This week's show started with Brooke fretting about another upcoming Outward Bound camping trip, noting how the last one was "the worst five days of my life." I feel you, sister. It wasn't any better for those of us watching at home. Conveniently, as the excursion drew near, Brooke managed to "sprain" her ankle, which meant she surely couldn't go hiking, yes? She probably only had a mosquito bite, but considering that she was the biggest drama queen in the house (SHE'S IN HELL!!!!), I was surprised she didn't announce that her leg needed to be amputated on account of gangrene.

Meanwhile, self-professed kissing-slut Colie revealed that she had a kind of boyfriend at home. His name was Corey, and they had been dating right up until she moved to Denver. Even though they were exes, they still had feelings for each other, but they were nothing compared to the lusty impulses Colie reserved for Adam, the Outward Bound logistical coordinator with whom she spent the day during her mono quarantine in the Rockies. Yes, Colie still wanted to jump his bones, mostly because it would probably be a wise investment. "I think I'm attracted to Adam being ambitious and becoming a doctor," she revealed, adding, "That's right: I'm a shameless gold digger."

Unfortunately for Colie, Adam wasn't allowed to hang out with her. Heck, he couldn't even speak to her. Chris had apparently imposed a draconian rule that members of his staff were not to fraternize with slutty idiots. How cruel! Struggling in this modern day Montague and Capulet bind, Colie told Adam, "I feel horrible for putting you in this situation." She then added, "And yet, I will continue to do so."

Okay, she didn't say that last part, but Colie did complain endlessly to Alex and Davis, the latter of whom was lucky enough to simply walk away into the ghetto infested areas that had once terrorized poor Brooke. Alex, however, was not so blessed, and so he had to listen to Colie yap on and on about how she and Adam were adults and their love was true and they couldn't be kept apart -- or something like that. At one point, Tyree joined them, and he noted that professionally, it probably wouldn't be so smart for Colie and Adam to hook up (stop being so "mature," Tyree!). Eventually, Alex reached his saturation point and simply asked, "Why don't we just talk about serious stuff?" Huh? On The Real World? Oh, you funny, Alex!

Back at the house, Brooke called her dad to alert him of her sprained ankle, and he merely brushed it off, saying, "That's nothing." Yeah... but... but... it's sprained, Dad! In the immortal words of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, parents just don't understand. Brooke then went to the doctor and returned to the house with none other than a note exempting her from work for seven days. No running, no hiking, etc. It kind of reminded me of when I was in middle school, and I was forced to play lacrosse by school policy; so I magically found some way to get sick and skip out of it. Of course, that's when I was in middle school, not when I was a 22 year old college graduate.

After the break, we found Stephen packing, saying how his grandpa told him to man up and go on the camping trip -- as if there were any other option. "You was going anyway!" Tyree replied. Exactly.

"I'm from the city, man!" Stephen then said as he rolled up the two smallest socks ever. Does he wear booties? Because that would be odd.

Later, the gang headed over to Wild Oats to buy food for the trip. Tyree was the group's food manager, which meant he was in charge of the whole operation. Fascinating.