If there ever was a need to study dumb girl logic, tonight's episode of Road Rules X-Treme should be preserved. Bunim/Murray managed to capture all the explanations and rationalizations a girl can come up with to mask her transparent jealousy of another female peer. In this case, Angela - whose neck is still being held hostage by a big, blue flower - detailed every silly, petty flaw she could find in Jillian and used it to build a feeble case for the newbie's character assassination. At first I thought Angela was right - after all, she did say she was mature and everything; so therefore I just assumed that her observations would be well stated and free of middle school playground influences. But then I came to realize that when Angela said she was mature, she meant immature, which made a lot more sense because there was no way any rational, thoughtful, or introspective adult would ever make the comments she was making.
It only took about three seconds into the episode before Angela began babbling about Jillian and how awful she was. In a typical display of catty jealousy, Angela rattled off a laundry list of bad Jillian qualities which ranged from the petty (her voice) to the amazingly petty (the way her hair moves when she talks). I was surprised she did say something like "You know the way Jillian breathes? In and out? It's so obvious she thinks that air is all hers. She's such a stupid bitch."
At a fancy restaurant, Angela continued to pour her boring heart out to a patient Nick who did his best to teach his dinner mate about the tenets of Empathy, a weird fringe religion often practiced by kooky "selfless" people. Freaks. It turns out that Angela would rather bitch and moan about Jillian than ever take the time to get to know her. That would therefore explain Angela's shallow description of her arch nemesis: "A sexual, dumb girl. I can't do the voice, thank God." Bad news Angela. You do the voice all too well.
Just when we thought the episode was going to move towards something - ANYTHING - else, Angela continued to blab about Jillian. She accused Jillian of using her sexuality as a form of communication (if that were the case, she certainly passed Public Speaking with flying colors). Using this logic, Angela deduced that the awkward pauses between the two were because Jillian's use of sexual cues had no effect on Angela. I guess that's it. I was thinking there were lingering silences because Angela's a raging bitch.
Well, when someone new grabs the spotlight, there's only one thing that an attention-seeking downer can do: threaten to leave. Angela went into this week's competition wanting to fail so she could be sent home. Wait, did I say "so she could be sent home"? I meant "so she could be told by the whole team how wonderful and essential she is". Paying homage to grumpy kindergartners across the country, Angela put on a pouty face and did a little "If you don't pay attention to me, I'm gonna run away!" She probably should have executed that plan before tonight's loathsome challenge, which involved collecting a cup of sweat from the team's bodies. And to answer your question, yes, it was disgusting to watch.
The good part about this mission - other than it reuniting us with the lovely mission mayors - was that no blindfold or bunjee chord was present. The bad part was that it was vile. Watching Jodi scraping beads of perspiration off of Derrick was wholly unnecessary. Kudos to MTV for raising the bar of televised excellence. Angela moped around like the supermodel she'll never be while Jillian and Patrick got busy doing some sort of piggy back dance that reminded me of Master Blaster from Mad Max. Speaking of which, I think we'd all enjoy a little Angela/Jillian Thunderdome action - except instead of "Two men enter, one man leaves", I'd fear that we'd get "Two catty princesses enter, two even cattier princesses leave".
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Comments (6)
Do I have to comment on every article you write?
It appears that I do.
Can we get a pic of this Angela with her Blue Flower choker please?
1 of 6 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on August 24, 2004 6:52 AM
If you read every article, you'd have already seen the pic you're looking for. ;-)
http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/road_rules/000194.html
(side note: J-Unit, why no links in comments?)
2 of 6 | Posted by buddha | Posted on August 24, 2004 7:27 AM
Buddha,
1) It helps me cut down I spam
2) Eventually we will upgrade to MT 3.x
3) Eventually we might create some forums.
3 of 6 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on August 24, 2004 8:31 AM
Ok, ok, so I don't read every article. But close :(
4 of 6 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on August 24, 2004 9:19 AM
anyone else totally repulsed by the sight of sweat in those beakers? who knew sweat was not the clear innocuous liquid you thought, rather some REALLY GROSS MURKY LIQUID.
hey, if you drank, say a handle the night before, and exercise and drink your sweat, is there still vodka in that?
5 of 6 | Posted by jash | Posted on August 24, 2004 9:52 AM
I think in the event they failed the mission, they should have had the chance to pass by drinking what sweat they had accumulated.
6 of 6 | Posted by madeyoulaugh | Posted on August 24, 2004 10:20 AM