Farmgirl carries on and on and on about how exciting the whole thing is, and how she's never been on a date where the guy has gone shopping for her before. Butterface, who's a pro at prostituting herself for free clothes, makes fun of her. But they both love how their "custom couture" shirts come out. Bret decrees that they are officially "hot and Ed Hardy designed".
Back at the Ho Hotel, CESM is still upset about sabotaging Germy. It's too awkward, she tells Bisexual. So she heads upstairs to talk it out with Germy, who sits on her bed, quaintly writing a letter. Germy has no interest in hashing it out with CESM, but CESM won't leave it alone.
CESM carries on about how she wishes she could take it back, which makes me like her less. Speaking your mind and then taking it back is lamer than never saying it at all. And Germy couldn't care less. "If she feels guilty, too bad," she snips. And I'm no fan of Germy, but I'm with her. Don't draw the line in the sand and then try to erase it.
Dear Caroline, the guy I want makes out with like everyone and like I can't go home because there's a warrant out for my arrest and I don't have hair on my eyebrows and waaaah what do I do?
Back on the date on Melrose, Bret and his hos pile in the stretch Hummer and head out to lunch. I can't figure out what restaurant they go to, but it actually looks nice. Farmgirl chirps about what fun the USO-ish show was, and how you could see everyone's personality. But sneaky Butterface chimes in to tattle to Bret about SheMale's flip out on Leotard Lady. Bret was upset that "his girl Inna" was yelling at "his girl Joan". OK, first of all, I thought the ladies were Shirley and Arlene? And doesn't Bret have enough hos on his hands? He's got to add the '56ers to his roster too?
When they get back to the house, Bret tells us that he's heard everybody's story, but now he needs to be alone and think this one over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's how it's gonna go. The last hos standing will be Germy and someone else, and Germy gets the pass. As usual, the skanks tell us how nervous they are.
When Bret gets into the "Grand Hall", the first thing he tells them is that he's "emotionally and physically spent". Emotionally, yes. Physically? Did something happen in the Hummer with Farmgirl and Butterface that they didn't tell us about? I bet you Farmgirl started it. I'm telling you, it's the sweet, innocent "No one's ever shopped for me before!" ones you gotta watch out for.
Oh, and Bret's making my night in an airbrushed, flame painted cowboy hat! Yes! Finally! If only he had paired it with the matching coat, but baby steps. However long it takes to get him into full regalia of 80's stage gear - I can be patient. We have six more weeks.
Thank you.
Bret tells us that he wants no drama, but no mediocrity, and with that, the first pass goes to CESM. And I'm happy! I have really come around on this one. This ho is one genuinely nice girl. I might even have to rename her. Germy's mad in her prom dress. She doesn't trust CESM and she feels betrayed. Guess the shoe's a little tight on the other foot, huh there, Germ.
The next pass is for the ho Bret knows is there for him. Also, he likes the way she dresses and fights for him. It's Bisexual. "If I don't get a pass, I'll be devastated," says Germy. What happened to "either way, it's his choice"? This ho is so full of shit it would take her years to crap it all out.
Oh, and I forgot to mention on the wardrobe front - Bret's wearing not one, not two, but three crosses tonight. Two on his shirt, and one enormous one dangling from his neck. Clearly, he has turned to religion to help him get through this mess of a second season.
The next two passes go to Farmgirl and Butterface. No surprise, especially now that it looks like there was maybe some action in the Hummer. The next pass goes to Muppet, who he takes full responsibility for not making time for in the past couple of days. Muppet nearly breaks down with happiness, and assures Bret she'll stay and rock his world "for-ev-er".
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Comments (18)
Kristy Joe…please, poor man’s Cool Sam from ROL 1. And I just loved how Bret asks the girls to talk shit and once they begin fighting, he gets pissed and leaves. That's almost as awesome as when he pretends he picks out the date activities.
And CESM profusely apologizing and fretting about losing KJ’s friendship, I’m going to paraphrase Jade from ANTM and say, “this is Rock.Of.Love., not Friendship of Love honey.” I actually applauded Kristy Joe’s nonchalance on this one.
But big improvement over the rest of the season nonetheless. Flasher is this show's savior! Great recap CB.
1 of 18 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on March 5, 2008 1:37 PM
i hope you werent being serious about the "blow up beer can"....
2 of 18 | Posted by chrispeycreme | Posted on March 5, 2008 7:45 PM
I like Jessica, but I don't think she will win. I like CESM by default, because everyone else in the house gets on my fucking nerves so much. Daisy didn't get much camera time, which makes me think she may be winning some stuff soon.
I knew Inna was one of those butterface (uh, butterbodies?) that he kept only to cut later in the season. After watching enough of these shows, you can figure out a kind of formula as to who they will really keep, and who is only around to cut later, when shit starts going down. I think Kristy Joe or Destiny may go home soon.
In it to win it are CESM and Dasiy.
3 of 18 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on March 5, 2008 9:18 PM
Let me retract that- I think he will bring flasher back, and possibly pick her for the win.
4 of 18 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on March 5, 2008 9:24 PM
The Daisy critiques are perfect and accurate. Watching her string a sentence together is more painful than watching "Ultraviolet". While sober. Kristy Jo is not even interesting anymore. At least Cool Sam was... Cool, and had her great send-off makeout ho-ment. Destiney looks a little like Lucy Lawless to me in the face. CESMombre is delightful, as is the surprise that is Farmgirl. I think a great source of comedy would be to watch a debate about an intellectual topics between Daisy and Butterface. I don't know who'd win, other than the viewers.
5 of 18 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on March 5, 2008 10:42 PM
Am I crazy or does it look like someone pasted Joan River's face onto the smokin' body that's working the stripper pole in the last picture??
6 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:47 AM
Also, were these girls home-schooled or what? Megan has never heard of the Preamble?? In the state I live in, you have to pass a test on the Constitution just to past EIGHTH FRICKIN' GRADE!!! And Daisy has never sung the National Anthem...okay, not only has she apparently not attended school, but it seems she's never gone to a sports event either. Does the hotness really excuse the total moronitude???
7 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:54 AM
Oh crap...I meant "pass 8th grade", not "past 8th grade". Anyway...
8 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on March 6, 2008 3:56 AM
I don't think it is a definite that Butterface went to school past the 8th grade.
9 of 18 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on March 6, 2008 4:34 AM
I really like Ambre. She comes across as a very sincere, very independent, totally un-fake person who'd be fun to hang out with, and I liked the fact that she felt she'd disrespected Kristy Joe by not talking to her first - she understands how you should treat people. On the other hand, I cringed when she said, "I spoke my mind, and that may have cost me." In other words, I said what I thought, and now he may not like me anymore. Ambre just set women back about two-hundred years.
In saying that he took full responsibility for not spending any time with "this girl" this past week before he called Daisy down, that told me right there that Bret's already chosen Daisy. And Daisy really seems gone on him. Does she really think he's actually in this to "find love"? Does she even know about the chick waiting at home with his two kids?
I thought the same thing about Megan, Jessica, and Daisy, when they didn't know the Preamble or the National Anthem - did they not go to school? Personally, I was extremely offended by the entire thing. I'm a staunch supporter of the troops and have incredible respect for veterans, and it was such an insult for these girls to show their ignorance of the Constitution and the National Anthem to the veterans, mouth off to the USO women, and essentially make a joke out of the whole thing by slutting it up and not taking it seriously. That really bothered me.
*off soapbox now*
10 of 18 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on March 6, 2008 6:59 AM
What bothers me is that these girls really think they have nice bodies. There were so many flabby stomachs and flat asses. Only Daisy and KJ have the right to wear bikinis. But their faces w/o any make-up on, Yikes.
11 of 18 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on March 6, 2008 7:53 AM
The problem with Germy Joe is that she probably grew up in a small town where she was usually the prettiest girl in the room, and then moved to the, ahem, "real world" that is the Rock of Love skank castle, and can't handle it. I don't think it's her ex-husband-restraining-order baggage, OR any feelings for Bret that have her so flustered, I think it's suddenly being uncertain of her hotness as compared to those around her. A-NNOY-ING!
12 of 18 | Posted by deliciousminds | Posted on March 6, 2008 8:05 AM
Mandymax wrote: "Ambre just set women back about two-hundred years."
I would agree, except I would say this about any woman who agrees to be on this show. It is only a matter of degrees.
KJ needs to go. She is a one trick (and I'm being generous here) pony.
And bring back the goofy stripper.
SNL did a great send up of the show. My girlfriend LHAO, even though she's never seen ROL.
13 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 6, 2008 10:00 AM
According to the ROL section on VH1.com, Kristy Joe grew up in Newport Beach, CA. I'm an OC girl myself, and there is no shortage of plastic beauty here.
14 of 18 | Posted by mle428 | Posted on March 6, 2008 12:11 PM
poopsicle -- I have to disagree - I think Butterface has a truly rockin' bod (hence the arrogance) and looked spectacular in that custom cut tee -- awwww, no screencap?! :(
Great recap, once again.
Too bad this series pales compared with the first one.
15 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on March 6, 2008 10:49 PM
I am so glad u brought up the lack of KJ's eyebrows! It has bothered me since the first time they showed her without makeup...she's also pretty unfortunate looking without makeup. Yeah, Destiny and Ina have pretty awful bodies...it was disturbing watching their strip tease. I actually think Ambre has a nice body too though...she's just a little older I think (right?)
16 of 18 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 7, 2008 7:14 AM
Great recap! :)
Don't worry mandymax, I thought the entire USO-ish show was semi-offensive as well, how does anyone get applauded for messing up half the words to the National Anthem!?!
Although I'm rooting for either Ambre or Jessica, my guess is that Muppet (that is so great) will pull though in the end. 6 more episodes seems like a long way to go though, or is it just me?
17 of 18 | Posted by chelle | Posted on March 7, 2008 1:10 PM
What was up with this USO variety show? Bad fit. Tacky. I respect the vets and those serving.
You gotta love Brett. He's good natured and he'll roll with almost anything. No matter how tacky the dates, the girls, the house, the furnishing, he seems to just roll with it.
I love how he said he can't stand "mediocrisy" in this episode. That's a great made up word.
And my favorite thing of all. When he tells the girl...your tour has ended. I love that ...maybe a different time, different circumstances...
You know Greg Brady taught Marsha how to get rid of a date...you just say...Something Came Up.
18 of 18 | Posted by rhoda | Posted on March 9, 2008 12:08 PM