It all comes down to Sam and Lacey. Is Lacey really gonna go? I can't stand her, but what ever will I write about if she's gone? Psycho Lacey and her herpes scab are my best material. Bret's been reviewing old Bachelor tapes, so he tells us this elimination was the hardest one yet. He does a little fake out and makes it seem like Lacey really is done, but then he calls her down for her pass...and apologizes to her! She breaks down in sobs. He thinks she had a hard day. I think what goes around comes around (sometimes), so let the bitch cry.
Sam looks prettier than ever, and quite classy tonight. Flasher says Sam's pathetic, and I would direct her to check out the back of her neck before she calls anyone else pathetic. Bret says that it's killing him, but he hates seeing Sam go through what she does in the house, and he doesn't want her to snap. Also, he's tired of all the "look into my eyes" talks, but Bret really does seem like a nice person, so I think he was genuinely doing the right thing.
Sam has finally figured out that she really is too good for this, and she really seems like she's had a weight lifted off her. Friends, she asks him? Well, I was hoping more, he answers. Then they kiss, and it's a huge, fabulous kiss that goes on and on while the other ho's just stand around and watch. Sam's parting words are adorable. She says she thinks Bret rejected her in a loving way, and DID YOU SEE THAT KISS?!?! Fare thee well, Cool Sam. You earned your nickname back, doll.
Maybe it's time to buy some tops with sleeves and go back to Scarsdale...
Back inside, Lacey's still snotting. Badass offers a bravo, and wants to know where's Lacey's Oscar. It's amazing what a few tears will do, Lacey tells us with a smirk. I'm not saying anything, cause I really was nervous when I thought she was done.
And the good times are back, as Bret makes a toast to the "Fearsome Foursome"! Next week, they take a family bus trip to Vegas, and Badass pukes at the dinner table, so I'll be spending the rest of the week gearing up for that. Rock and roll, dolls. See ya then!
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Comments (14)
Best line ever? " He's over Sam and her suitcase full of buzz kill." My coffee has now made a burning trail back up my esophogus thanks to that comment, but it was totally worth it.
Of course he's not getting rid of Lacey. As you said, she provides the best nutter material, and VH1 is all about the ratings, so why give up such a golden nugget of trainwreck? Sam seems like the kind who does this stuff just to piss her rich parents off. She kinda looks like Kimberly Stewart, so she may as well head back to NY and hang with that crowd, now that she has a microgram of fame.
Love your recaps, Pimp Momma ChickBomb. Always look forward to them. I too think One S could win this hands down. But I have a feeling Flasher will be one of the last 2 slags standing.
BTW, love that you use the term "slag". It's one omy my faves.
1 of 14 | Posted by Shaz
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Posted on September 7, 2007 5:41 AM
I am not sure why, but I MUST see the Brandi pics. Where can I see them? And WHAT is wrong with me for WANTING to see them?
2 of 14 | Posted by sarahb
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Posted on September 7, 2007 5:54 AM
I am not sure why, but I MUST see the Brandi pics. Where can I see them? And WHAT is wrong with me for WANTING to see them?
3 of 14 | Posted by sarahb
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Posted on September 7, 2007 5:58 AM
Hey! I just wanted to give a big, ole ROCKIN' shout out to you, Chick Bomb, for the snarkalicious recaps. I gave up TV for a while so I rely on your insight into all the drama I am missing. I want you to know that although I haven't commented, I have been faithfully reading each installment.
ChickBomb - Will you stay and rock my world? ;-)
4 of 14 | Posted by subgenre
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Posted on September 7, 2007 6:22 AM
OK. Nevermind. I take it back. I found the pics. I wish I hadn't. :)
P/S I love your recaps ChickBomb: my favorite line of the week was: She accepts in a divine blue stripper costume, with her hair pinned up and neck exposed to show off Bret's proof of ownership.
That and the part about if she gets lost in at an ate up rock star convention, they'll know who she belongs to.
5 of 14 | Posted by sarahb
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Posted on September 7, 2007 6:26 AM
OK. Nevermind. I take it back. I found the pics. I wish I hadn't. :)
P/S I love your recaps ChickBomb: my favorite line of the week was: She accepts in a divine blue stripper costume, with her hair pinned up and neck exposed to show off Bret's proof of ownership.
That and the part about if she gets lost in at an ate up rock star convention, they'll know who she belongs to.
6 of 14 | Posted by sarahb
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Posted on September 7, 2007 6:29 AM
Did anyone but me think that Bret's SuperFans were just girls who weren't picked to be on the acutal show? I call casting fraud!!!
7 of 14 | Posted by gunnit
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Posted on September 7, 2007 8:41 AM
Do these girls forget they're all competing for the same man?? Why do they keep trying to talk each other into STAYING??? Only one of them is going to win - why not help the competition PACK???
Gee, wonder what Heather and Bret did in the limo after Bret's whole strategically-placed I have great sex after getting tattooed" speech.
Criminy, I still can't believe I actually care about this show.
8 of 14 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on September 7, 2007 8:49 AM
Great recap as usual :), I too was tired of Sam's "suitcase full of buzzkill" and am glad to see her go. I hope that Jes wins it. Also, I kinda liked Flasher's outfit with the pink and white camouflage pants, if I had that stomach I would probably wear clothes like that to show it off although she doesn't have any curves. Looking forward to next week's show and Badass' projectile vomiting lol.
9 of 14 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on September 7, 2007 10:06 AM
So Rock of Love is the rock & roll version of Flavor of Love.
And Lacey is New York.
Also if Heather isn't picked, she's gonna feel really, really stupid about getting that tatt.
10 of 14 | Posted by hollabackboy
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Posted on September 7, 2007 12:23 PM
this recap made me chortle on multiple occasions. bravo to another notch on your bedpost.
-the one superfan had been in the game for FOUR YEARS???? i was a tried and true poison fan in eighth grade when they hit their stride. this was in 1987-88 people. back when we didn’t know any better. i have kids and a 401k for fuck's sake.
-"wax your situation." love it.
-your "Why does everyone keep kicking me?" hand grenade caption was ART.
-sarahb's "Where can I see the Brandi pics?"
-sarahb's "Ok. Nevermind. I found the pics. I wish I hadn't."
after this episode it cinches my love for one s. she's always right on with her comments and i get the feeling she's a bit more in on the joke than the others. i said a bit. but that begs the question, if i'm really on her side...does that mean i want her to win...or to lose?
11 of 14 | Posted by k37744
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Posted on September 8, 2007 1:55 AM
My boss was looking over my shoulder as I read last week's recap and asked me what I was looking at (it just happened to be the close up of Badass dressed as a man)... so I had to explain myself... it was so embarrassing until all my co workers chimed in about how much they love this show. I directed them to this site so hopefully we have some new TVgasm/ChickBomb recap readers soon.
12 of 14 | Posted by McCreamy
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Posted on September 8, 2007 8:41 AM
What a bunch of funking bithces on this show. Do you know if they were pick up off the street. And where did did Michaels come from. He had no talent then, and it's obvious he doesn't have any now "Would you like to stay and rock my world?" This is trailer park crap and that's where ever single on of these girls will be in 5 years. I hope everyone that has ever know each of these girls is laughing their ass off on what an embarasement they have become. I will personally pay for an add in each local newspaper (so please e-mail me the names of each paper to dir65@aol.com, and I will write an article that every town will never forget.. and I guarantee each girl will never be able to look at their friends or family in the fact again). Seriously, send me the names of the papers and I will have something in by Oct 15h. These are just 80's whores, nothing more nothing less. John
13 of 14 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 11, 2007 1:47 AM
What a bunch of funking bithces on this show. Do you know if they were pick up off the street. And where did did Michaels come from. He had no talent then, and it's obvious he doesn't have any now "Would you like to stay and rock my world?" This is trailer park crap and that's where ever single on of these girls will be in 5 years. I hope everyone that has ever know each of these girls is laughing their ass off on what an embarasement they have become. I will personally pay for an add in each local newspaper (so please e-mail me the names of each paper to dir65@aol.com, and I will write an article that every town will never forget.. and I guarantee each girl will never be able to look at their friends or family in the fact again). Seriously, send me the names of the papers and I will have something in by Oct 15h. These are just 80's whores, nothing more nothing less. John
14 of 14 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 11, 2007 1:50 AM