After the commercial break, we returned to the mountain where Tyree continued to struggle with his asthma (he's so the Jerome Bettis of MTV). He managed to get his breathing under control a little, enough so he could bark at Raleigh, who tried to give him some pointers on how to improve his inhaler skills. He didn't really appreciate her advice, considering that he'd been using an inhaler for twelve years and didn't want to look stupid (which was probably a moot point by virtue of him being on this show in the first place). Anyway, Ty told their boss, Chris, that he had reached his physical limit -- he had to stop. Chris was fine with this but then noted that he was concerned about the overall health of the group. After all, he'd had fifteen year olds who could run these roommates into the ground. True, but is it fair to compare fifteen year olds to Real World stars? I tend to think most early teens probably don't spend their days intravenously hooked up to vats of red wine and beer.
Back at the mansion, while Brooke horsed around and pretended to be pregnant, Davis called a woman at Outward Bound and made plans to meet up with the rest of the group the next day. Oh, how intrepid of him. Brooke, on the other hand, was going to nurse her dubiously sprained ankle by heading to a spa for a facial, a manicure, a massage, and a haircut. Sounded lovely. Let's just hope she doesn't accidentally wind up in the ghetto. SHE'LL BE IN HELL!!!!
We then went back to the mountainside where Tyree announced that he would not be participating in the next day's hike. Jenn and Colie, meanwhile, resolved to stop complaining and being idiots. We'll see how long that lasts.
Later, Davis tried to convince Stephen to join him the next day in going back up into the mountains, but Stephen felt he wasn't up to it yet. He still needed time to get over his fake illness. It didn't help that Brooke was a total enabler, telling him that if he wasn't ready to go back, he shouldn't go back. The camera then zoomed into Stephen's pea-head, and we were left to wonder what he might do. Oh, how pressing. I'm glad this episode wasn't a two-parter, otherwise I might have spent many a restless night pondering Stephen's dilemma!
Well, the next morning, Davis woke up at the butt crack of dawn and headed up to the mountains all alone (surprise, surprise). What he didn't realize was that most of the hikers wouldn't even be there when he arrived because they were waking up super early too for their day hike. Now down to just Alex, Colie, and Jenn (the original triad of sluttiness), the gang decided to take a rigorous path to the top of the mountain. Colie babbled to us about how this was her biggest challenge, and as she climbed higher and higher, it dawned on her that "I'm not attached to this mountain. I Could fall off at any moment." PLEASE DO.
Sure enough, Colie stumbled and boom! We went to commercial. A literal cliffhanger!
Of course, it wasn't particularly exciting for us since we knew when we came back from commercial, Colie would just be dusting off her knees and back to work. It's not like we'd then see her plummeting to her death like that girl in the opening scene of Cliffhanger. Oh, did I ruin that?
Back at camp, Davis showed up and was slightly sad to see the place empty. Ah, but it wasn't empty! There was Tyree! Hugs were exchanged (sans n-word, which was nice), and then we headed back up the mountain where the kids were about to reach the summit.
"I wanted to be the first one on that peak!" Colie told us. Too bad the camera man beat you too it. HA! Sucker!
Well, Colie got her moment on top of the world, and after her was Jenn who stood proudly at the summit and yelled, "That is fuckin' ROCK STAR, DUDE!" For the love of all things peaceful, SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THAT STUPID MOTTO! Can you not ruin one triumphant moment with your inane, drunk-girl proclamations?
Meanwhile, down in Denver, Brooke donned her stilettos, short shorts, and ankle brace and waltzed over to the spa. She told us how encumbered she was by this physical ailment of hers, saying, "It's quite a nuisance!" Yes, all those fools struggling with thin air and steep terrain really have no appreciation for her plight.
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Comments (28)
Great recap B-Side.
I adore Brooke. She is the only one with half a brain and at least says what we are thinking.
The last screencap was hilarious.
1 of 28 | Posted by Junzilla
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Posted on January 31, 2007 4:25 PM
Wow how did you see it already? Do they play the new episodes in the afternoon and again at night??
Maybe I should JUST read the recap. We all know how exciting the Outward Bound episodes are.
2 of 28 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on January 31, 2007 4:43 PM
I hate Brook a little less than Colie and Jen. Everybody suck.
3 of 28 | Posted by jasminetheawesome
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Posted on January 31, 2007 5:23 PM
Wait- which ankle is the fake sprain?
4 of 28 | Posted by Tweezers
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Posted on January 31, 2007 7:35 PM
Dude, I love your recaps, but you don't have to say "Okay, they didn't really say that..." all the time. We know.
5 of 28 | Posted by CDob
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Posted on January 31, 2007 7:36 PM
B-side, I totally disagree with you that Brooke is cute. Or funny. I hate her. I mean, as much as one can hate someone that you only see for half an hour on TV a week. Out of all the girls, I think the one I would be friends with is Jenn, and I would say "stop drinking so much" because she actually seems like an intelligent and coherent person when she's not inebriated. Wow, I'm really tired. Good recap tho!
6 of 28 | Posted by Rock Star
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Posted on January 31, 2007 9:27 PM
If B-side doesn't mention "Okay, they didn't really say that" after each statement from the cast, the people who hasnt seen the show would be puzzled. If you haven't noticed, these people are crazy and stupid, especially Colie. You never know what kind of incoherent, nonsense bullshit you'll hear from her on the next episode, so it does help when B-side says he's only joking.
The only thing worth mentioning on this week's episode, was the end where Amy Lee and Korn sings 'Freak on a Leash'. How awesome was that. Amy Lee is a great singer...Other than that, this has got to be the most boring episode of Real World I have ever seen. What's so great about watching these guys hike? Yeah, it's fun and rewarding, for THEM. Not for the viewers who only want to see what other crazy things they would be doing in the house when they're drunk. We have yet to see Alex, Brooke, and Stephen act a fool. (although from looking at next week's preview, Alex brings home a girl and makes Colie cry. That should be fun.)
Finally, people are admiting Brooke is great. B-side said it perfectly. How can you not like Brooke? (unless you're a girl. I guess she can be annoying if you're not into her looks+quirky behavior). I know you all are tired of hearing me talk about Brooke, but she is genuine, in my opinion. What you see is what you get with her. She seems like a kind person, who doesn't try to be nice. Just natural. Without her, I wouldn't be watching this show.
7 of 28 | Posted by roleepolee
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Posted on January 31, 2007 11:02 PM
Is there such a thing as a "trouser phobia"? If there is, Brooke definitely has it.
The girl hikes in her underpants and I don't remember ever seeing her in long(er) pants of any kind.
When she was walking with Davis and Stephen, they were wearing long pants and jackets and she had on a tank and the short shorts, per usual. What's up with that?
Combined with the infamous wiping herself incident, I think she's quite the exhibitionist.
8 of 28 | Posted by Veronica De Bellegarde
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Posted on February 1, 2007 6:51 AM
I don't think there is anyone on this show that I can say I like or would want to talk to in person, except for maybe Tyrie and Davis and I can't stress that maybe enough. Colie is annoying and she needs a Ricola and a hair straightener (the perm look has got to go). Jen is ok when she is sober, but still pretty annoying. And my boyfriend and I make fun of the way she dances all the time, you know when she starts whipping her head all around? Alex thinks he is cuter than he really is. Stephen just gets on my nerves, I can't quite put my finger on why yet. And then there is Brooke... she is not cute and she whines too much. Why would you even come on this show, when you know you're going to have to have a job and actually work? I would hate to see any of these people in the REAL Real World because they act like such spoiled brats. I don't even think it's just the fact that it's camping, I honestly think she would act that way no matter what kind of job they had.
Sorry for the rant, but I'm bored at work :-)
9 of 28 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on February 1, 2007 7:00 AM
"I miss my perm"....Damn, you made me spit my coffee out with that one, LOL.
Prissy idiot princess? Or hilarious idiot princess? Oh, she's all that! She really is barking mad, which makes for very good tv.
And wow, didn't all that hiking look fun?
10 of 28 | Posted by mom_to_travis
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Posted on February 1, 2007 7:33 AM
I wish MTV would do a series called "Real Worlders: Where Are They Now?" and catch up with each cast member ten years after their respective season, when they have real jobs and real responsibilities and are expected to be productive members of society. I'd give anything to see these kids wrangle with that.
11 of 28 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on February 1, 2007 8:14 AM
Did anyone else notice that Brooke is constantly high as a kite?? Her eyes are always droopy and she can never enunciate her words properly. All that anti-depressant or anti-psychotic or anti-trouser medication her shrink has prescribed has some seriously visible effects!!
12 of 28 | Posted by imhere4beer
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Posted on February 1, 2007 10:05 AM
Brooke is genuine? Please, if this girl was as "genuine" as you say, wouldn't she own up to the fact that the Outward Bound crap isn't for her and quit? Cause it might end her stint on the show?? Huh, I wonder.
Wearing heels with an ankle brace speaks volumes about what an absolute imbecile that girl is.
That being said, she does make this show watchable. I could care less, but want to see what Brooke will do or say next.
13 of 28 | Posted by MTV4ME
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:03 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but when I sprained my ankle the whole area was black & blue for a couple of weeks. When I saw the pic of Brooke getting the pedi I noticed there was absolutely no discoloration. Maybe she should look up injuries on WebMd before she attempts to fake them.
14 of 28 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:23 AM
"And then I'll get them drunk and have sex with each and every one of them!"
ahahaha that made laugh out loud litterally....thanx for the great recap.
and about Brooke, I think she makes the show all that much more enjoyable, even if she does some stupid stuff, it still makes the show entertaining.
15 of 28 | Posted by srh
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:44 AM
Mandymax (#11)-- they do have a show like that-- Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and 90% of them are still unemployed fame whores 10 years later.
16 of 28 | Posted by deadeyes
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:52 AM
#16, I have to disagree with that. I would also like to see a special on the Bunim/Murray alumni, because the majority of them are not competing on the challenges and rejoined society without trying to make the most of their 15 minutes. In fact, I'd say most of the seasons had worthwhile people who I genuinely would like to see where they are. I'd say that Las Vegas kicked off the beginning of the debauchery that has become The Real World. By the way, is tvgasm going to get anyone to recap Top Design? I watched it yesterday. It was good, and filled with petty, queeny drama.
17 of 28 | Posted by Rock Star
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Posted on February 1, 2007 12:03 PM
Raleigh sucks, what was her deal about showing Tyrie how to use an inhaler?
Uhhmmm... You stick it in your mouth, depress it and inhale. There really isn't any trick to it. And having asthma in a high altitude without any time to really adjust would suck - you know, due to the DOUBLE lack of oxygen.
Still hate Tyrie though...
Brooke cracks me up. Sprained ankle... hahahaha! She should have gone for an administrative position claiming a pulled back. That ankle is not sprained, even a light sprain makes heels of any type massively uncomfortable.
Colie drives me up the wall, she looks like the type of person that has funky coffee-penicillin breath - ALL THE TIME! She is also a real dog, arf arf!
18 of 28 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
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Posted on February 1, 2007 1:47 PM
#12: "anti-trouser medication", that was hilarious...
#13: Brooke made it obvious that her injury is fake, can't you tell? She even told the cast that she would rather die than go back. I think Brooke would have been kicked out of the Real World house if she stayed home and said she doesn't want to do it just because. That would be a damn shame cause, as you said, she makes this show watchable....I must agree though, walking around with the brace in heels is a little insane, but it's great television compared to watching people hike all day, and Ty whining like a little baby cause he doesn't know how to use a inhaler, how rude and stubborn can he be? Raleigh just wanted to help him get better, but he's too arrogant to receive advice. No wonder no one cared about him and kept walking when he stopped to rest.
19 of 28 | Posted by roleepolee
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Posted on February 1, 2007 1:59 PM
"She is also a real dog, arf arf!" - That was hilarious, and I can't agree with you more.
20 of 28 | Posted by roleepolee
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Posted on February 1, 2007 2:05 PM
I started trying to watch this episode, and holyshit, it was the most boring five minutes I think I've ever seen. I gave up after that. It really is only entertaining when they're drunk and fighting (or straight up crazy like Brooke). Although I think I would enjoy their job. You have to really have a feel for that outdoorsy stuff though; if you don't, hiking that much would be a pain in the ass. Especially at that high altitude.
I would watch that RW: Where Are They Now? I miss Jacquese. We only saw him for one episode of the Challenge a few seasons back.
21 of 28 | Posted by antebellum
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Posted on February 1, 2007 2:28 PM
I realize I'm a bit ahead (previews of next week, ahead), but if I have to see Colie's giant , gaping, crying mouth ONE more time...ok I won't do anything but DAMN! You freakin' baby!!! And what is this SHIT (can I say that here?) with her getting upset about Alex bringing someone home? Wasn't she just prancing through the house shouting at the top of her giant, gaping lungs about Adam? And hello, what about the time she bedded that albino beast in like episode 2?? Hate. Hate. Hate.
As for Brooke, totally worthless as a human. At least there's not much chance of her signing up for a Challenge. Hee. Loved the shaved down, bedazzled ankle brace. Idiot.
Man. This show makes me mean :(
22 of 28 | Posted by Ms. Fred
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Posted on February 1, 2007 6:12 PM
Yeah....I sprained my ankle pretty badly a couple of years ago at my best friends bachelorette party. Let me tell you that #1 my WHOLE foot swelled up like an elephants foot, #2 I had to crawl to go to the bathroom I was in so much pain, #3 I could not drive ( as it happened to my right foot), let alone walk anywhere for a good week. And to top it all off, I had to walk down the isle the next week with an air cast, and could not wear my pretty new heals that I bought for the wedding.
Brook is a moron, and at the most twisted her ankle and milked it for all its worth. Really buck up bitch and go on the damn hike. Its not the fact that she indulged in the truth a bit, its the fact that she tried to justify her actions by bitching and moaning the entire time she was home, and then went to the spa, in high heels....it just makes me want to slap her and make her GROW UP!!
23 of 28 | Posted by BooBooKitty
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Posted on February 1, 2007 7:33 PM
roleepolee--Tyrie wasn't whining because he didn't know how to use an inhaler. He knows how to use one, he's been using one for 12 years. He was just getting upset because Raleigh was trying to teach him how to it. That would've annoyed the hell out of me too. Something about Raleigh bugs me.
I do too want to slap Brooke. I think she's a skank. All she does is walk around in short shorts and heels. She has a 'i'm too good for this' attitude about everything.
24 of 28 | Posted by jozeyg
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:10 PM
Cmon you guys lay off Brooke she is just a product of several generations of inbreeding..y'all..Colie is the real mental case!!!
25 of 28 | Posted by MtvMakesMeSmokeCrack
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Posted on February 2, 2007 6:14 PM
LOL Mrs Fred you are about as funny as B-side! great recap, cant wait for next week!
26 of 28 | Posted by McCreamy
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Posted on February 3, 2007 7:40 AM
"Upon discovering that advances in technology now allow gates to open and close, Jenn flashes her trademark "Rock Star!" hands."
I died reading this caption, too funny!!!
Brooke & Colie annoy me more and more each week.
Does anyone agree that Colie's very self-absorbed? It just seems like she's one of those people who likes to talk about herself all the time and what she's done and is doing.
I agree that Jen is tolerable when she's sober.
Stephen's an idiot too. Now I really can't stand the guy. He seems like one of those people who thinks that he's really cool, but comes off as a major nerd.
27 of 28 | Posted by cbgb
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Posted on February 3, 2007 10:34 AM
Ahhhh Hahahah so true. I just read the first paragraph of this recap, and wished I hadn't wasted my time watching this crap the other day!
28 of 28 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on February 3, 2007 10:14 PM