Later that night, or the next night, or whenever, these time sequences still confuse the hell out of me, we're with the group out at a club. I know from the preview that it's Area. Poor Area. Going from the Hills to the Real World? They're in a downward spiral. Time to close down and revamp, Brent Bolthouse. And we don't see exactly what happens, but all of the sudden, Stripper's yelling that Dave Dolt's been hit! He's been hit!
They head outside, and Horsey tells us that Dolt's face is all puffy, and he's got a slit on his cheek. Dolt stands there, arms crossed, looking very uncomfortable. Here's my take on what happened. Dolt went to Area with his cameras, thinking he was the Mr. Big Pants that he is at those hole in the wall clubs he goes to on Hollywood Blvd., but this is La Cienega, bitch, where the weaves aren't so cheap. And someone called him out on being not nearly as cool as he thinks he is, and there you go, he's hit.
They're all standing outside, and Dolt says he needs to get out of there. "I know how you feel," says Stripper sympathetically, "You feel like a little bitch right now, but you did the smart thing." I think that takes it for best line of the season (Meathead's soliloquies not included - they're in a class of their own).
Being a wuss hurts, but getting hit again would hurt more. Good job, little man!
But the drama's not over yet! All of the sudden, Rick James goes from standing around with Horsey to running over to where Dolt and Stripper stand and he grabs some guy! And it turns into a brawl! I am not kidding you, Slick's got some dude in a headlock, fists are flying, and Stripper...oh my, she is pummeling some guy. I mean, beating his ass down. I am so in love with her right now. And as for Dolt? Well, he's been hit again, so he just lays on the sidewalk in the fetal position, covering his head with his hands while his girl roommate beats that crap out of his aggressors. You know, Dolt's not a bad guy, he just thinks he's much cooler than he is, so I'm actually going to allow myself to feel a little embarrassed for him right now.
"You wanna go? You wanna go now?" Rick threatens, pulling off his belt. His belt? Now, I'm not sure how the kids are rumbling these days, but are they beating each other with belts? That's disturbing. And a little wimpy. Although, who am I to talk. I walk the streets of New York City at all hours of the night, secure in the fact that if anyone starts with me, I'll just stab them with the heel of my Guccis.
So they brawl and they brawl, and the lame ass security at Area kind of stands around and does nothing. They're used to Lauren and Heidi catfights, but they have no idea how to handle this kind of action. They finally manage to break it up, and quick thinking Stripper (who we know has been down this road before, although we shouldn't mention it because as we learned at the nice restaurant in Mexico, she's a little sensitive about it) herds them out of there pronto. "Let's go now! Fast! Yo, Nick you need to walk right now. It's only a matter of time before the cops get here," she yells as she struts off, leading the pack.
That was fun. Whattya wanna do now?
"Damn!" she continues, "Dave, my knuckles are swollen right now!" Got that Dolt? Stripper's knuckles are swollen, while you're shuffling along rubbing your little flesh wound. They get back to the house, Dolt walks into the kitchen with a package of frozen corn against his cheek and informs Blondie that they were in a brawl that night. "I was sucker punched!" he bemoans. Blondie looks horrified. Goody, over on the couch in her sweats and her blanket, shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
She should be grateful. Without people like her roommates brawling in clubs, who would she have to feel superior to?
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Comments (7)
Ugh Sarah is SO judgemental, I mean who does she think she is?? She was the most boring Real Worlder, why did they cast her??
And Im from Chicago and yes it does get that wet. It snowed soo much this winter and its rained a lot this summer. And that wasent rain that was horrible wet snow!
I love your recaps!
1 of 7 | Posted by lulu5087 | Posted on July 16, 2008 10:58 PM
Hey ChickBomb, lovely recap, you are the perfect mix of heart and rapier-sharp wits, I think you nailed it to the wall.
I did catch the reunion special, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on it, especially some of the assholish antics of Dave Dolt, and the special event that happened to Rick James (I don't want to spoil it for those who didn't catch it already). I will say, like you, pretty much any good will I had built up towards most of them was quickly and efficiently erased by what I saw in their reunion special. This show is so sad now. But you made me happy about it again!
love,
xoxo
J-Mo :)
2 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 16, 2008 11:58 PM
"Well, then we get a little more improv action. This never gets interesting."
I could not agree more with this comment! The scenes at the IO are the part of the show when I decide to do laundry instead of watching. I'd much rather see our Real Worlders trapse through the woods in their underwear than "take a class." Who's idea was that anyway? So glad this is over. This show has gone way downhill since Julie and Kevin's fight about racism on the street in front of their loft on Real World New York.
The roommates are way too aware of the cameras now and its the show has gone from a social experiment to signing up to live in a fishbowl for your 15 minutes of fame.
That said, ChickBomb- you rock. Totes happy you're recapping the train wreck that will be I Love Money!
3 of 7 | Posted by OhioAnnie | Posted on July 17, 2008 8:36 AM
ChickBomb, or should I call you Kim? You did a kick ass job with this season, which was one of the best in a while. I liked shortened season w/ hour episodes and hope they keep that up. That comment Dave made about his only regret being hooking up with Kim, I was hoping that was just tongue in cheek, or maybe bad editing to make him look like a jerk. You never know, the next sentence he said could have been that he regretted it because it interfered with their friendship or something. Anyway, I can't wait for your reunion show recap.
4 of 7 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 18, 2008 7:08 AM
Chickbomb, love your recaps but not every South Carolinian is small minded and racist! Just thought I would throw that out there!
5 of 7 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:03 AM
I don't know why no one has pointed out the obvious- that Sara very well might be racist. Now, I'm not saying that's the case for sure, but it's interesting how she seems to have irrational anger always directed towards the black people in the house(Bri, Nick,Greg)- I believe she led the charge against Greg since the very first episode, talking shit about him so that by the time he entered the house, the guy never had a chance. She jumped all over Bri for sleeping with a guy in their room, but never said a peep when it was Kim and Dave doing the exact same thing, night after night. And she even started this big beef with Nick(clearly the nicest guy in the house) who had done nothing to her(from what I could tell) for no reason whatsoever. When it comes to the white roommates however, Sarah clicked with Kim from day one, never had an issue with Dave at all(even though he was banging away at Kim only feet from where her majesty slept), and was all understanding and sweet to Joey after he personally terrorized her and the other roommates. I think Will was the only exception because he was her little bitch boy, never stepping on her toes, and jumping all over Greg to protect her majesty, as well as letting her know how beautiful and desired she was(barf!). I'm sure Sarah would be horrified at having this accusation directed towards her, but I've seen her type before, and there definitely seems to be a pattern with who receives the brunt of her judgementalism and bitchiness.
6 of 7 | Posted by jazz hands | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:36 PM
Interesting, jazz hands. that definitely makes sense.
Why was Joey still wearing his hard hat in his girlfriend's car? I know it was a piece of shit but it did have a roof right?
7 of 7 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:01 PM