And it all comes down to CESM. She gets teary, and tells Bret that she has a feeling about one person. She's not one to throw someone under the bus, but she's about to say the truth, she continues. Who? Who? But CESM's gonna drag it out a little longer. This person puts on a façade at times, and it upsets me, she says. Who are you sabotaging already, Soccer Mom? Finally, she spits it out. It's Germy Joe, of course!
I haven't been this shocked since Kathie Lee left Regis eating her dust.
This is where I'm really loving CESM, by the way. Who knew she'd be the one to go balls out and tell it like it is about Germy? She calls Germy out on her daily insistence that she's leaving, and her constant passionate talk about her ex - CESM doesn't think Germy's over him. "You have a good heart," CESM concludes, "but you're not ready for this."
Germy is appalled. She was not expecting this from CESM. She tells CESM that her opinion doesn't matter, Bret's does. But now that CESM's fired up the boat, the rest of the hos are ready to waterski off the back of it like the Go-Gos. Butterface pipes in to say that Germy's war cry is "either way" - she's saying she doesn't care. Then Bisexual gets in on the action, and says that while they're all there sharing their feelings, Germy says nothing. Germy tells us she's getting pissed at the accusations. Yeah, truth hurts, doesn't it?
Finally, Germy smashes her hand on the table and yells, "Do you want a fucking answer or not?" Bisexual is even more infuriated. "How dare she!" Bisexual snarls. Finally, having received the signal from producers that they have enough catfight on tape, Bret interjects to tell Germy that he knows she's not there for the hos, but is she there for him? He can't say he buys it. And considering what Germy's selling ain't worth more than one thin dime, that's saying a lot.
This should be her headshot.
Bret wraps it up with a warning that if anyone's not here for him, he will find out - oh yes, he will find out - and they will go. The rest of the hos nod emphatically, but then Bret snaps at them that it goes for all of them. He storms away from the table saying he's pissed and he wants to be left alone. Translation: His baby mama wants him home with her and the kids tonight, and he's already running late.
But he doesn't get a chance, cause five minutes later, a production assistant comes frantically chasing after him to tell him that Germy's upstairs packing. Again. So Bret trudges back in, with the excuse that he took some time to chill, but now he needs to talk to Germy. Again.
He finds her upstairs, fake packing up all the drama. "I can't keep being attacked," she cries as she clings to him. Bret tells us he loves crazy girls, but this one may be too crazy for him. He takes her downstairs to talk so the other hos can't hear. He reminds her that every other word she says is about leaving, and then tells her that she confuses the shit out of the girls and him.
"I'm competing with seven other girls for your affection, and I don't know how you feel about me," Germy whines. Oh, put a Lysol Wipe in it, Germy. But Bret keeps playing the game. "As attracted as I am to you, maybe wrong place, wrong time," he tells her. "I'm scared I'm going to lose him because of other people," Germy says. At this point, I've heard these two say the same things so many damn times, I'm convinced they're reading off cue cards.
Put on some eyebrows. You're on TV.
Meanwhile, CESM is upset about what she said about Germy. She's distraught over betraying her roommate, and also because she's worried that she made Bret mad. Nonsense, doll. You spoke the truth when no one else would, and Bret's a stand up guy. I can guarantee he's fine with it. And as for Germy? You're better off. Butterface tells her as much.
The next day, it's time for Bret's date with USO-ish winners Farmgirl and Butterface. Farmgirl's excited to get away from the drama in the house. They hit the Ed Hardy store on the sleazy side of Melrose, and meet Adam Sachs, a "custom couture artist". In Bret's world, this is someone who takes a normal t-shirt, and slashes it up ho-style while you're wearing it.
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Comments (18)
Kristy Joe…please, poor man’s Cool Sam from ROL 1. And I just loved how Bret asks the girls to talk shit and once they begin fighting, he gets pissed and leaves. That's almost as awesome as when he pretends he picks out the date activities.
And CESM profusely apologizing and fretting about losing KJ’s friendship, I’m going to paraphrase Jade from ANTM and say, “this is Rock.Of.Love., not Friendship of Love honey.” I actually applauded Kristy Joe’s nonchalance on this one.
But big improvement over the rest of the season nonetheless. Flasher is this show's savior! Great recap CB.
1 of 18 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on March 5, 2008 1:37 PM
i hope you werent being serious about the "blow up beer can"....
2 of 18 | Posted by chrispeycreme | Posted on March 5, 2008 7:45 PM
I like Jessica, but I don't think she will win. I like CESM by default, because everyone else in the house gets on my fucking nerves so much. Daisy didn't get much camera time, which makes me think she may be winning some stuff soon.
I knew Inna was one of those butterface (uh, butterbodies?) that he kept only to cut later in the season. After watching enough of these shows, you can figure out a kind of formula as to who they will really keep, and who is only around to cut later, when shit starts going down. I think Kristy Joe or Destiny may go home soon.
In it to win it are CESM and Dasiy.
3 of 18 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on March 5, 2008 9:18 PM
Let me retract that- I think he will bring flasher back, and possibly pick her for the win.
4 of 18 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on March 5, 2008 9:24 PM
The Daisy critiques are perfect and accurate. Watching her string a sentence together is more painful than watching "Ultraviolet". While sober. Kristy Jo is not even interesting anymore. At least Cool Sam was... Cool, and had her great send-off makeout ho-ment. Destiney looks a little like Lucy Lawless to me in the face. CESMombre is delightful, as is the surprise that is Farmgirl. I think a great source of comedy would be to watch a debate about an intellectual topics between Daisy and Butterface. I don't know who'd win, other than the viewers.
5 of 18 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on March 5, 2008 10:42 PM
Am I crazy or does it look like someone pasted Joan River's face onto the smokin' body that's working the stripper pole in the last picture??
6 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:47 AM
Also, were these girls home-schooled or what? Megan has never heard of the Preamble?? In the state I live in, you have to pass a test on the Constitution just to past EIGHTH FRICKIN' GRADE!!! And Daisy has never sung the National Anthem...okay, not only has she apparently not attended school, but it seems she's never gone to a sports event either. Does the hotness really excuse the total moronitude???
7 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:54 AM
Oh crap...I meant "pass 8th grade", not "past 8th grade". Anyway...
8 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:56 AM
I don't think it is a definite that Butterface went to school past the 8th grade.
9 of 18 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on March 6, 2008 4:34 AM
I really like Ambre. She comes across as a very sincere, very independent, totally un-fake person who'd be fun to hang out with, and I liked the fact that she felt she'd disrespected Kristy Joe by not talking to her first - she understands how you should treat people. On the other hand, I cringed when she said, "I spoke my mind, and that may have cost me." In other words, I said what I thought, and now he may not like me anymore. Ambre just set women back about two-hundred years.
In saying that he took full responsibility for not spending any time with "this girl" this past week before he called Daisy down, that told me right there that Bret's already chosen Daisy. And Daisy really seems gone on him. Does she really think he's actually in this to "find love"? Does she even know about the chick waiting at home with his two kids?
I thought the same thing about Megan, Jessica, and Daisy, when they didn't know the Preamble or the National Anthem - did they not go to school? Personally, I was extremely offended by the entire thing. I'm a staunch supporter of the troops and have incredible respect for veterans, and it was such an insult for these girls to show their ignorance of the Constitution and the National Anthem to the veterans, mouth off to the USO women, and essentially make a joke out of the whole thing by slutting it up and not taking it seriously. That really bothered me.
*off soapbox now*
10 of 18 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on March 6, 2008 6:59 AM
What bothers me is that these girls really think they have nice bodies. There were so many flabby stomachs and flat asses. Only Daisy and KJ have the right to wear bikinis. But their faces w/o any make-up on, Yikes.
11 of 18 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on March 6, 2008 7:53 AM
The problem with Germy Joe is that she probably grew up in a small town where she was usually the prettiest girl in the room, and then moved to the, ahem, "real world" that is the Rock of Love skank castle, and can't handle it. I don't think it's her ex-husband-restraining-order baggage, OR any feelings for Bret that have her so flustered, I think it's suddenly being uncertain of her hotness as compared to those around her. A-NNOY-ING!
12 of 18 | Posted by deliciousminds | Posted on March 6, 2008 8:05 AM
Mandymax wrote: "Ambre just set women back about two-hundred years."
I would agree, except I would say this about any woman who agrees to be on this show. It is only a matter of degrees.
KJ needs to go. She is a one trick (and I'm being generous here) pony.
And bring back the goofy stripper.
SNL did a great send up of the show. My girlfriend LHAO, even though she's never seen ROL.
13 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 6, 2008 10:00 AM
According to the ROL section on VH1.com, Kristy Joe grew up in Newport Beach, CA. I'm an OC girl myself, and there is no shortage of plastic beauty here.
14 of 18 | Posted by mle428 | Posted on March 6, 2008 12:11 PM
poopsicle -- I have to disagree - I think Butterface has a truly rockin' bod (hence the arrogance) and looked spectacular in that custom cut tee -- awwww, no screencap?! :(
Great recap, once again.
Too bad this series pales compared with the first one.
15 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on March 6, 2008 10:49 PM
I am so glad u brought up the lack of KJ's eyebrows! It has bothered me since the first time they showed her without makeup...she's also pretty unfortunate looking without makeup. Yeah, Destiny and Ina have pretty awful bodies...it was disturbing watching their strip tease. I actually think Ambre has a nice body too though...she's just a little older I think (right?)
16 of 18 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 7, 2008 7:14 AM
Great recap! :)
Don't worry mandymax, I thought the entire USO-ish show was semi-offensive as well, how does anyone get applauded for messing up half the words to the National Anthem!?!
Although I'm rooting for either Ambre or Jessica, my guess is that Muppet (that is so great) will pull though in the end. 6 more episodes seems like a long way to go though, or is it just me?
17 of 18 | Posted by chelle | Posted on March 7, 2008 1:10 PM
What was up with this USO variety show? Bad fit. Tacky. I respect the vets and those serving.
You gotta love Brett. He's good natured and he'll roll with almost anything. No matter how tacky the dates, the girls, the house, the furnishing, he seems to just roll with it.
I love how he said he can't stand "mediocrisy" in this episode. That's a great made up word.
And my favorite thing of all. When he tells the girl...your tour has ended. I love that ...maybe a different time, different circumstances...
You know Greg Brady taught Marsha how to get rid of a date...you just say...Something Came Up.
18 of 18 | Posted by rhoda | Posted on March 9, 2008 12:08 PM