell is she always taking about being a "girl's girl" when she left her "girls" for her dumb boyfriend. And surprise, surprise! They broke up because he's too controlling and they want different things in life. Exactly the reason she told us before she left. Idiot.
Trasha was trying to seem classy and respectful, since her "Christian" image was damaged in the show. How the hell was that whole McDonalds incident taken out of context? You're a racist sweetheart, and that's probably why she hated Parisa the whole time.
The host was really annoying. She put her opinions in way too much, and ended up instigating more. A host should bring up the issues, but not put her 2 cents in every 5 seconds. Who the hell is she anyways? I've never seen her in my life.
I'm not all surprised Julie and Dunbar are together.
All in all, the drama was entertaining in this season, but I didn't like anybody, except for Parisa, most of the time anyway.
5 of 18 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on January 24, 2008 11:08 AM
Ashli mildly annoyed me on the show but she was OB. NOX. on the reunion. She had a tardbaby comment on every f'ing thing, even things she wasn't there for. Peace OUT to this season. Ugh.
6 of 18 | Posted by emes1 | Posted on January 24, 2008 11:37 AM
"Well, one point for you, Mayflower Madam." LOL! Awesome. I know they tape the reunion, but I was still nervous the entire time that Shauvon was going to have a wardrobe malfunction. That shirt was not equipped to handle that pressure.
7 of 18 | Posted by heathie66 | Posted on January 24, 2008 11:43 AM
Ehh this interviewer may have been bad, but she's definately a step up from Susie Castillo! If you've watched the last few reunion shows you know what I'm talking about.
Shav is a dirty dirty ho and just needs to be dipped in a bucket of undiluted bleach. It might destroy what little brain cells she was born with, but I'm willing to sacrifice those if it stops the entire West Coast from getting syphyllis.
8 of 18 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on January 24, 2008 12:05 PM
I'm almost sorry I missed this season, if only for the trash. I may have to catch it on a marathon.
9 of 18 | Posted by Mandymax | Posted on January 24, 2008 12:18 PM
Trash wants to have it both ways: She wants to claim Alex as her guy and she wants to pretend that she was faithful. She apparantly thinks it's not "making out" unless there was tongue-tonsil contact. What a liar! The host didn't ask the most pertinent question of how fast did Jarod dump her hateful lying ass.
Parisa may not really want to bond over lattes now, but unlike Trasha, she's moved on. I imagine she has a fun life and actual supportive friends in NYC. Staying mad at someone who has no class and no remorse doesn't help her.
10 of 18 | Posted by dorian | Posted on January 24, 2008 2:19 PM
Truly ironic that Shauvon considers herself and Trasha "girl's girls" as other posters have pointed out. So supportive of the sisterhood to spread false gossip and attack other females!
I always thought the real reason Shauvon attacked Parisa for being "down for the guys" was that the girls in the house couldn't succeed in isolating and punishing her if she had other friends.
11 of 18 | Posted by dorian | Posted on January 24, 2008 2:33 PM
I'm over Sydney too...but your screencaps were funny!
Parisa posts on the TelevisionWithoutPity forums, in case anyone cares.
12 of 18 | Posted by serjen | Posted on January 24, 2008 4:58 PM
why isn't anyone pointing out that shavon gained weight or looks bloated, in addition to those shiny breast bags :)
13 of 18 | Posted by nflow | Posted on January 24, 2008 6:40 PM
Ooh I noticed too nflow. Her face definately shows a few new chins.
14 of 18 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on January 24, 2008 6:47 PM
Just wanted to post that Shauvon looked fatter and uglier. I can't believe that girl got offended that somebody called her a 6 I mean I'd give her a 3 and that's being generous. I ♥ Parisa's new look, she looks good. Dunbar also looked fatter and uglier eww and with more acne. I remember thinking while watching the KA-Cow thing how KA kept saying they were together and Cow kept evading the question and getting the crazy eyes from KA...
15 of 18 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on January 24, 2008 10:28 PM
Dumbar looked pale, clammy, and ill. Almost like he came from the set of a horror film where his character had been locked in a dungeon for a while.
16 of 18 | Posted by putigger | Posted on January 27, 2008 10:34 AM
I don't understand taht part where Trisha and KA are walking together, are they saying that Parisa and Dunbar hooked up? And that they are telling the truth? Did anyone else understand what they were saying?
17 of 18 | Posted by seraphmoon | Posted on January 27, 2008 8:43 PM
Hate to say it, but Trisha and Shauvon looks like pr0n stars....yech.
18 of 18 | Posted by benzaiten | Posted on January 27, 2008 8:50 PM