Hey Jealousy

asshole_dannyAnother week, another boring look inside the world of Danny and Melinda. Yes, it was back to business as usual on The Real World as we watched the increasingly annoying lovebirds ponder whether or not they were truly meant for each other. Unlike previous installments, however, this latest edition went from irksome to frustrating as Melinda bent over backwards to appease her trollish boyfriend Danny. To think that this was the same girl who had previously patted herself on the back for having left a co-dependent relationship (one with a promise ring, no less!).

This week's episode started off with something of a twist. For once we weren't at the Dizzy Rooster. Instead, we opened the show with Danny and Melinda cuddled up together in bed (where else?), whispering sweet nothings to each other. Make that sweet, funny-sounding nothings. Between her midwestern inflections and his Boston accent, the only thing left to totally cause ear hemorrhaging was a cameo appearance by Fran Drescher. That surely would be the unholy troika of American dialects.

Well, as the two romantics opened their hearts to each other, Danny engaged in that traditional Real World practice: my actions are excusable as long as I'm aware of them. "I'm scared of getting hurt again," he told Melinda, as if that were to make any of his bar flirtations any better. On the plus side though, he did take a step towards commitment by officially asking Mel to be his girlfriend. Awww. Maybe now they can go to the sock hop and tell people they're going steady! And then afterwards, they can neck at makeout point! By the way, I won't believe this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing until I see a 75¢ promise ring on Mel's finger. Yeah, that's right Danny. Some of us have standards.

Hey, remember that documentary the kids were supposed to be doing? Well, it was back. South By Southwest was looming which meant we got to see the bands arriving in Austin. This was all great and everything, but c'mon! Where's ENON??? Nevertheless, the roommies headed out to go film, but first they checked in with their advisor Paul Steckler who wanted to know what their strategy was for shooting. "We have a very foggy plan of action for handling the bands this week," Lacey told us. Oh really?? That's a shocker. Normally the Real World kids are always so organized and detailed with their jobs. I'm really at a loss for words.

Well, the three bands the roommies were going to follow around were Halifax, Hellogoodbye, and, wait for it, Enon! Yay Enon! (Not to be confused with Enron.) By the way, if you spell Enon backwards, you get "None." That's one of those points that sounds really cool, but basically has no value. Kinda like how "Tulsa" backwards is "a slut."

Before this big ol' documentary could get underway, Steck had one last thing to point out. The big Real World trip would depend on getting a good rough cut. Dunh dunh DUNH!!! Heavens forbid they don't get to go on their trip! Luckily, we already saw from the season preview many weeks ago that the roomies all wind up in some tropical place; so I think it's safe to say that either a) the kids rose to the occasion; or b) Steck didn't care -- he just said their cut was good to get them out of his hair (his puffy, wooly hair).

Nevertheless, even though we knew there was no way MTV would not allow the cast to go on vacation (also known as the drama gold mine), people like Rachel were still scared that they'd be deprived of some STA Travel-sponsored holiday. "I don't care if I have to do all the work," she told us, "I'm not going to not go on that vacation." And let's be fair: she really deserves a vacation... from her vacation. Well, looks like those iMovie skills will come in handy! We then saw Rachel call up her boyfriend and bark, "We're going full throttle with the documentary. I'm talking 24/7. I need five pints of cotton candy ice cream, STAT!"

Okay, Rachel didn't do that, but she did talk some crazy talk. She suggested that everyone meet at "The Parrish," whatever that was. Listen, Austin is Dizzy Rooster country. You expect me to believe these guys are venturing elsewhere? Please.

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Comments (42)

Svan:

Thank you for the post but especially for the screenshot of those breasts. Yum.

mere2142:

"It's like when you go to a gym and see a fat personal trainer. It's just not right."

Great line!

It's sad that Lacey seems to be the only one in that house with a brain. And I'm so over this whole Danny - Melinda thing. Let's show more of Wes spouting his insightful comments so B-Side has more to make fun in the recaps.

Anonymouse:

I must commend you for the close-up of Mel's breasts/a baby's ass.

Her explosive cleavage overcame my whole screen....I felt like I was in a 3-D special and her breasts were going to burst from her skimpy bikini top and hurdle towards my face. Logically, my next thought was, "Oh no! Danny's already damaged eye may be in peril!" Oh silly me, he has a short-brimmed hat to deflect those melons.

motown:

1) Melinda might want to move to Laguna Beach; I hear all the co-dependent whiny bitches live there. ( Jessica)
2) Wes and Danny should be kicked in the balls for their lack of work ethic (or is it just a lack of intelligence?). And Melinda should be punched in her overripe boobies. Maybe Rachel should put on some of those combat boots and take care of things.
3) Lacey. She's right on with the "Little House" reference. I do believe that she was saying that Katie's advice sounds like something Ma from Little House would say to Laura or Mary about keeping their husbands happy.
Did anyone actually miss that shot, by the way? My first thought when the camera zoomed in was, "Dude, how horny was that editor?"

eric:

I didn't get Danny's response to Melinda "Friendly? I would love to be your friend." Hello...you're already screwing her, you'd rather have her just hang onto your arm? Dumbass

Knew the breast shot was going to be included.

Greg:

I know this sounds bad but does anyone else wish that the punch Danny received on Fight Night just finished him off so we wouldn't have to suffer this storyline?

bryan:

im starting to hate danny more than wes(at least for the time being)

ali:

I knew you were gonna do a shot of that breast shot! HAHAHA yucky!

jash:

this episode was really sad because when i saw dannys jealousy it only confirms that he has a small penis--crushing my late-night fantasies.

kah:

nothing better than telling a guy "i wanna spend the rest of my life with you".... esp one who thinks that the relationship is moving too fast

do you think melinda's behavior was influenced by old trishelle footage?

SaveFerris:

Weren't Danny and Melinda talking about "not being fake" when they zoomed in on her boobies?

Jen:

ummm... i completely agree with all points made above EXCEPT... wes being dumb. he's slowly turning into my fave on the show (which is kind of a shocker i know) - but he just calls it like he sees it and his one-liners kill me.

ALECIA:

is it just me or does lacey get on anyone elses nerves?? i mean she is so lame, she wears freakin broaches! the ugliest pins on her shirt. like a grandmother. ughhh she makes me so mad. i cant wait to see rachel go off on her.

jash:

thing thing about lacey is well, lacey IS THE GREATEST!

she is the only person on the show who has a firm grasp on reality and what living in the world takes ie responsibility, mild intelligence, a handicapped boyfriend, and an established sense of self.

she is the best on the show.

tom:

I have to feel sorry for Danny. No, not because he's an idiot, or because he broke his face for being an idiot or because his Mom died whilst he was away being filmed being an idiot. No, not even for his short-brimmed caps.

That would be too easy.

No, I feel bad for him because he's with an incredibly hot girl, who appears to be a nice person on top of that, and he can't enjoy it. It's like something out of Sartre.

What are the current odds that the situation degenerates to a point where Mel ends up like Jennifer Connelly at the end of Requiem for a Dream? That might spice up this season.

BettyB:

First off Danny is a dick. ANd does anyone else think that he looks like Eddie Munster? He makes me sick. And Mel she looks like a little mouse, dont think shes hot. I do think she needs to find someone who will treat her right though and not play head games. I think Lacey is the only one is the house with half a brain.

Stevo:

Mel is the worst. She's a pathetic cliche of the clingy, needy, co-dependent bimbo. So annoying!

LBS:

Does anyone else see the early signs of abuse between Danny and Melinda? Really Danny, why are you such a douchebag? Moreover, I'm so glad that Douchebag Danny and Wes have their priorities in order. I mean, who cares about work when there is partying to be done at the Dizzy Rooster. I look forward to them joining the workforce.

chuckles:

OMG. Melinda doesn't have nips!

jstewart:

I would love to get a family history from Melinda. There has to be abuse somewhere for her to be acting the way she is with Danny. I can't wait for the episode where he hits her then says "I'm sorry baby, but sometimes you just make me so made."

carol:

chuckles - i was thinking the same thing when I saw that picture. Where the hell are they??

Thanks for the great recap B-Side. I don't watch the show anymore, but always read the recaps because they are so damn funny.

EdHill:

Me likey melinda's boobies.

ali:

You are so right Steveo. Mel makes me nauseous.

belinda:

EdHill - Melinda's are nice but take a look at Jessica's from LB. AND she doesn't have to 'tuck' them to poof them like Melinda does. (i.e. there's nippleage).

courtney:

Although I don't like Lacey, I completely agreed with her on Melinda and Danny. Melinda is too co-dependent on Danny. Unfortunetly, a cycle of co-dependency is hard to break and it doesn't even seem that she is aware of her clinginess. Danny is a whiny, manipulative dick. I use to find him cute and rather lovable, but his true personality is showing and I find him rather unattractive.

I also agree with Eric, Danny's "friend" comment was just dumb...but when has Danny not been dumb? He isn't exactly a shining pinnacle of intelligence.

kell:

lacey is by far the best character on the show. I used to like neihmiah, but somewhere along the way (the hook-up drawer, hanging with wes?), i just lost interest in his whereabouts.

i do feel sorry for mel. she seems like a nice girl (maybe a little too dependent, but most girls are at one point or another) and her boyfriend is a retahhted, short-brimmed hat-wearing douchebag. if i were her, i'd ditch him for one of those Halfx guys--bet they know how to treat women better than danny

bacardi:

what a corny ass whiny insecure clown. his skull needs to get rocked once more.

JenBabe21:

Dosn't Lacy make you want to put her in the sunlight or atleast a tanning bed... I get so tired of watching her pale ass get up in everybodys business.. Danny and melinda are so freakin retarted hes not even cute and shes just to damn clingy...

Ali:

COME ON! Recap from 10/11! I love you b-side!!!

I actually liked Danny at the beginning of the season. But this episode totally ruined that. The episode probably also set the bar for the dumbest thing s done or said in any episode in the show's history. Wes' comment about partying being more important than the documentary probabaly takes the cake.

Danny showed how stupid he was, also, by brushing Mel off for innocently having a conversation with some other guys. Is he that insecure?Mel is a sweet girl but needs to stop being so dependent on other guys' affection. It shows how low her self-esteem was when she nearly licked Danny's feet just to get him to talk to her after SHE DID NOTHING WRONG.

It's really sad. This is probably the dumbest cast in recent years. It's like watching a car accident.

amygirl:

I KNEW you would do a screenshot of those breasteseses- that was the most odd camera panning I have ever seen. All of a sudden- BAM- there they were. And I did indeed notice that Melinda is nippless. Either that or her nipples are on the side of her breasts. Very strange indeed...

amygirl:

Also, I Think Ms. Lacey is going to get her comeuppance. She sits in that telephone room gossipping to her boyfriend about all of her roommates while she is SPYING on them on the Security TV. Come on now, I think that is considered somewhat stalkerish/ psycho. I really hope they bust her doing this. I really had hopes for Lacey in the beginning of the season. She seemed "real" and kind of quirky in an original way (unlike all of the Barbie and Ken's we tend to see on this show). I thought she would be more like Road Rules Sarah- turns out she is more like Fucked-up Tonya (without the drugs and sluttiness). Watch for her on future challenges. I have a feeling Burnim- Murray will end up exploiting the hell out of her.

audrey:

Lacey sucks. Even though occasionally she might say something worthwhile...she just..sucks. She's always lingering around trying to collect bits of gossip..obviously..and I hate her. I was disappointed with Rachel's reaction to Lacey's dissin'. I was hoping for a full out fight. Too bad I guess. And I agree about Wes. Wes just doesn't know any better because he's retarted. Danny just tries to look awesome all the time.

Jules:

I NEED to know what you are going to say about Wes's bedhead in this weeks episode!

joslyn:

I never liked Lacey. I always knew she was wack and also super fugly. I hate a meddling-ass person and the way she watches people for hours at a time on the cameras is beyond creepy. Lacey is a true life version of "Single White Female". I bet she kicks puppies when no one is looking, too.

GatahBaby:

It's like something out of Sartre.

I think I love you, Tom...

carrie:

update update update! you're way late b-side!

yourlate:

B-SIDE, RECAP ALREADY!!!!!!

Jen:

okay... WHERE is last episode's recap?!?

Lisa:

i've been waiting for the recap too :-(

B-Side, we need our recap. You've got us addicted to this recaps and we're having withdrawal symptoms! (slaps vein in arm)

Sara:

I think her boobs look FAT and nasty, don't they?

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