Welcome back to the Real World Hollywood! This week, we have cheating hearts and an orgy. Yes, an orgy. Do I need to say anything more to get you to keep reading?
If you need more incentive, Blondie could possibly drown or be eaten by non picky giant fish.
And we're not wasting any time today. We start off at the improv, where House Mommy Charna informs the group no improv class this week...cause they're going to Mexico! Yay! No improv for a week! Fantastic!
It's trip to Cancun, including all the usual tourist traps like dolphin swims and jungle tours. In other words, the $799 package, but the roomies jump around and yell and scream like it's a week on a yacht in San Tropez. Actually, it's a little refreshing that they're so excited. I need to stop being so jaded. Dave Dolt wants to drink the worm in the tequila, and then get arrested. Blondie Kim just wants to lay out and drink Pina Coladas.
That night they go out and celebrate. Rick James Will and Dolt do some really dumb dance, and then Dolt comes home and passes out next to the toilet. Rick James starts throwing pancake mix all over him, and Horsey Brittani - who, remember, isn't into Rick James at all - laughs like it's the most entertaining thing she's ever seen. Then she gets in on the pancake throwing action. What fun.
And you thought he couldn't get any whiter.
After they've doused Dolt, Rick and Horsey retreat to the bedroom where she tells him she's sad that he didn't want to be her friend (translated: that he didn't want to profess his undying love for her and her horse face). Rick explains to her that he doesn't want to be friends with her if there's flirtation and physical hi-jinks. Which is a little unfair, because he was in on that too.
Horsey says that she's excited to get to Cancun, because Rick James will finally be separated from that she-devil girlfriend of his, and they will finally have the chance to "get to know each other" (translated: have sex that will be meaningless to Rick and will have Horsey following him around like a pathetic puppy dog for the remainder of their time in the house).
She carries on and on about how much she likes everything about him. She likes how he does music. She likes his break dancing, and hey, she likes to dance too! Omigod - they should totally get married! And Rick's starting to give in. "Maybe I should give her a chance," he concedes. Translated: Janelle's not giving it up anyway, Horsey's obviously a total whore, and if it happens in Mexico, it doesn't count.
I had his white headband in the third grade. Soulmates!
Horsey gets on the phone with her boyfriend Jeremy and gives him the great news about the trip. He's a little concerned, because he's got a very special trip to the Real World house planned, and heaven forbid he misses his big opportunity to show up at the house and make sure we all know how cool he is. But crisis averted, they arrive back to Hollywood the day before Jeremy gets there. Whew. Close call.
Later, we catch up with Rick James and Janelle, out dancing together. Hey, Janelle seems to like dancing too. Now he's got two soul mates. What to do? Anyway, Rick tells us how much Janelle means to him, which means he's definitely going to be cheating on her. Back at the house, Rick and Janelle are cuddling in bed. Rick mentions that all he wants to do in these last moments is cuddle and have sex. First of all, I stand corrected - I guess Janelle is giving it up. And second, "in these last moments"? You're not going to war, man, it's a budget trip to the tackiest part of Mexico. You'll probably come back alive.
The moment she's out the door, Rick starts telling us how he loves Janelle, but he's worried something's going to happen in Cancun. Then he attacks Horsey with a big orange cone and informs the world that she has yet to see a black penis. Girl, get on it! I've seen one, and I'm not even black. Brianna the Stripper tells Rick to keep dreaming, and then she takes hold of the orange cone to wonder who will be getting laid in Cancun. My money's on Slick Nick, who's busy doing a little jig in the background.
I think we can all safely assume it won't be Goody. She still has a headache.
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Comments (12)
Amazing recap..possibly your best ever!
1 of 12 | Posted by alliewooo | Posted on July 6, 2008 10:45 AM
That was cruelty to dolphins!lol
I would swear my cat recognizes his refelection in the mirror. Now I have to check this out.
Great recap so far......!
2 of 12 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on July 6, 2008 10:51 AM
Nice recap CB.
I got distracted while watching the ep, and when I came back to the TV I saw Rick making a constipated face at the mirror and thought, wth? And then he fliply says to the camera that he faked tears. LMAO. Good one.
Can't wait for next week's episode. I watched the preview on MTV Overdrive... All I can say is, Bri is awesome.
3 of 12 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on July 6, 2008 3:12 PM
Great Recap!
Horsey is a hot mess. She made herself look like a super loser. Why is she so obsessed with Will? When she found out he had a girlfriend she should have moved the f*@k on.
Will's Oscar winning performace at the end left me with my jaw on the floor. Janelle is probably going to be even more pissed about that then the kiss, because at least he was honest about the kiss.
4 of 12 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:21 AM
CB that recap was amazing. The Ross Geller/Friends reference . . . brilliant. These people may be annoying but damn if I haven't been entertained as hell this season. I can't believe this but I'm not ready for it to be over yet.
5 of 12 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 7, 2008 7:24 AM
Does anyone else not buy the Will/Janelle storyline? She doesn't seem to like him much. She always turns her face away when he goes in to kiss her. And she seemed way too proud of herself when he started "crying" in front of her. I don't believe the 2 of them are together for a second.
6 of 12 | Posted by maximus | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:55 AM
it seems pretty evident that Janelle is using Will for screentime which CB has nailed on that point. well played.
7 of 12 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 7, 2008 11:57 AM
Great recap as usual and I heard Janelle/Will dated for a little bit after this, but Janelle wasn't really into him that much. Clearly she wanted screentime and after the show was over she just bailed.
JasonR I feel the same way, I don't even want this season to end. I'm actually going miss this cast yes all of them are idiots but this was a good season nonetheless and it looks like they they go out with a bang on the last episode.
8 of 12 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on July 7, 2008 1:20 PM
I found it funny when they showed Will and Janelle in bed and she asked him "Will, where are you going?" and he said "Third base" and she said no and left. Then he said that he was so horny and started talking about how he might do something in Mexico that he'd regret. God he's such a pansy. I think it's pretty obvious that she's not really into him, they are all so stupid. I also thought that Goody was just jealous that Will was actually paying attention to another female in the house instead of her. I don't want this season to be over because they have given CB a lot of material to work with and make fun of, but if I never see Blondie or Goody on my TV screen again,after the finale and the reunion of course (I'm such a loser), it'll be too soon.
9 of 12 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on July 7, 2008 10:50 PM
I really hate Kim and Sara, the only reason they talk shit to Bri like that is if this was the "real world" those two self righteous cunts would've got their asses beat a long time ago. I love how Kim is so classy but she sat her krusty boney ass naked in the confessional after she made out w/a dozen people. That's not trashy?? And someone needs to punch Goody in that big shit smelling nose of hers.
10 of 12 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:51 AM
new recap any time soon???
11 of 12 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 15, 2008 5:30 PM
All I have to say is I have personally met the " Mayo" In Acapulco.. And he is by far no Nerd. I Love Him !! He is a BLAST and I hope everyone can have the Mayo experience once in there little life’s..
12 of 12 | Posted by isellwood | Posted on August 5, 2008 9:42 AM