The next morning, they go to the Improv Olympics and Mama Charna takes one look at Dolt and exclaims, "What the hell!?!" Dolt explains that he was "sucker punched" - twice. At least he gives props to Stripper for beating they guy down. Then he tells us how good it feels - and I'm sure he's going to say something sarcastic about how good it feels to have a girl defend your honor in a fistfight - but I'm wrong. He just wants to say how good it feels to know that no matter what's going on in the house, they all have each other's backs. Well, Stripper has your back. You're just lying on the floor, curled up - in the immortal words of Stripper - like a little bitch.
Well, then we get a little more improv action. This never gets interesting. Charna gives them direction, but they suck, as usual. Blondie tells us that improv isn't her thing, cause she's not funny and she's not quick. Charna is positive as ever. "Well, it's gonna take a while, but they're gonna learn it," she says cheerfully. Listen mama, if they haven't gotten it after four months (three months? How long is this thing again?) it might be time to just admit that they're just plain no good at it. They can't all be Amy Poehlers now, can they?
Back at the house, the phone's a-ringin'. Rick James picks it up...and it's Meathead! Calling from the sad little porch of his sad little house, with a couple of big tubs of drywall or something to only accentuate things. Rick is super happy to hear from him, and I stand corrected - apparently, he has been making numerous attempts to get into contact with Meat. He's glad to hear Meat's alive. "How come everyone always thinks I'm gonna die?" Meat chortles.
Uh...no reason.
But it soon becomes clear why Meat hasn't called. He tells Rick that things are a little slow for him back in Chicago, and he sometimes wonders if he made the right decision. See, it's like breaking up with someone who you know is no good, but you still love them so you can never talk to them. Rick tells him no regrets, and to just go forward. And that they miss him. "It's not the same without you," he tells him sweetly. It's so not.
The next day, there's big news from Charna! It's an interview/audition for Entertainment Tonight for Blondie, Goody and Slick. What, no E! Entertainment Television? Seacrest is obviously running scared. They're all pretty excited, especially Blondie. This is exactly what she always wanted, it's her niche, she tells us.
Back in Chicago, Meathead is walking the streets in the rain (who knew it rained so much in Chicago? I'm there frequently, and it's cold and windy, but not usually wet, right?) in his trademark blue soccer jacket. And he's headed to the Improv Olympics - Chicago. Apparently, it's a chain. It's the Applebee's of improv. He walks through the theater, and into Charna's office, where he's greeted with her trademark, "Ahhh! Hahahahahaha!!!" You know, I make fun of her a lot, but Charna's good stuff. She's always happy to see everyone, always looking out for them. Even her cute dogs are happy to see Meat.
Meat notes how supportive Charna's been. She tells him how much they've missed him, and then makes sure he's been staying clean and sober. She invites him to take classes at Improv Olympics - Chicago, which he wants to do. Then, Charna invites him to the roomies' final show at the Hollywood location, and Meat is surprised and touched. She tells him how much they miss him, and how he's still part of it and how he's one of her favorites. Really, she's a jowly, good egg.
Did I ever tell you about the time I discovered Jerry Lewis in the men's bathroom of Sardis? It was a real gas, brother!
Meat walks the rainy, rainy streets of Chicago while the song in the background sings about "being on my way", and calls Hollywood. Rick James answers the phone again, and Meat gives him the great news. "The king of surprises has one more surprise for everybody!" Meat tells him joyously. The king of surprises? Okay, whatever. Rick gives Stripper and Blondie the news, and they're thrilled. Oh, and Horsey's there too. She acts all excited too, which is stupid cause she doesn't even know the guy, but you know, the alternate's gotta do what the alternate's gotta do to fit in.
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Comments (7)
Ugh Sarah is SO judgemental, I mean who does she think she is?? She was the most boring Real Worlder, why did they cast her??
And Im from Chicago and yes it does get that wet. It snowed soo much this winter and its rained a lot this summer. And that wasent rain that was horrible wet snow!
I love your recaps!
1 of 7 | Posted by lulu5087 | Posted on July 16, 2008 10:58 PM
Hey ChickBomb, lovely recap, you are the perfect mix of heart and rapier-sharp wits, I think you nailed it to the wall.
I did catch the reunion special, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on it, especially some of the assholish antics of Dave Dolt, and the special event that happened to Rick James (I don't want to spoil it for those who didn't catch it already). I will say, like you, pretty much any good will I had built up towards most of them was quickly and efficiently erased by what I saw in their reunion special. This show is so sad now. But you made me happy about it again!
love,
xoxo
J-Mo :)
2 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 16, 2008 11:58 PM
"Well, then we get a little more improv action. This never gets interesting."
I could not agree more with this comment! The scenes at the IO are the part of the show when I decide to do laundry instead of watching. I'd much rather see our Real Worlders trapse through the woods in their underwear than "take a class." Who's idea was that anyway? So glad this is over. This show has gone way downhill since Julie and Kevin's fight about racism on the street in front of their loft on Real World New York.
The roommates are way too aware of the cameras now and its the show has gone from a social experiment to signing up to live in a fishbowl for your 15 minutes of fame.
That said, ChickBomb- you rock. Totes happy you're recapping the train wreck that will be I Love Money!
3 of 7 | Posted by OhioAnnie | Posted on July 17, 2008 8:36 AM
ChickBomb, or should I call you Kim? You did a kick ass job with this season, which was one of the best in a while. I liked shortened season w/ hour episodes and hope they keep that up. That comment Dave made about his only regret being hooking up with Kim, I was hoping that was just tongue in cheek, or maybe bad editing to make him look like a jerk. You never know, the next sentence he said could have been that he regretted it because it interfered with their friendship or something. Anyway, I can't wait for your reunion show recap.
4 of 7 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 18, 2008 7:08 AM
Chickbomb, love your recaps but not every South Carolinian is small minded and racist! Just thought I would throw that out there!
5 of 7 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:03 AM
I don't know why no one has pointed out the obvious- that Sara very well might be racist. Now, I'm not saying that's the case for sure, but it's interesting how she seems to have irrational anger always directed towards the black people in the house(Bri, Nick,Greg)- I believe she led the charge against Greg since the very first episode, talking shit about him so that by the time he entered the house, the guy never had a chance. She jumped all over Bri for sleeping with a guy in their room, but never said a peep when it was Kim and Dave doing the exact same thing, night after night. And she even started this big beef with Nick(clearly the nicest guy in the house) who had done nothing to her(from what I could tell) for no reason whatsoever. When it comes to the white roommates however, Sarah clicked with Kim from day one, never had an issue with Dave at all(even though he was banging away at Kim only feet from where her majesty slept), and was all understanding and sweet to Joey after he personally terrorized her and the other roommates. I think Will was the only exception because he was her little bitch boy, never stepping on her toes, and jumping all over Greg to protect her majesty, as well as letting her know how beautiful and desired she was(barf!). I'm sure Sarah would be horrified at having this accusation directed towards her, but I've seen her type before, and there definitely seems to be a pattern with who receives the brunt of her judgementalism and bitchiness.
6 of 7 | Posted by jazz hands | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:36 PM
Interesting, jazz hands. that definitely makes sense.
Why was Joey still wearing his hard hat in his girlfriend's car? I know it was a piece of shit but it did have a roof right?
7 of 7 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:01 PM