We wake up to learn that Boring Butch Beverly is over the Blonde-tourage. Oh really? Is she over people watching the bus? Cause no one's tuning in for her boring butch ass. She wishes Juliette Lewis Ashley had been sent home, but I think she's just jelly cause everyone knows Juliette spent the night with Bret.

And then we start the depressing portion of this episode with Sporty Ho Jenny, who tells us she's here on the Rock of Love Bus tour while her Dad just died. A week ago. And the ho is understandably kind of falling apart. But she's sticking it out because she's grateful for the opportunity. Good for you sweetheart, whatever gets you through, but can you try and be less sad about it? Maybe she should have just skipped it. The bus might very well tour again next summer. State fairs never go out of style.

Aw don't cry. I'm sure he's real proud of you right now.

So they pack up and head out and it's Whiner Mindy who finds the note attached to the front of the bus. And coincidentally, they're going to her hometown, Nashville! Oh, so that's where that annoying and grating accent hails from. Actually, everyone's kind of excited about Nashville. It's definitely time to escape the Midwest. The other news this morning is that the hos are supposed to split evenly between busses. And Juliette Lewis notices that Pierced Mute Brittanya is swapping over to the boring blue bus! Scandalous. And Rosie HoDonnell Cami ends up on the blue bus as well. Juliette Lewis seems a little sad to be losing Britt, but as far as HoDonnell goes, "she's annoying and I would never hang out with anyone who wore brown lipgloss." As always, couldn't have said it better myself.

The busses roll into Nashville to some country music, and we catch up with the hos at their new hotel, which actually looks kind of nice. I'm noticing that the less hos on tour, the nicer the rooms are getting? Is this right? It sounds right. Big John - who I'm sorry has somehow travelled more than half the distance to hot, seriously, how did this happen? Anyway, BJ comes in the room with a note and a smirk and he passes the note to Sporty Ho. How does BJ decide who gets the note for the day? Minor detail, but he does always seem to have a definite plan on who's in charge of note reading each day.

Almost there, stud!

So, Sporty Ho reads the note and it's Mudbowl III! Bret's favorite, my least. Football's boring. Bring back the makeovers. Nerdy Ho Janey isn't too excited either. She sees the cart of sneakers BJ wheels in with him and tells us whatever sporty challenge they're doing, she just wants to get it over with. Bret assures us that this year's Mudbowl will be "down and dirty" and that there's a big prize at stake. Okay, I'll just go along. I suppose I haven't really got a choice.

Penthouse Taya's been waiting for this "infamous" event. She's ready. She probably played in many muddy football games growing up in a bar on the path to Penthouse. Everyone wears tube socks, which I kind of love, and Farrah tells us she's ready to get some faces in the mud. Bret is truly delighted to be hosting the Mudbowl. It's super muddy cause they've got fire trucks there constantly spraying down the field with water. Not quite as cool as last year's weather contraption, but good for mud I guess. Bret thanks the fire department in an obvious voiceover. Everyone's got to get recognized.

Who hosed her down? NEVER show that face without the usual spackle, honey.

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Posted in Rock of Love by ChickBomb at 3:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
Last Comment: natural redhead on Mar 1, 2009 08:09 PM.