Recap: The Real World: Climb Every Mountain!

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Oy. Another Real World episode that takes place almost entirely in the mountains. If you haven't seen it yet, I'll spare you the pain. Here's what basically happened: Alex, Tyree, Colie, and Jenn hiked around a lot; Tyree got asthma; Tyree stopped hiking; Tyree bitched at Raleigh; the rest of the gang continued hiking; everyone reached the summit of a mountain; Jenn yelled "Rock Star"; Davis rejoined the group; Brooke went to a spa; Stephen convinced himself he wasn't healthy enough to climb; meals were eaten at Old Spaghetti Factory and Subway; and no one, despite Colie's fears, fell off a mountain. Oh, and the girls got mad at Brooke for wearing a bathing suit.

That's it in a nutshell. But I guess we could go over it again with some details. Recap after the jump!

This week's episode began high in the Rocky Mountains where Alex, Tyree, Jenn, and Colie continued to participate in Outward Bound training.

Aaaaand I'm asleep.

Okay, just joshing. I somehow stayed awake to watch all sorts of exciting things, like Raleigh warning the kids to drink a lot of water now because there wouldn't be much later. Hmmm... might someone get dehydrated?

Well, soon the gang was off and hiking, which meant it took about .3 seconds before the complaining set in. Oh, the bags! The steep grade! The thinning air! Meanwhile, they didn't seem to notice the poor camera men, lugging their heavy equipment without saying a peep. The best part of all this, however, was that Colie then came on screen and bemoaned that the hike was going to take two and a half hours. Yes, a mere 150 minutes. Again, I'm no master of the wild, but when I went on my pre-orientation camping trip for college, we were trekking along for at least six to eight hours a day. Get over it and shut up.

Of course, there was no way they'd get over it and shut up. Next Jenn joined the peanut gallery, complaining, "It's stupid. I don't know why we have to hike so far. I don't know why we have to go so high. I don't understand what's so fascinating about going 11,000 feet or whatever." She then added, "How are we supposed to have a meaningful experience without alcohol involved. It just makes no sense!"

Okay, she didn't say that, but I did agree with her on one point: this wasn't fascinating at all. At least, not in the context of a show like The Real World. However, maybe it was all worth it, just to see Colie break down and cry like a baby. "Why we running up there?" she whined. "I can't breathe!"


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"I miss my perm!"

Everyone's mood quickly changed, however, when they reached a patch of snow. Everyone's inner child came out, and soon all the kids were cavorting and sliding arouond, acting as if they hadn't just been skiing three or four episodes ago.

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Ooh! A symbolic deer in the distance! How very The Queen!

While the hikers developed a tight, snow-based bond, our three slackers in Denver were living it up, going out for a fancy dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory. The producers then quickly cut back and forth from Stephen, Davis, and Brooke acting silly and joyful to Alex, Tyree, Jenn, and Colie struggling resolutely through the Rocky Mountain terrain. Don't you get it? The spoiled brats like Brooke think they have it so hard, but they don't have it hard at all. What an astounding point!

Anyway, the hikers weren't very happy with the others, and Jenn told us, "I think our roommates are probably eating some gourmet diner." Well, they were certainly eating dinner. I don't know if The Old Spaghetti Factory qualified as gourmet. Personally, I was shocked that we didn't see Danny and Melinda sitting at the next table, with Danny saying, "This spaghetti is wicked awesome."

Later, we found the trio of non-hikers settling into the hot tub, which seemed strikingly uncharacteristic for a germaphobe like Brooke. Nothing says healthy like simmering in a vat of your sick roommates' germs!

Back on the mountain the next morning, Tyree began to struggle in the cold air. He came to a full stop, bent over and wheezed. Turns out he couldn't breathe. Oh no! What would happen???

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Recap: The Real World: Climb Every Mountain! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3 

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Comments (28)

Junzilla Author Profile Page:

Great recap B-Side.

I adore Brooke. She is the only one with half a brain and at least says what we are thinking.

The last screencap was hilarious.

mangos Author Profile Page:

Wow how did you see it already? Do they play the new episodes in the afternoon and again at night??

Maybe I should JUST read the recap. We all know how exciting the Outward Bound episodes are.

jasminetheawesome Author Profile Page:

I hate Brook a little less than Colie and Jen. Everybody suck.

Tweezers Author Profile Page:

Wait- which ankle is the fake sprain?

CDob Author Profile Page:

Dude, I love your recaps, but you don't have to say "Okay, they didn't really say that..." all the time. We know.

Rock Star Author Profile Page:

B-side, I totally disagree with you that Brooke is cute. Or funny. I hate her. I mean, as much as one can hate someone that you only see for half an hour on TV a week. Out of all the girls, I think the one I would be friends with is Jenn, and I would say "stop drinking so much" because she actually seems like an intelligent and coherent person when she's not inebriated. Wow, I'm really tired. Good recap tho!

roleepolee Author Profile Page:

If B-side doesn't mention "Okay, they didn't really say that" after each statement from the cast, the people who hasnt seen the show would be puzzled. If you haven't noticed, these people are crazy and stupid, especially Colie. You never know what kind of incoherent, nonsense bullshit you'll hear from her on the next episode, so it does help when B-side says he's only joking.

The only thing worth mentioning on this week's episode, was the end where Amy Lee and Korn sings 'Freak on a Leash'. How awesome was that. Amy Lee is a great singer...Other than that, this has got to be the most boring episode of Real World I have ever seen. What's so great about watching these guys hike? Yeah, it's fun and rewarding, for THEM. Not for the viewers who only want to see what other crazy things they would be doing in the house when they're drunk. We have yet to see Alex, Brooke, and Stephen act a fool. (although from looking at next week's preview, Alex brings home a girl and makes Colie cry. That should be fun.)

Finally, people are admiting Brooke is great. B-side said it perfectly. How can you not like Brooke? (unless you're a girl. I guess she can be annoying if you're not into her looks+quirky behavior). I know you all are tired of hearing me talk about Brooke, but she is genuine, in my opinion. What you see is what you get with her. She seems like a kind person, who doesn't try to be nice. Just natural. Without her, I wouldn't be watching this show.

Veronica De Bellegarde Author Profile Page:

Is there such a thing as a "trouser phobia"? If there is, Brooke definitely has it.

The girl hikes in her underpants and I don't remember ever seeing her in long(er) pants of any kind.

When she was walking with Davis and Stephen, they were wearing long pants and jackets and she had on a tank and the short shorts, per usual. What's up with that?

Combined with the infamous wiping herself incident, I think she's quite the exhibitionist.

dmbislove Author Profile Page:

I don't think there is anyone on this show that I can say I like or would want to talk to in person, except for maybe Tyrie and Davis and I can't stress that maybe enough. Colie is annoying and she needs a Ricola and a hair straightener (the perm look has got to go). Jen is ok when she is sober, but still pretty annoying. And my boyfriend and I make fun of the way she dances all the time, you know when she starts whipping her head all around? Alex thinks he is cuter than he really is. Stephen just gets on my nerves, I can't quite put my finger on why yet. And then there is Brooke... she is not cute and she whines too much. Why would you even come on this show, when you know you're going to have to have a job and actually work? I would hate to see any of these people in the REAL Real World because they act like such spoiled brats. I don't even think it's just the fact that it's camping, I honestly think she would act that way no matter what kind of job they had.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm bored at work :-)

mom_to_travis Author Profile Page:

"I miss my perm"....Damn, you made me spit my coffee out with that one, LOL.

Prissy idiot princess? Or hilarious idiot princess? Oh, she's all that! She really is barking mad, which makes for very good tv.

And wow, didn't all that hiking look fun?

mandymax Author Profile Page:

I wish MTV would do a series called "Real Worlders: Where Are They Now?" and catch up with each cast member ten years after their respective season, when they have real jobs and real responsibilities and are expected to be productive members of society. I'd give anything to see these kids wrangle with that.

imhere4beer Author Profile Page:

Did anyone else notice that Brooke is constantly high as a kite?? Her eyes are always droopy and she can never enunciate her words properly. All that anti-depressant or anti-psychotic or anti-trouser medication her shrink has prescribed has some seriously visible effects!!

MTV4ME Author Profile Page:

Brooke is genuine? Please, if this girl was as "genuine" as you say, wouldn't she own up to the fact that the Outward Bound crap isn't for her and quit? Cause it might end her stint on the show?? Huh, I wonder.

Wearing heels with an ankle brace speaks volumes about what an absolute imbecile that girl is.

That being said, she does make this show watchable. I could care less, but want to see what Brooke will do or say next.

tvaholic Author Profile Page:

I don't know about anyone else, but when I sprained my ankle the whole area was black & blue for a couple of weeks. When I saw the pic of Brooke getting the pedi I noticed there was absolutely no discoloration. Maybe she should look up injuries on WebMd before she attempts to fake them.

srh Author Profile Page:

"And then I'll get them drunk and have sex with each and every one of them!"

ahahaha that made laugh out loud litterally....thanx for the great recap.

and about Brooke, I think she makes the show all that much more enjoyable, even if she does some stupid stuff, it still makes the show entertaining.

deadeyes Author Profile Page:

Mandymax (#11)-- they do have a show like that-- Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and 90% of them are still unemployed fame whores 10 years later.

Rock Star Author Profile Page:

#16, I have to disagree with that. I would also like to see a special on the Bunim/Murray alumni, because the majority of them are not competing on the challenges and rejoined society without trying to make the most of their 15 minutes. In fact, I'd say most of the seasons had worthwhile people who I genuinely would like to see where they are. I'd say that Las Vegas kicked off the beginning of the debauchery that has become The Real World. By the way, is tvgasm going to get anyone to recap Top Design? I watched it yesterday. It was good, and filled with petty, queeny drama.

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict Author Profile Page:

Raleigh sucks, what was her deal about showing Tyrie how to use an inhaler?

Uhhmmm... You stick it in your mouth, depress it and inhale. There really isn't any trick to it. And having asthma in a high altitude without any time to really adjust would suck - you know, due to the DOUBLE lack of oxygen.

Still hate Tyrie though...

Brooke cracks me up. Sprained ankle... hahahaha! She should have gone for an administrative position claiming a pulled back. That ankle is not sprained, even a light sprain makes heels of any type massively uncomfortable.

Colie drives me up the wall, she looks like the type of person that has funky coffee-penicillin breath - ALL THE TIME! She is also a real dog, arf arf!

roleepolee Author Profile Page:

#12: "anti-trouser medication", that was hilarious...

#13: Brooke made it obvious that her injury is fake, can't you tell? She even told the cast that she would rather die than go back. I think Brooke would have been kicked out of the Real World house if she stayed home and said she doesn't want to do it just because. That would be a damn shame cause, as you said, she makes this show watchable....I must agree though, walking around with the brace in heels is a little insane, but it's great television compared to watching people hike all day, and Ty whining like a little baby cause he doesn't know how to use a inhaler, how rude and stubborn can he be? Raleigh just wanted to help him get better, but he's too arrogant to receive advice. No wonder no one cared about him and kept walking when he stopped to rest.

roleepolee Author Profile Page:

"She is also a real dog, arf arf!" - That was hilarious, and I can't agree with you more.

antebellum Author Profile Page:

I started trying to watch this episode, and holyshit, it was the most boring five minutes I think I've ever seen. I gave up after that. It really is only entertaining when they're drunk and fighting (or straight up crazy like Brooke). Although I think I would enjoy their job. You have to really have a feel for that outdoorsy stuff though; if you don't, hiking that much would be a pain in the ass. Especially at that high altitude.

I would watch that RW: Where Are They Now? I miss Jacquese. We only saw him for one episode of the Challenge a few seasons back.

Ms. Fred Author Profile Page:

I realize I'm a bit ahead (previews of next week, ahead), but if I have to see Colie's giant , gaping, crying mouth ONE more time...ok I won't do anything but DAMN! You freakin' baby!!! And what is this SHIT (can I say that here?) with her getting upset about Alex bringing someone home? Wasn't she just prancing through the house shouting at the top of her giant, gaping lungs about Adam? And hello, what about the time she bedded that albino beast in like episode 2?? Hate. Hate. Hate.

As for Brooke, totally worthless as a human. At least there's not much chance of her signing up for a Challenge. Hee. Loved the shaved down, bedazzled ankle brace. Idiot.

Man. This show makes me mean :(

BooBooKitty Author Profile Page:

Yeah....I sprained my ankle pretty badly a couple of years ago at my best friends bachelorette party. Let me tell you that #1 my WHOLE foot swelled up like an elephants foot, #2 I had to crawl to go to the bathroom I was in so much pain, #3 I could not drive ( as it happened to my right foot), let alone walk anywhere for a good week. And to top it all off, I had to walk down the isle the next week with an air cast, and could not wear my pretty new heals that I bought for the wedding.

Brook is a moron, and at the most twisted her ankle and milked it for all its worth. Really buck up bitch and go on the damn hike. Its not the fact that she indulged in the truth a bit, its the fact that she tried to justify her actions by bitching and moaning the entire time she was home, and then went to the spa, in high heels....it just makes me want to slap her and make her GROW UP!!

jozeyg Author Profile Page:

roleepolee--Tyrie wasn't whining because he didn't know how to use an inhaler. He knows how to use one, he's been using one for 12 years. He was just getting upset because Raleigh was trying to teach him how to it. That would've annoyed the hell out of me too. Something about Raleigh bugs me.

I do too want to slap Brooke. I think she's a skank. All she does is walk around in short shorts and heels. She has a 'i'm too good for this' attitude about everything.

MtvMakesMeSmokeCrack Author Profile Page:

Cmon you guys lay off Brooke she is just a product of several generations of inbreeding..y'all..Colie is the real mental case!!!

McCreamy Author Profile Page:

LOL Mrs Fred you are about as funny as B-side! great recap, cant wait for next week!

cbgb Author Profile Page:

"Upon discovering that advances in technology now allow gates to open and close, Jenn flashes her trademark "Rock Star!" hands."
I died reading this caption, too funny!!!

Brooke & Colie annoy me more and more each week.

Does anyone agree that Colie's very self-absorbed? It just seems like she's one of those people who likes to talk about herself all the time and what she's done and is doing.

I agree that Jen is tolerable when she's sober.

Stephen's an idiot too. Now I really can't stand the guy. He seems like one of those people who thinks that he's really cool, but comes off as a major nerd.

sweetleaf Author Profile Page:

Ahhhh Hahahah so true. I just read the first paragraph of this recap, and wished I hadn't wasted my time watching this crap the other day!

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