A quick comment or two or three before I pass out: I work in a comic book store and I noticed today that there's a book called Girl Bomb, no clue what it's about, just know it had a topless chicky on the cover.

CHICKbomb, another gold star recap.

Finally, does anyone else recognize the house these skanks are contaminating? No? It's the house from cycle 5 of America's Next Top Model.

Something tells me that Dallas couldn't make the cut for "Flavor of Love", so she went for the next possible thing. I never see her near or running after Bret. Your 15 minutes ended a long time ago. Be gone.

Grandma Rodeo, while not as trailer whore-ish as the rest, still skeeves me out. Watching her feel herself up made me regurgitate in my mouth a little. *urgh*

But nothing compares to seeing Bret's hideous man-weave cascading down some cheap looking pajamas. Did he buy them at Rave? Ugh.

I can't believe any one of these slags would have the chutzpah to make fun of another girl's boobs. They're all hideous. Show me one boob job that doesn't result in a canyon between the breasts, and I'll retract this statement. They look like very UNCOMFORTABLE people to hug...always assuming you've had your vaccinations, of course.

Oh, you missed the *very* best part of Clown Whore's parting words. Soon after she made the bringing home to mother comment, she turned to her left and spit. *tee hee*

How tall is Bret? Like, 5'4"? Some of these tore-up ho-bags tower over him. (Manvoice Magdalena, for example.)

Also, the hair...crikey. He should go the Metallica and/or Bon Jovi route and just chop it off or get some decent hair plugs.

While reading this recap, I saw the last picture of Bret in the...I'll call it "cowboy" get up (for lack of a better word), and thought to myself, "Oh! Which girl is that???" Obviously I did not watch the show this week.

Bret needs to lay off the botox, collagen, facial peels, make up and bad weave. He's starting to look more like a "Real Housewife of Orange County." Perhaps there's a cameo in his future?

Shaz-
Do you get that impression because she's black?

Rock Star, it wasn't meant to be a racial thing, so I apologize if it came off that way. I was going to add an "America's Next Top Model" reference, but I was sticking with VH1 reality shows, as they're highly more dramatic. Sorry for the confusion.

Did anyone else notice how it seemed like they spelled "varsity" wrong the first time? Like, "Varcity"? And instead of making a new sign, they changed the "c" to an "s". HA!

Also, both Erin's and Brandi C's enormous boobs make them both look heavier than they are. It's like their chins rest right on their big grammaw chests.

If you really want to laugh, go to VH1's "official" ROL webpage (http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/rock_of_love/series_photos.jhtml) and peruse the portait photos of these women. Most of them are meant to be in their late 20's-early 30's, and yet they look like they're pushing 50. Hard living, I guess. *shudders* Clown whore in particular looks extremely hagridden. Choose the "All photos" option.

I read Brandi C is a porn star. I think it was bricksandstonesgossip.com.. I will double check over the weekend and get back with confirmation.

OK I have confirmed it is Dlisted.com that has the story. You have to go back 3 pages or so...

http://www.dlisted.com/node?page=3

Can't we change annoying Brandi C's nickname to the Joker? Is it just me or does she look exactly like Jack Nicholson as the Joker in the original Batman?

IM sorry for all the posts.. on the link above for Dlisted, you just stay on the page and scroll down. If you go to the site without linking then you go back a few pages.

Another excellent recap! I'm impressed.

However, Lacey? After banging on about how she's in a touring band and how good she is, her singing at the studio was horrible. I literally cringed.

And personally, I'm not with Dallas at all. She's such a bitter bitch. She hates everyone, I've never even seen her talk to Bret and I can't figure out why she's there.

"Then we are told that "Dr." Roy will be attaching some kind of blood flow measuring apparatus to Bret's privates to gauge the reaction of each girl's dirty talk. So he's admittedly not a real doctor, but you're letting him hook up electromagnetic wires to your penis? I sense more producer trickery at hand, but remember, we're going with the flow on this (pun totally intended)."

HILARIOUS!

Great recap, chickbomb, keep up the good work (and with no tivo? impressive!)

chickbomb, your nicknames are FAR superior...and they're actually pertinent. "varsity squad" doesn't really ring of inflated petrie dish the way it should.

you wanna feel for the guy, but then he puts on eyeliner and tongues his grandma...its very hard to watch.

and another thing...

i'm sad to say i've come to the conclusion that i'd actually have to side with hooters on this one.

she said she was engaged, but isn't anymore. is that so hard to understand? yet if she still WAS engaged, in reality how does someone pull that off? "honey, MENSA's holding their annual brain-a-thon in LA this year so i'll be back in a few weeks....or days....whichever." if she actually slid out the door away from this guy, i'm gonna have to put my money on the fact that once the show aired she wouldn't have to worry about a fiance for long anyway.

were these girls really picked for their high moral standards? c'mon now.