Meanwhile, as a trail of snot bungee jumped out of Kina's nose, Derrick made his most romantic move yet: he fed cow rectum to his beloved Jersey Girl. It's not quite chocolate covered strawberries, but it did the trick. Kina swooned about how the two of them worked so well as a unit and how Derrick really was there for her in her time of need. Bunim/Murray's clunky juxtaposition of this love story with Danny's casual - and very sludgy, by the way - booting in the corner was forced and unintentionally comical. That the producers tried to create any sort of romantic significance to this freakshow meal was a joke unto itself. I'm surprised they didn't try to contrive any metaphors when heart was served.
Nevertheless, everyone continued to choke and gag their way through the challenge. I wonder if they knew that cow tongue is readily available at their local deli (I recommend Canter's sandwich in LA), or that the intestines they found so abhorrent are the things that keep hot dogs together? And maybe they forgot that they've probably ingested all these random cow parts in the last burger they gobbled up. I'd like to see them gag and cry over a nasty plate of cow loin - aka filet mignon. Funny how that sounds so appetizing when it's given a French touch.
Amazingly, this gluttonous challenge provided the first ounces of drama this series has seen this season. Ultimately, Danny's digestive system was booked to capacity, and he left too much meat on the leftover platter for Patrick to gulp down in five minutes. The team lost, and they melodramatically congealed in a group hug that reminded me of the final episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, or at least the opening credits of the Golden Girls. Betty White loves the group hug.
Moments later, Danny bawled at a picnic table. He's really come a long way to disprove the gay stereotypes of being weak in competition and quick to cry in hardship. Oh wait...
Since this wasn't the most triumphant of episodes for our troopers, Bunim/Murray dropped the Yellowcard-esque inspirational punk for the final segment and inserted some generic emo instead. Derrick lauded the virtues of Kina again, this time noting poetically that once you see a girl naked and drool on her, it's hard not to fall in love. And yet, for some reason, I can't help thinking that when you've been seen naked and drooled on, it's hard to reciprocate that romantic vibe.
As the episode came to a melancholy close, the group found a cute puppy wandering around. Even though they have no food, vaccinations, or discernible living space for the pup, the cast members still decided to adopt it as their own and make it the team mascot. Meanwhile, a kid is wandering around Santiago looking for his lost puppy. Way to go, guys. I'm sure the dog will be quickly thrown to the curb when everyone realizes that puppies aren't housebroken, and RVs smell up real quickly.
The real test is for Bunim/Murray. We know they'll show puke, but are they above dog poop?
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Comments (1)
R.I.P. Elijah
1 of 1 | Posted by Melis | Posted on June 29, 2004 11:51 AM