Sorry dolls, I know this Rock of Love is way overdue, but ChickBomb became Aunt ChickBomb this week and it's hard to find time for recap writing with this full schedule of staring at the most adorable baby in the world. Everyone puking? Great, then let's get started.
Now we're down to the Skankalicious Six. Bret says something about dropping Magdalena, and I'm surprised she rated a commentary at all. He notes that some of them are stepping up, and some need help. Like Mia. She's in the background, and at this point I think she's lucky he even remembers her name.
Bret says he has "serious work" to do. In the jet propulsion lab? No, in the studio, so he's taking off for a day or so. One S Jes tells us she wants Psycho Lacey gone, and Lacey says everyone needs to watch out because there's a target on each of them. No way, they're all targets? Just a shot in the dark here, but do you think you might be planning on picking them off one by one?
Most shocking scene of the episode.
This week's clue tells the ho's to "strike a pose". Sam knows that she's going to win, because she's done lots of modeling for her friends who are photographers. I picture her modeling somewhere totally random, like the floor of the cereal aisle in the supermarket, for a faux arty dude in a beret saying things like "I want to see the pain in your eyes as you gaze at those Cocoa Krispies....yeah, this shot is deeeeeep..."
When they get to the (p)ho-to shoot, there's a car, clothes, props and photographer named Evo Lopez, who is an old friend of Bret's. The babes will be creating an original album over concept and title, and shooting an album cover. Of course Psycho Rocker Lacey tells us she's a touring musician so she knows all about album covers. Isn't a touring musician someone whose music no one wants to record? Lacey might know '86 Dodge van décor, but album covers? Don't think so.
One S Jes, Psycho Lacey and Sam are grouped together, as are Badass, Flasher and Mia. There is one creative director, and two models per team. The winning models get a tandem date, and the winning creative director gets a solo date.
One S and Mia want to be creative directors, One S because despite what she says, she's got a huge crush on Bachelor Bret, and Mia cause time's running out and she knows it. On Team Mia, Mia starts babbling about innocence. Flasher informs her they're not innocent, grabs some hot pink lingerie and gets down to business.
Mia says Flasher looks like a drag queen. Nothing new there, but then Badass comes up with the colossally terrible idea that she should dress as a man. Way to make those lesbian fears Bret has about you go away, doll. What the hell is she thinking? She looks like a guy named Roy who drives a big rig up through the Ozarks.
If Brett has a truckstop restroom bj fetish, Badass is his man.
I have nothing good to say about Badass and her cross dressing experiment. It's totally stupid and looks bad, but I'm fond of Badass so I did think it was funny. The toss up for album titles is "Broken Road" or "Breakthrough". Meek Mia tries half-heartedly to have an opinion, but Flasher flat out says that she plans on ignoring Mia and doing her own thing.
Over on Team One S, Lacey is all about some S&M idea. She wants to play dominatrix. Sam counters with an idea of good vs. evil, casting Lacey as the devil, of course. Someone tosses out "When Love Dances With The Devil" as an album title. Soooo Bret. Lacey says it was her idea, but I really can't tell who spit it out first.
Once on set, Lacey wastes no time before she's disagreeing with all the shots and telling everyone what to do. Badass pokes her head into the shoot and reports that the angel / devil thing has been done. Lacey says Jes is a terrible creative director, and in reality she'd be fired. Well, in reality, you wouldn't be able to pay someone to let you model for their album cover, so just shut up. Jes says Lacey can't work well with others. Even the photographer can't deal with her.
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Comments (5)
Thank You for The Funny!
I watched only bits and pieces of the show, but read every word of your recap!
Plastic Snakes!!
Love the perspective, I am soooo right there with you.
BadassButch is def tightening up her lesbo creds.
Esp. because he wears makeup,Badass did look ALOT like Bret, bandana and all, just dif colored fake hair! Too funny.
Lacey = Evilish.Hahahahaha
1 of 5 | Posted by sweetleaf
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Posted on September 2, 2007 6:06 PM
Chickbomb! Congrats on the new nephew!! I was wondering where the heck the recap was...I am addicted like Bret is to his hideous coats, roadkill hats, and groupie donated hair weaves!!! Keep up the great work!!!!
2 of 5 | Posted by Lloyd Dobbler
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Posted on September 3, 2007 12:39 AM
Badass is a porn star!
http://www.bourgy.com/brandi-m-facial-01.html
~ DEFINITELY NSFW ~
3 of 5 | Posted by Memememe
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Posted on September 3, 2007 2:02 PM
I cannot believe I've gotten sucked into this show.
I loved the part where Bret told Mia he couldn't talk to her because "I made dinner for everyone, and I'm really running late." Bret COOKS? Was that the best brush-off excuse he could come up with at a moment's notice?
4 of 5 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on September 4, 2007 9:12 AM
As much as I hate her,after this week's episode I gotta admit that Flasher seems to be the most compatible with Bret. Although I would love to see him kick her to the curb after she got the tattoo. Great recap and congrats on the new nephew :)
5 of 5 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on September 5, 2007 12:21 AM