HereKittyKitty did show up to work this week, but she was still so drunk that we had to lock her in B-side's old office with bottles of Ibuprofen and Evian. Seriously, the woman is acting like a maniac. She's been singing the "I Wear Short Shorts" commercial all morning. Alcohol is very, very bad.
Anyhoo, no more time to waste. We have a very (typical) happening episode of The Real World to get underway, so let's do this!
Previously on The Real World: Trishelle noted that Frank didn't have a type (got a giner? Come on over!) and poor Brynn sat by the pool burping her baby and considering drowning it to go back to her life of dirty, dirty dancing. Do it! There are only two episodes left! Something exciting has to happen at some point this season!
Get rid of that thing, already!
Frank tells us that what you're supposed to do in Vegas (when you've been ragged on for the past few years for being a Ken Doll crotched wuss with no game) is get as wasted as possible and make out with strangers in a bar. He tells one hook up "If I never see you again, great ass!" Then he falls down. Ouch. It hurts when good boys try to be bad. Steven's pretty grossed out. As he explains it, the drunker you get, the more hideous your lays get.
I'll have 19 vodka tonics, please.
Frank and Steven try to decide which uggo ho they brought home has an STD and Steven guesses it's the one he banged. She denies it, but he basically tells her she may not have had one, but she does now. EW! That would be funny if I didn't know in my soul that Frank has become a petri dish. I'm going to soak my privates in rubbing alcohol. BRB.
Arissa and Brynn have girl time in the bathroom. Arissa says that seeing Brynn with a baby makes her want one and Brynn snaps "WAIT!" LOL. Don't worry. Arissa is gonna wait until she's ready. Or until she finds someone drunk enough to fill her turkey baster. Brynn says that once you have a kid, you only hang out with people who have kids, and then that's all you talk about and soon you don't know how to relate to anyone else in the world. Arissa already has that problem, so maybe it is time to fertilize.
Today, the roomies get to attend the Real World 20 casting call! EXCITING!! Alton decides he hasn't been getting enough attention this year, so he puts on this mask:
Oh, Alton. You're such a card.
Down at the nightclub, the casting director is telling the roomies what to look for in a contestant. They have to be charismatic, and they have to have a lot of depth. Frank and I say "Yeah, right" at the exact same time. Jinx! Frank owes me a Coke! BTW, he looks like complete crap.
Looks like you caught a bad case of the uggo from your last lay.
Trishelle talks the girls into finding Frank a ho for the night. Well, she says she wants to find him a nice girl, "not a Vegas girl" or a B actress. Honey, I don't think a nice girl's gonna go up to the room to f**k your friend, but what do I know?
You're hired!
The girls get to judge one group, and the boys get another. One girl likes to be in public, one's addicted to sex, and one severely homely girl says she's the coolest person she knows. Her friends must all look like this:
They don't have much luck finding a girl for Frank until the very end.
Sure! I'll blow your friend for a callback!
Brynn looks severely depressed looking at this girl. Neither the guys or the gals find anyone right for the show, but Trishelle proudly tells Frank that they found a couple girls for him to date. He thinks that makes him look like a loser. No, Frank. This does:
Trishelle's also gonna take him to the spa to get him pretty and he asks "What could they make better?"
Seriously?
There's a Pretty Woman montage of Frank trying on everything he can in the Playboy store, but he never gets to the after part. You can put prints, pink, silk, or leather on a cracker, but it's still a cracker.
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Comments (3)
Flipit I love your recaps so much!
My theory with Trishelle is this...since she is trying to be a "serious actress" now I think she is only doing nice things for her roomates in order to give her a nice girl image. She is usually remembered for being a drunk ho bag, so if she does nice things for others we are all supposed to think she is the girl next door and want to see her in movies.
I have had it with Frank. He is not attractive at all, and he has the nerve to put down those girl's looks? Please! Nobody is buying that you are some crazy party animal guy who gets really hot girls. You are a loser, just like you were five years ago, only now it's not at all endearing.
1 of 3 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on June 29, 2007 7:05 AM
FRANK! What a mess. I kept wondering why Trishelle was so interested in Franks love life. A little telling, perhaps?
2 of 3 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on June 29, 2007 8:53 PM
So....I live in Alaska, and we do ,in fact, have MTV. I actually didn't think that Miss Alaska was that bad, comparatively speaking. When did Frank turn into such a douche? I really don't remember him doing much of anything the first time around. Anyway....great recap, Flipit! Of course, you always write great recaps!
3 of 3 | Posted by satellite715
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Posted on July 2, 2007 12:07 AM