Badass, in full dude gear, says her balls tell her she's gonna win. That's wonderful, cause Bret's balls are gonna shrivel up and die when he sees a girl he wants to do looking like a dude sitting at Denny's eating biscuits and gravy. Pathetic Mia has no chance with Flasher in all her glory, draped all over the car in cheap neon lingerie. Mia stands by offering crucial input, such as "Yeah, I like that" and "Look over there."
The Devil Went Down on Georgia
When the babes get home, Flasher and Lacey talk shit about their teams. They both think they did the creative director job for their respective teams. Then the ho's receive a letter from Evo with proofs. In Jes's team's letter, Evo says they need a good presentation. He doesn't understand what the album cover represents? Heaven and hell, duh. Have you met Bret? He loves clichés. He'll totally get it.
Flasher's group has bigger problems. Evo doesn't understand what is going on with the photo. The positive is the car. The negatives are everything else. Now, dressing Badass up as a gas station attendant from Arkansas was a bad, bad idea, but make no mistake, it was all Badass. And she admits it, but doesn't make any apologies, just casually tosses the blame onto Mia - she was creative director. It was her job to stop Badass.
Flasher just wants Mia to sit in the corner, be quiet and let her run the show. The name is Broken Road. It means Bret is manly and strong. Now where's my body glitter?
More slag drama ensues (yawn) as Jes and Lacey need to discuss issues. Jes is over Lacey - she thinks Lacey is too strategic, and acts like it's a game. Lacey agrees that she does think it's a game, but she also thinks Bret would appreciate that. Then we get another reminder of how these girls are in her way. We know, in the way, targets, getting picked off, now go tend to your herpes scab.
I think we should just go with this pic of a scab and call it a day.
Jes tells Lacey she talks down to people, because Lacey told Jes that Lacey should do the presentation. And One S Jes with her super cool shades and spiky hair that Bret's afraid to touch would NEVER talk down to anyone. Lacey doesn't shut up. She continues to list everything she did on the shoot. Then she tells us that riling them up is only part of her strategy. Ugh, I hate to give that lame bitch any credit, but if that really is her plan, it's totally working.
Bret's stoked to see the album covers, cause he wants to see where they think his career should be. Listen, you've got ate-up groupies shooting your album covers on a VH1 reality show. Now is not the time to sit down and evaluate your career.
First up is Flasher's cover. Well, Mia's cover, but let's be honest. The only winner on this one was whoever did Badass's hair and makeup, cause Bret really thought it was a dude. Nobody gets the cover, and the girls have to go to lots of trouble to convince Bret that the grey hair guy isn't meant to be him. Seriously, you cannot toy with washed up rock star ego like this. Then they tell him that their title "Broken Road" is supposed to mean something about hitting an all time low. Way to stand by your man, sluts.
No! It's not you at all!! The fake hair's totally different!
Mia says ummmm a lot, and there's plenty of awkward silence. "Here's what I like", Bret finally musters, "the colors pop." More silence. "That's it," he concludes. He thinks the hottest looking thing on the album cover was the car. No biggie for Badass, cause she was incognito as Roy-The-Trucker-Who-Eats-Biscuits-And-Gravy-At-Denny's-And-Also-Pumps-Gas-In-Arkansas, but what about Flasher humping the car in her pink bikini? I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only place Flash's broken road is going is Just Friendsville.
Jes's group fares much better. Lacey really does look like the devil. Bret liked it, a little girl on girl, a little heaven and hell, that's what I'm talking about, he enthuses. But what's original about it, he wonders? Nothing really, making it the perfect album cover for a washed up 80's hair bander.
« Recap: I Wanna Be A Soap Star: Drama Queens | Main | Recap: Big Brother: Dolphin Crash »
Comments (5)
Thank You for The Funny!
I watched only bits and pieces of the show, but read every word of your recap!
Plastic Snakes!!
Love the perspective, I am soooo right there with you.
BadassButch is def tightening up her lesbo creds.
Esp. because he wears makeup,Badass did look ALOT like Bret, bandana and all, just dif colored fake hair! Too funny.
Lacey = Evilish.Hahahahaha
1 of 5 | Posted by sweetleaf
|
Posted on September 2, 2007 6:06 PM
Chickbomb! Congrats on the new nephew!! I was wondering where the heck the recap was...I am addicted like Bret is to his hideous coats, roadkill hats, and groupie donated hair weaves!!! Keep up the great work!!!!
2 of 5 | Posted by Lloyd Dobbler
|
Posted on September 3, 2007 12:39 AM
Badass is a porn star!
http://www.bourgy.com/brandi-m-facial-01.html
~ DEFINITELY NSFW ~
3 of 5 | Posted by Memememe
|
Posted on September 3, 2007 2:02 PM
I cannot believe I've gotten sucked into this show.
I loved the part where Bret told Mia he couldn't talk to her because "I made dinner for everyone, and I'm really running late." Bret COOKS? Was that the best brush-off excuse he could come up with at a moment's notice?
4 of 5 | Posted by mandymax
|
Posted on September 4, 2007 9:12 AM
As much as I hate her,after this week's episode I gotta admit that Flasher seems to be the most compatible with Bret. Although I would love to see him kick her to the curb after she got the tattoo. Great recap and congrats on the new nephew :)
5 of 5 | Posted by MichyPR
|
Posted on September 5, 2007 12:21 AM