Clearly Bret is in no mood, so when it comes time to officially kick another slag off the bus, he just wants to do a quick session in the tanning bed and get down to it. One S gets the first pass, as he has finally learned about her soul. OK pal, listen. You've gone to bed early, forewent mud wrestling, gotten jealous of someone from N'Sync and learned about a woman's soul. I don't know what you did with Bret, but please bring him back.
Mia gets the next pass. The only theory I have is that she's blowing Big John. Badass gets the one after that, and Hooters tells us that she's just a drunk. Oh, that's IT. I will throw down for Badass, bitch. I hope you and your circus boobs do go home. Oh, and if anyone I know is reading this, can you please do a ROL intervention? I'm starting to sound like them.
Class Menagerie
Lacey and her crazy eyes (Bret's words!) are next, provided she agrees to not kill him in his sleep. Since Magdalena already promised to not murder him, she gets a pass too. Cool Sam, wearing something from the Jaclyn Smith for Kmart collection, is next. Well, he'll have no choice but to look you in the eyes in that getup, but I'd make sure and wear lycra next time, honey.
Hooters, who knows it's all over, tells us at this moment that she wasn't about to lower herself to stripper / whore level. She's better than Flasher, and she'll flat out say it. Hooters only whores it up for the Billboard Top 100.
After a very, very, very long speech, Bret bets on Flasher. As he bids Hooters farewell, he tells her that he bought it (rose!), but he didn't know if she meant it (thorn!). Bye-bye starfucker, says Flasher. I swear, if I hear it one more time....and I wouldn't be so high and mighty about it either, Flash. You're on cable reality competing for the singer from Poison. You're a wannabe-has been-fucker.
Well, Hooters sure isn't bothered by the end of her tour. She has plenty of men waiting for her back in Chicago, she tells us. And paying customers don't like to be kept waiting. She caps it off with the declaration that she has had bigger and better stars than Bret Michaels. I believe it. I bet you she even has her very own cushion under the VIP table at the Underground.
Run! You can still catch JT!
Bret's nightly ho toast comes with a warning that he knows everything that happens in the house. Ummm, not so much pumpkin, those slag babes really took control this week. Don't worry though, next week it looks like he's got them digging through dumpsters for love, which should knock those bitches in their place and bring his mojo back. Til then dolls... this has been Soft Rock of Love.
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Comments (7)
I can't believe we don't get the recap on Grandma Rodeo leaving! I was so excited for your take on it!!!
I felt like she played up this missing her son stuff to get close to Bret and was devastated when he let her go for it... "I wasn't ready to leeeeeave....."
Anyhow, I find it ironic that Flasher calls someone else a starfucker if she really did the deed with Vanilla Ice!
1 of 7 | Posted by dent
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Posted on August 16, 2007 6:09 AM
i knew i saw hooters erin working at UG a few weekends ago - you cant mistake those hooters! that night her "bigger and better stars" consisted of r kelly. flasher and scab girl are totally annoying though - i would have preferred hooters over them.
2 of 7 | Posted by chicago
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Posted on August 16, 2007 7:56 AM
I tried to watch this show but after about 10 minutes I had an incredible urge to shower. Then I turned the channel to BBAD and took one look at Dick, another shower. There's a saying, Old Rocker's Never Die......but for the love of hygiene, please remove yourself from sight when you look like the Crypt Keeper's grandad with tatt's. YUCK!
3 of 7 | Posted by CheriesTake
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Posted on August 16, 2007 9:13 AM
I wanted Heather to go cause I think she looks like a man. I didn't have anything against Erin and come on, I can't blame her for wanting to be where JT was going to be, he's only about a million times more relevant than Bret and hotter,and younger... I really want Heather and Lacey to get eliminated but I think Bret is keeping Heather around till she tattoos his name on her body. I hope she does and then he boots her ass,that would be so funny. Anyways, great recap as usual :)
4 of 7 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on August 16, 2007 9:36 AM
Hilarious! I missed these recaps.
But damn, is Lacey a broken record or what? "You don't cross me and get away with it. I'm going to pick these girls off one by one. I need alone time with Bret. I'm going to take these girls out." SHUT UP! We get it!
I want Badass to win. I love her. Also, although I think Jes is beautiful and wouldn't mind if she won, did anyone else notice her DISGUSTING shoulder blades protruding from her skin during elimination? She may not be "Clavical Jes" (just for the record, it's "clavicle", Heather), but something is up with her back. It was apalling.
Hopefully Typekey won't make me post millions of times...
5 of 7 | Posted by Joe Blow
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Posted on August 16, 2007 11:37 AM
Great recap as usual. I must say that I also miss the recap for Grandma Rodeo's departure. I don't actually watch this crap so your recaps are my only source of what happened. It sounds like it would have been a fun episode to snark on.
6 of 7 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 17, 2007 10:00 AM
just for the record, it's "appalling", joeblow
7 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on August 24, 2007 4:50 AM