Next day, Horsey and Stripper are headed to LA Models so that she can get signed with them as a "high fashion model". Some guy in a bulky hoodie makes her walk. And he's not impressed. Her walk needs work, but her measurements are okay, is his assessment. He leaves her with a little hope though, once her walk improves, he's sure he'll get work at the LA shows. Big deal. Listen dolls, I love LA, I love LA fashion but our shows are a joke. The Lauren Conrad collection was the highlight of the season. And I love LC too, but Balenciaga she's not.
Meanwhile, Blondie, Goody and Slick are at Paramount Studios for their big day at Entertainment Tonight. "What would you do if Lindsay Lohan walked out of a trailer?" Goody asks Blondie. Hit her up for the good drugs, natch. But Blondie says she'd probably die. Yeah, the good stuff can be a little harsh for newbies. But they're all really excited and starstruck by the big studio.
Blondie reminds us of what a huge opportunity it is, and how blessed she is just to be on the lot. She jokes with Goody that when they ask what her credentials are, all she's got is dental assistant. "Yeah, I do a killer filling," cracks Goody. They head on to the stage to meet Kevin Frazier. I'm not sure who he is. What happened to Mary Hart?
Come to think of it, where is Lohan? Anyone?
But Kevin is very nice, tells them he's heard they all want to do what he does one day. That's right, Frazier, you'd best be quaking in your boots. Seacrest has already banned them from his set. And then he breaks the really big news...they're going to be auditioning. They're there to interview Shanna Moakler. Really, can we get anymore Z-list than that? Even Andy Dick's a bigger deal.
Oh, I just remembered I have a Shanna Moakler story! I was working at Fred Segal when she was pregnant, and she came in with her husband, the tattooed Blink 182 dude, who I randomly happened to have a mutual acquaintance with, so I chatted with him for a minute or two about the mutual friend, and then I told her how adorable she looked (she didn't, she's a little piggy looking, but I was trying to be nice 'cause I worked on commission) and she shot me daggers, grabbed her man by the arm and marched him out of there. Well, excuuuuuse me.
Anyway, naturally, the roomies are hugely impressed. "A real interview with a real celebrity!" Slick tells us excitedly. They will be viewing a ninety second clip of her short-lived reality show about pageants, reading a quick bio and then interviewing her. Goody will go first, cause she has the most experience, Slick is second and Blondie is last. "This would never happen in real life," Goody informs us, "In real life, I would never be this unprepared." Sure, entertainment news is always so predictable and scripted. Never off the cuff. Idiot.
So tell me, how much do you hate bras?
But Goody seems to do okay. She does have it right when she says that you always need to act confident and pretend you know what you're doing even if you don't, cause that's how life is. Slick is up next, and he's a little nervous. He looks fantastic in his pink shirt and striped tie, though. He thinks Shanna's "dope" and "stunning", and it made his interview a little hard. His "interview" is a little hard, get it?
And then comes Blondie. And she could really benefit from Goody's advice about pretending you know what you're doing even when you don't, cause she's nervous as hell and she can not hide it at all. "Hi Shanna, how are yewww?" she asks hesitantly. And then, nothing. Silence. A very, very long silence. Shanna looks at her encouragingly, Blondie looks down at her notes, and...nothing. "I, like, know what I want to ask her in my head, but the questions aren't coming out," she tells us plaintively. Now, you know we saw her perform at the Improv Olympics, and I found her kind of cute and engaging, and in moments like this, I see it. Yeah, she bit it in her audition, but who hasn't had moments like this? I'm telling you, if she hadn't hooked up with Goody, Blondie would have been a whole different experience. And good Lord, what is going on with those red boots?
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Comments (7)
Ugh Sarah is SO judgemental, I mean who does she think she is?? She was the most boring Real Worlder, why did they cast her??
And Im from Chicago and yes it does get that wet. It snowed soo much this winter and its rained a lot this summer. And that wasent rain that was horrible wet snow!
I love your recaps!
1 of 7 | Posted by lulu5087 | Posted on July 16, 2008 10:58 PM
Hey ChickBomb, lovely recap, you are the perfect mix of heart and rapier-sharp wits, I think you nailed it to the wall.
I did catch the reunion special, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on it, especially some of the assholish antics of Dave Dolt, and the special event that happened to Rick James (I don't want to spoil it for those who didn't catch it already). I will say, like you, pretty much any good will I had built up towards most of them was quickly and efficiently erased by what I saw in their reunion special. This show is so sad now. But you made me happy about it again!
love,
xoxo
J-Mo :)
2 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 16, 2008 11:58 PM
"Well, then we get a little more improv action. This never gets interesting."
I could not agree more with this comment! The scenes at the IO are the part of the show when I decide to do laundry instead of watching. I'd much rather see our Real Worlders trapse through the woods in their underwear than "take a class." Who's idea was that anyway? So glad this is over. This show has gone way downhill since Julie and Kevin's fight about racism on the street in front of their loft on Real World New York.
The roommates are way too aware of the cameras now and its the show has gone from a social experiment to signing up to live in a fishbowl for your 15 minutes of fame.
That said, ChickBomb- you rock. Totes happy you're recapping the train wreck that will be I Love Money!
3 of 7 | Posted by OhioAnnie | Posted on July 17, 2008 8:36 AM
ChickBomb, or should I call you Kim? You did a kick ass job with this season, which was one of the best in a while. I liked shortened season w/ hour episodes and hope they keep that up. That comment Dave made about his only regret being hooking up with Kim, I was hoping that was just tongue in cheek, or maybe bad editing to make him look like a jerk. You never know, the next sentence he said could have been that he regretted it because it interfered with their friendship or something. Anyway, I can't wait for your reunion show recap.
4 of 7 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 18, 2008 7:08 AM
Chickbomb, love your recaps but not every South Carolinian is small minded and racist! Just thought I would throw that out there!
5 of 7 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:03 AM
I don't know why no one has pointed out the obvious- that Sara very well might be racist. Now, I'm not saying that's the case for sure, but it's interesting how she seems to have irrational anger always directed towards the black people in the house(Bri, Nick,Greg)- I believe she led the charge against Greg since the very first episode, talking shit about him so that by the time he entered the house, the guy never had a chance. She jumped all over Bri for sleeping with a guy in their room, but never said a peep when it was Kim and Dave doing the exact same thing, night after night. And she even started this big beef with Nick(clearly the nicest guy in the house) who had done nothing to her(from what I could tell) for no reason whatsoever. When it comes to the white roommates however, Sarah clicked with Kim from day one, never had an issue with Dave at all(even though he was banging away at Kim only feet from where her majesty slept), and was all understanding and sweet to Joey after he personally terrorized her and the other roommates. I think Will was the only exception because he was her little bitch boy, never stepping on her toes, and jumping all over Greg to protect her majesty, as well as letting her know how beautiful and desired she was(barf!). I'm sure Sarah would be horrified at having this accusation directed towards her, but I've seen her type before, and there definitely seems to be a pattern with who receives the brunt of her judgementalism and bitchiness.
6 of 7 | Posted by jazz hands | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:36 PM
Interesting, jazz hands. that definitely makes sense.
Why was Joey still wearing his hard hat in his girlfriend's car? I know it was a piece of shit but it did have a roof right?
7 of 7 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:01 PM