Angela and Tina Unite To Become The Voltron of Suckiness - 
by B-Side
Just in case we didn't think this season of Road Rules: X-Treme was lame enough, the good people at Bunim/Murray decided to double our pleasure by bringing back a host of familiar but amazingly unwelcomed faces to the proceedings. Dave, Chris, Abram, Mary Beth, Cara, and Tina from Road Rules: South Pacific returned for an intense X-Treme reunion that played out like a trip to a country fair. Yes, it was that most beloved of Road Rules traditions: the two-episode battle with the previous season. Where else can we find out what our latest Bunim/Murray superstars are up to? I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. Where else can we reaffirm our disdain for the Bunim/Murray superstars? Okay, okay, it's not that hard to reaffirm the disdain -- half these people spend the greater part of the year rehashing their fights and stagnating their maturation process on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I just still don't understand why the producers reintroduce past Road Rulers as if we the audience have been waiting on pins and needles all year long for this moment. Oh how I pine for the moment when I can hear Tina's sweet boar voice shattering mirrors throughout my apartment!
Before any shenanigans with Road Rules alumni could get underway, Angela had to administer some X-Treme psychotherapy to Derrick. Acting as if she were the first one to notice this, Angela gave Derrick a random alcohol intervention in some shady public bathroom. Normally, I'd applaud Angela for being the one person to finally take the time to address Derrick's questionable drinking habbits, but in this case, I think she's less concerned about his liver and more excited to simply talk down to him. I swear I could see a smirk of delight when Angela laid on the guilt by saying things like "You're just like your parents" and "Don't tell me your girlfriend dumped you because of your drinking." Derrick was practically ready to hand over his soul to her by the end of this session.
It was sort of a random note to start the show on, but it didn't take long for Road Rules to veer back into banal territory as the beautiful but English-challenged Mission Mayors introduced the South Pacific jerks. Missing from this clan was Christina (sadly), Donnell (thankfully), and Jeremy (who?). The good news for us was that Dave and Mary Beth are fairly normal and inoffensive. The bad news was that Chris has become even more righteous, and the ugly news was that Tina still exists. Meanwhile Abram - the misunderstood ejectee from last season - has now morphed into a ball of hyperactive suck. Sadly, he has been given a false notion of celebrity from his TWO seasons (in one year!) of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and therefore he thinks he is just a riot. Oh those witty asides. If only I could give the camera a rasberry as well as he!
The two teams met at what was dubbed "Face Off Island". So did the creative team behind Super Mario Brothers name this mission? Actually, to be fair, the episode would have been a whole lot more entertaining with this music in the background. Anyway, Chris - who appears to be using Just For Men for his chronic graying - said that he wanted to know how extreme the new guys really are. Uh, well, they drew pictures of trees and ate blood sausage. Does that count?
|
| | Next Page... 1 | 2 | 3 ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums |