So later that night, they take Rick James out to cheer him up. And it works. They're back on Hollywood Blvd., drinking and dancing, and next thing you know, there's two hos in the cab with Rick and Dolt and one of them whispers to Rick, "Four." That's right, as in foursome. As in sex with four people. Oh my. Of course, the boys are down with it. "This is going on the dude resume!" yells Dolt excitedly.
Might get those little peanuts tickled after all.
Rick James runs around the house like a crazy little boy, getting everything ready for all the sex while Dolt starts getting the girls lubed up in the bedroom. Horsey can't believe that this is really happening right now. "It just proves that he's really easily influenced," she bitches about Rick. Whatever, he doesn't like you, the only way you got him to kiss you was when he was drunk and thousands of miles away from his girl, and even when she dumped him, you were still out of the picture. Get over it.
Stripper comes home and hears about the orgy, and she's thrilled to pieces. She goes flying through the house to get a peek. Even Goody and Blondie are trying to look in. Blondie says that Rick's trying to get over his hurt with a "dirty, disgusting orgy". Jealous much? They don't really show any of it on TV though, not even the moving around under the sheets with the night vision cameras, which means it must have been a really, really dirty one. After it's all over, Rick James (did I name him perfectly or what?) and Dolt run into the kitchen high fiving each other like mad, Rick bangs on some pots and pans and Dolt lays on the floor kicking his feet up in the air. Playin' it cool, guys.
The next morning, guess who's on the phone? That's right, it's Janelle. I told you she wasn't going to let this thing go while cameras were still rolling. If there's one thing I know, it's a reality show camera whore. She wants to meet up, which Rick responds to with a very lackluster, "ummmmmm, yeah." Now he's thinking about the orgy from the night before. "I'm an idiot," he moans. Whatever, Ross Geller. You were on a break!
Janelle wants to rehash. What happened? I want every detail, she tells him. This conversation couldn't be less necessary, but it's getting Janelle one more scene, so well done, Miss Personal Relations. She wants to know what he was thinking. "I wasn't thinking, I was drinking," he says brilliantly. He has nothing more to say. All he knows is that he wants this girl back in his life, whatever it takes.
He goes into the bathroom and has a deep moment staring in the mirror...and starts fake crying. He thinks about horseradish and wasabi sauce, and it just happens. Is he serious? Yes he is! And it works! He comes back to the table, and Janelle gives him a big hug. "I don't want people to see me like this," he says softly. Oh, this is masterful. But Janelle is so going to kick his ass when she sees this. This bitch is not going to appreciate being played the fool, on television no less.
If wasabi doesn't work, remember that you teabagged Dolt last night.
And that's it! Well, this was one action packed episode. I'm still reeling from Rick's final performance. That was some impressive shit. But good for him. Girls use that trick all the time, why shouldn't a guy benefit from it too? And as for next week, well, it's all over! Can you believe it? Meathead Joey comes back for one final soliloquy, Blondie auditions for Entertainment Tonight and eats it (which will hopefully kickstart that coke addiction I've been waiting for all season) and there's a Real World fight at Area, which I guess means that Area's officially dead. So see you then!
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Comments (14)
Amazing recap..possibly your best ever!
1 of 14 | Posted by alliewooo | Posted on July 6, 2008 10:45 AM
That was cruelty to dolphins!lol
I would swear my cat recognizes his refelection in the mirror. Now I have to check this out.
Great recap so far......!
2 of 14 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on July 6, 2008 10:51 AM
Nice recap CB.
I got distracted while watching the ep, and when I came back to the TV I saw Rick making a constipated face at the mirror and thought, wth? And then he fliply says to the camera that he faked tears. LMAO. Good one.
Can't wait for next week's episode. I watched the preview on MTV Overdrive... All I can say is, Bri is awesome.
3 of 14 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on July 6, 2008 3:12 PM
Great Recap!
Horsey is a hot mess. She made herself look like a super loser. Why is she so obsessed with Will? When she found out he had a girlfriend she should have moved the f*@k on.
Will's Oscar winning performace at the end left me with my jaw on the floor. Janelle is probably going to be even more pissed about that then the kiss, because at least he was honest about the kiss.
4 of 14 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:21 AM
CB that recap was amazing. The Ross Geller/Friends reference . . . brilliant. These people may be annoying but damn if I haven't been entertained as hell this season. I can't believe this but I'm not ready for it to be over yet.
5 of 14 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 7, 2008 7:24 AM
Does anyone else not buy the Will/Janelle storyline? She doesn't seem to like him much. She always turns her face away when he goes in to kiss her. And she seemed way too proud of herself when he started "crying" in front of her. I don't believe the 2 of them are together for a second.
6 of 14 | Posted by maximus | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:55 AM
it seems pretty evident that Janelle is using Will for screentime which CB has nailed on that point. well played.
7 of 14 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 7, 2008 11:57 AM
Great recap as usual and I heard Janelle/Will dated for a little bit after this, but Janelle wasn't really into him that much. Clearly she wanted screentime and after the show was over she just bailed.
JasonR I feel the same way, I don't even want this season to end. I'm actually going miss this cast yes all of them are idiots but this was a good season nonetheless and it looks like they they go out with a bang on the last episode.
8 of 14 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on July 7, 2008 1:20 PM
I found it funny when they showed Will and Janelle in bed and she asked him "Will, where are you going?" and he said "Third base" and she said no and left. Then he said that he was so horny and started talking about how he might do something in Mexico that he'd regret. God he's such a pansy. I think it's pretty obvious that she's not really into him, they are all so stupid. I also thought that Goody was just jealous that Will was actually paying attention to another female in the house instead of her. I don't want this season to be over because they have given CB a lot of material to work with and make fun of, but if I never see Blondie or Goody on my TV screen again,after the finale and the reunion of course (I'm such a loser), it'll be too soon.
9 of 14 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on July 7, 2008 10:50 PM
I really hate Kim and Sara, the only reason they talk shit to Bri like that is if this was the "real world" those two self righteous cunts would've got their asses beat a long time ago. I love how Kim is so classy but she sat her krusty boney ass naked in the confessional after she made out w/a dozen people. That's not trashy?? And someone needs to punch Goody in that big shit smelling nose of hers.
10 of 14 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on July 8, 2008 6:51 AM
new recap any time soon???
11 of 14 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on July 15, 2008 5:30 PM
All I have to say is I have personally met the " Mayo" In Acapulco.. And he is by far no Nerd. I Love Him !! He is a BLAST and I hope everyone can have the Mayo experience once in there little life’s..
12 of 14 | Posted by isellwood | Posted on August 5, 2008 9:42 AM
Stripper, Goody, Janelle, Horsey. Sooo...Will has liked damn near every chick on the show at this point. I used to think Will is hot (ok, I still do), but I would hate to be his gf. His taste is so indiscriminate. I mean, Goody? Really?
I'm on Team Janelle. I went to school with her in the Bay Area and she is nice (although she comes off a bit stuck up at first).
13 of 14 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on September 12, 2008 11:00 AM
Oh...and Blondie and Goody still disgust me. Stripper has been very good about staying cool under the Bitchy Twins' pressure. I wouldn't have gotten as loud as Stripper at the restaurant, but I WOULD have gotten a couple nice FYIs in at that table.
Blondie - you're not as hot or as classy as you think you are. Exhibits A, B, and C: your tacky homemade bottle blond job, annoying twangy accent, and straight ho-eyness in the club after a couple drinks.
Goody - you're not as cute or morally upstanding as you think you are. Exhibits A & B: your dorky-as-hell boyfriend and drunk escapades that *surprise!* are on tape for the world (and yes, that includes your parents and bf) to see.
THE END
14 of 14 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on September 12, 2008 11:10 AM