This week's episode began at the bastion of Denver's nightlife: Monarck! As usual, we found the roommies dancing and drinking up a storm, but this time around, we had a new face in the mix. Her name was Stacy, and Alex described her as "A friend that I met in Denver." And by friend, he meant "future, drunken sexual conquest." She had a lot of things going for her. Said Alex, "Stacy's cool. Stacy's good looking. Stacy's not a roommate." Plus, her mom's got it going on.

Well, Alex brought the Stacinator back to the house, and apparently, everyone already knew her. Stacy greeted Brooke with a big, warm wave and even went so far to kiss Colie hello (enjoy the mono!). Moments later, Brooke descended the staircase and asked Stacy, "Where do you get your nails done?" Hopefully not the ghetto because if that were the case, Brooke WOULD BE IN HELL!

Anyway, everything seemed innocent and fine, but we soon learned that Colie absolutely detested Stacy. Why? Oh, just the typical insecure girl reasons. Apparently Stacy knew about the whole Alex-Colie-Jen love triangle (you know, the one that was over and done with two months ago) and despite that, Stacy still wanted to have sex with Alex. THE HORROR! How about Colie just get over it already. It was a one night fling.

Well, Colie acted out like the territorial bitch that she is. She actively attempted to make Stacy feel dumb, saying "I try my best to make her feel like an idiot because I know it'll piss Alex off." Why, that's completely mature and reasonable. I'd hate to see what she does to the guy that kissed her in fifth grade (it probably involves some sort of dead fish, a cinder block, and needles).

Despite Colie's attempts to make Stacy feel dumb (a feat I guarantee would never work, on account of Stacy's apparently clueless nature), Alex still brought his lady up to the bedroom and promptly boinked her brains out, much to the consternation of the other roommates. Well, really only Brooke and Colie were upset, and I have a feeling that Brooke secretly liked it anyway.

To be fair, I can understand how it might be annoying to try to carry on with your household activities, only to have some blonde drunkard moaning and fake orgasming everywhere, but on the other hand, these people are on The Real World. Did they really expect anything else? Besides, it's not like Colie needs to devote time to her master thesis or anything.

Well, after Colie loudly mocked Stacy with a few moans of her own, she told us, "It's a slap in my face, and it's disrespectful to bring a girl twenty yards away from me." Okay, Colie really needs to start harvesting some brain cells. It's not like she and Alex ever had a relationship. Lest we forget, it was a hookup that spanned less than 48 hours. Did somebody say attachment issues?

Nevertheless, we heard the pleasant sounds of Stacy climaxing, followed by amusing images of gushing fountains spurting water all about the Denver landscape. Naughty editors! (Well done.)

Anyway, the bright light of day did nothing to quell Colie's rabid jealousy as she now complained that "I feel like I've been treated rudely in my own house." Apparently, she had forgotten about the time when she brought home that skinny-fat kid and made out with him in an effort to bother Alex. I guess it doesn't count as rude and immature if Colie hooks up with people.