This week's show started off at a non-Monarck bar where we saw Stephen talking to some girls for what appeared to be the first time ever. We haven't seen much of his flirtatious side because a) he's usually at church and denouncing the day of the devil and whatnot, and b) he apparently has a girlfriend named Mercii (the extra "i" is for "Individual!"). Well, since Stephen clearly didn't have enough faith in his faithfulness, he asked Jenn to watch out for him, make sure he didn't do anything to jeopardize his relationship with Mercii. And honestly, nothing says love like when you need the house drunkard to keep you from cheating.

Well, say what you will for Jenn, but she turned out to be a rock solid cockblock, effectively ending any sort of romantic interaction between Stephen and the skanks at every turn. While she contributed to Stephen's chronic case of blue balls, Brooke meanwhile dealt with her own case of sexual frustration. She informed us that "Davis and I both have a very flirty relationship," which was peculiar considering that she was straight and he was, you know, gay. Nevertheless, she seemed like she wanted to jump his bones, and it might not have been such an unreasonable demand. After all, the last time Davis had sex with a woman was only three months prior. I didn't really understand why he had sex with a girl -- seemed very non-gay, at least definition-wise -- but this seemed to turn Brooke on, even though she claimed it didn't. Nevertheless, under the watchful eye of Jenn, who was dressed like she was about to hit up an S&M convention, Brooke and Davis flirted and and poked and prodded each other, a situation that was both annoying and bizarre. Surely nothing would come of it, but we knew that Davis would continue to tease Brooke with his sexuality, only because the attention was clearly too intoxicating for him. Eh. Boring.

Speaking of boring, Stephen later called up Mercii and announced that the craziest thing happened to him at the club. "Some girl kissed me tonight!" he proclaimed, adding, "Yes, she kissed me when I just so happened to fall over and press my lips against hers!" Good save, Stephen. Your political career is intact!

The next night, order was restored to the Real World universe as the kids headed back to favorite bar Monarck for more fun times. Alex revealed to us that the most flirtatious guy in the house was actually Stephen, and the next thing we knew, we saw both guys holding hands with girls, taking them back to their palace of hedonism. Ever the thoughtful judge of character, Stephen explained to us, "These girls that we bring home, they're just, I don't know, I would call them groupies." Yes, I'm sure your future constituents will love your callous objectification! And by the way, I know most people who return to the manse are through-and-through fame whores, but groupies? These new generations of Real Worlders really need to stop with the inflated sense of importance.

Nevertheless, Stephen took his new honey into the backyard and tried to impress her with his Michael Jordan moves. "I can dunk too, you know!" he bragged as he jumped up to the basket... and missed by a good foot or two. Suddenly, amidst all this excitement, the phone rang. Alex pulled away from the trollop he was sucking face with and answered the call. Sure enough, it was Mercii. UH OH!