First of all, I have to say, this episode was a big disappointment. These girls are not acting nearly slutty, drunk or crazy enough to entertain me. Scary Frenchy and International Male Inna come the closest, but they're also kind of sweethearts, and we know they're not hot enough for Bret to pick in the end. Also, Bret kind of seemed like he was just there for the paycheck this week. Sophomore slump? I'm definitely a little concerned, but I've got faith that the sleaze will somehow ooze its way through.

Anyway, we open with the morning after...and the first thing we need to do is take care of a little business. One of our lovely contestants, Drunk N' Chubby Courtney, proved just how important Bret was to her by passing out for eliminations, and it is now up to one of remaining hos to tell her that her tour is over. It falls to Rode Hard Peyton, who actually looks rode softer in the light of day then she did the night before - maybe it's her glasses that make her more palatable, I don't know.

Anyway, Drunk N' Chubby wakes up looking like hell and wondering what happened. She is genuinely surprised that there was elimination and she missed it. She throws a zebra striped blanket (from the Bret Michaels Home Collection) over her head, and says it sucks, because she came with the full intention of falling in love. Then she tells us she's a sweet girl...a caring girl...but also a blackout drunk girl. And if that's not what he wants, she concludes, then maybe he's better off. Well yeah, I mean sweet and caring are nice and all, but you gotta be sober to fuck him.

Priorities, doll.

And with another ho down, it's time to get to know a little about the hos we have left. Ethnic Sara opens up a whole world of trouble by casually mentioning to the group that her family doesn't know she's there, and her friends didn't believe she would actually join the Skank Bank. They dared her to go through with it. Did she learn nothing from last season's Hooters Erin's "I just broke up with my fiancé" admission? She may as well have painted a target on her back. I also notice while Sara is telling this story, she is applying Chanel make up. And that's how I know she's history. This is strictly a drugstore shopping, Wet n' Wild kind of crowd.

International Male Inna hears this news about Sara, and decides Bret must be informed. But she doesn't want to do it herself, so she passes the intel on to Manly Aubrey who she has already pegged as having a big mouth. This is one smart Russian. I'm keeping my eye on her. Cause sure enough, three seconds after Manly finds out the scoop, she's outside and tattling. Ladies and gentlemen, playing the role of "Lacey" this season, will be Manly Aubrey.

Glad you got that scabby lip taken care of.

"Give me a list of things you're looking for," Manly instructs Bret, but before he can answer, she does it for him. "Sincerity and honesty," she says. Um, I'm sorry Manly, unless we've accidentally stumbled onto The Bachelor here, I'm thinking...not. "Physical attraction and chemistry," Bret corrects her. Duh.

But Manly is not deterred. She plows forward with the news that Sara is here on a dare. And The Ego takes it remarkably well. He thinks that perhaps it is a good thing, because the relationship will form by accident. I don't get it, and I don't buy it either, but I'm happy to hear Manly's tattling get shot down.

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Posted in Rock of Love by ChickBomb at 4:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: wintersux on Jan 30, 2008 03:52 AM.