Oh man! I wish I hadn't used The Rape of Tommy Gavin, as last week's Rescue Me recap title! But it's too perfect not to use again here (with some modifications). Remember over the past few weeks when there was all this "rape" speculation swirling around Tommy and Janet's penchant for angry, rough sex? Those were the good ol' days, because this week we get pure, unadulterated rape from none other than scorned Sheila! Last week we saw how crazy she can be when attacking her kitchen, now we get to see how crazy she can be when attacking Tommy's meatstick. Yikes. Sex was a major issue with everyone this week as developments on the Tommy & Angela Axis of Evil vs. The Dark Emperor's Janet & Johnny team heated up and the Probie Gaywatch continued to surprise (is that a LADY, you're chattin' up there Probie?). Alas, Lou still isn't getting any, but let's focus on the positive, shall we?
Speaking of sex, it's only appropriate that the episode start off with the great Porno Hunt of 2006. Something tells me that B-Side might still be covering Treasure Hunters if they took a page from the FDNY Headquarters Porno Squad's sticky book. Capt. Jerry walks in mid-raid, as the Porno Squad is coming up empty. Capt. Jerry goes on a rant defending his firemen. Capt. Jerry tells the guy leading the Porno Squad, who is an old firefighter buddy of of his who is now a fireman-bureaucrat (aren't they the worst kind) to go back to HQ and tell the big boss man to kiss his white Irish ass.
DON'T WORRY. THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW
If his guys want to rub one out to relax in between running in and out of burning buildings then so be it. I never thought I'd be on such a pro-circle jerk bandwagon, but Capt. Jerry makes an amazingly valid point. If these incredibly brave guys want to spend their down time sodomizing midgets or watching midgets get sodomized on DVD, then by God, we owe that much. Peace out Porno Squad leader! The boys start applauding the Capt. but they aren't about to pull the cumrag over Capt. Jerry's eyes. He opens the door to the Ladder 62 fire truck, and the hidden porn stash suddenly appears. Now just imagine the Fogals or Wild Hanlons finding that, and you've got an episode of Treasure Hunters that is worth recapping.
Colleen is at her school's grief counselor, with Tommy on hand for moral support and some piggyback therapy. Colleen can't understand why she's there, as she doesn't see the problem with calling her French teach a bitch and smacking a classmate. Tommy defends her actions: "Well, she is French..." The grief counselor starts asking Colleen about Connor, but Colleen cuts her off saying that yes, she's sad. She used to cry a lot and it didn't help. So she stopped crying and started kicking ass and taking names. She feels much better now. Sounds like a good grief strategy to me. The GC tells Colleen that she just needs some time to process her grief.Collen's very Gavin-like respone? "Process these bitch!"
THAT'S SOOOO NOT W.J.W.D.
Colleen leaves the room, and Tommy starts asking very thinly veiled questions about his own grief. I mean, Michael Jackson inquiring about adopting at a Boys' Orphanage is more subtle than Tommy is right now. He asks the GC what the top 3 reasons for "Colleen's" crying jags could be. Just to make it a little more festive the GC counts them down a la The Late Show with David Letterman. Okay, she didn't but I will! I even want Paul Schaeffer making inane comments in the background. The top 3 reasons for "Colleen's" Crying Jags Are:
3) Hormones
2) Trouble Expressing Herself
And the top reason for "Colleen's" Crying Jags issssss:
1) Survivor's Guilt!
LET'S HERE MORE ABOUT THIS SURVIVOR'S GUILT YOU SPEAK OF
Tommy loves this survivor's guilt theory. That explains everything for him, err, Colleen. The next step, of course, is medication. What kind of pills can we put "Colleen" on? Cricket. Not even a half dose? Cricket. Bummer.
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Comments (11)
Anybody know who played Paula ?
1 of 11 | Posted by Commander Appo
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Posted on July 19, 2006 3:05 PM
Thanks for the speedy recap! Very funny!
2 of 11 | Posted by JillsBoss
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Posted on July 19, 2006 3:43 PM
Loved the Buffy reference.
3 of 11 | Posted by CTVampSlayer
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Posted on July 19, 2006 6:35 PM
(Sigh). The only character for whom I can muster any sympathy is poor, suffering Sheila. She lost her husband and was then seduced by Tommy, who encouraged her to place all her hopes in him, then he takes his dick on a sentimental family journey. What's next, incest with his "lesbian" daughter? This is one seriously fucked up anti-hero.
They need to resolve some of the loose ends they keep leaving behind every week. I agree the Franco situation is ludicrous to the max. The CrazyTaty-Sean antics are getting a bit too hard-core kinky for even this show, along with Probie's stupid search for his sexuality. I mean, how does such a dumbass pass the entrance exams to firefighter school? Come on!
I think the best recurring theme is how these reprobates, albeit brave, men can go from from hero to sleaze and back continuously. I know Leary is an admirer of the FDNY, but I would resent his deliberate and persistent theme of firefighters shamelessly exploiting the 9/11 theme to get pussy and other favors.
4 of 11 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:22 AM
Umnata, thanks for the quick recap. I think this show is great and yet so hard to recap. There's so much going on! I knew you were going to have to mention the rape of Tommy Gavin in the title again - no questions this time.
I agree with Tony A. that the writer for Franco's character is on vacation or something. The storyline is not working. Franco has had his lapses as a "good" father, but I can't believe he would let the girl go so easily.
CrazyTati probably likes violent men because her brothers and (probably) her father are violent. You learn what you live. Why Sean sticks with her is beyond me - she's controlling and just plain crazy.
Aaand speaking of crazy, Sheila really lost it. Despite what she did, I too have sympathy for her. She lost her husband, allows herself to love someone else and now her son is growing up and Tommy is pulling back. She just doesn't want to lose another man. It's very sad.
I do love this show. Complex emotions, humor, drama and sex. What more could a girl want?
5 of 11 | Posted by TaxGirl
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:42 AM
" take note that Tommy has now had unprotected sex with Janet twice and Sheila once. I wonder how long until that male Gavin heir that PopaBear has been squawking about pops up (I'm assuming that Tommy used a condom with Mrs. Statutoryrapeody, because, well, gross). "
I'm thinking that he did NOT wear a condom with Mrs. Statutoryrapeody because wasn't he worried about Chlamydia? I'm wondering when are we going to see Tommy explain to all these women how he gave them an STD?
Wow, Sheila! I don't know how to react to that special brand of crazy. But yet, I feel sorry for her, mixed with more than a touch of disgust.
6 of 11 | Posted by msCCRN
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Posted on July 20, 2006 12:15 PM
It would appear that Sheila committed the perfect crime. Tommy doesn't know and no one knew she was there. She would have gotten away with too, if it weren't for that meddling Big C! All these people are going to get it, right?
7 of 11 | Posted by jrc2g
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:15 PM
wow, the real tommy rape scene was just as disturbing as the first psuedo rape.
as for probie, don't think he's gay just needy. He could possibly be bi, but i think he's like those straight chicks who get their affection where they can.
8 of 11 | Posted by karnak
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Posted on July 21, 2006 3:51 AM
Tequila Sheila is one rabbit and one boiling pot away from being the best psychobitch EVER. Damn, I love her.
Eventually there has to be a mushroom cloud of STD and illegitimate children within a 2 mile radius of the firehouse, right?
9 of 11 | Posted by HicksPub
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Posted on July 24, 2006 6:02 AM
Now even I am getting sick of seeing Tommy screwing all the female leads. The Shelia rape was way creepy.
I have no idea who that woman is blue screaming next to the porno stash is, but the pic made me laugh.
10 of 11 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on July 24, 2006 6:18 PM
Juat one more comment. Presumably Sheila ground a Viagra in Tommy's drink and he was hard even though passed out. Viagra and the other aids don't work unless the desire is there. Just popping the pill does not produce a hard-on on demand. No way Sheila could have had her way with Tommy.
11 of 11 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on July 25, 2006 9:51 AM