Sadly, we won't be hearing Jesse Money yell her way through her dad Eddie's "Two Tickets To Paradise" this week. She was sent home at the end of last week's show, after America decided she was the lesser of the show's two Jesses.

And this week, we learned she was not happy about this. At all.

ROID RAGE

That blur up there is Jesse Money having a very age-appropriate temper tantrum after she is kicked off the show. Apparently she also trashed her dressing room and screamed at the rest of the contestants.

At the after party, those left standing mourned the absence of their pal for about 6 seconds, and then they commenced the trash talking portion of the show.

Jesse Blaze Snider was on Crosby Loggins's case about being a boring performer. And Crosby responded by keeping his opinions to himself, because he is a gentleman.

BUT IN MY HEAD, I'M CALLING YOU A DOUCHEBAG

And then there is the feud between A'Keiba Hammer and Lucy Walsh. While hanging backstage, A'Keiba complains about judge June Ambrose's comment that she was dressed like a 40 year old woman.

THESE SHOULDER PADS MAKE ME LOOK 25, TOPS

Lucy responds to A'Keiba's complaints with, "I can see what she meant. Your outfit is a little, like, business." I think she meant to be helpful, but it clearly sounded bitchy.

AND MY OUTFIT'S A LITTLE, LIKE, CANDY WRAPPERS TAPED TO A T-SHIRT

I can't stress this enough, MTV, but this show should be 100% backstage conflicts. It's so much more interesting! Now that I've said that, again, it's time to get on with the show.

KEEPING IT CASUAL

Chester Van Der Poof lines up all of the contestants to announce who's eliminated. "We're gonna settle this thing right now," he says. By which he meant, "We're actually going to reveal the loser at the very end of the show, you know, like we did last week, after faking everyone out one by one." And then he gave his little leprechaun laugh. Heehehehe.

The first contestant to perform this round was Crosby Loggins. But CRAP, he isn't going to be singing his dad's "Danger Zone."

Sigh. We were so close. Instead, he's going to perform "I'm Alright," otherwise known as "that song from Caddyshack."

Crosby "updates" this hit song by making it sound a little more "edgy." In reality, it just sort of sounded the same, but louder.

Also in an effort to seem cool, Crosby ditched his guitar and strutted around stage.

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW? FOOL!

The judges rewarded his tougher image with pretty good scores. A 7.5 from the always irrelevant Belinda Carlisle, but a perfect 10 from June, who commented, "I simply lust after you." Ew, June. That's just weird.

THAT GOPHER JUST LOVES THIS SONG

Moving on, it's time for Jesse Snider to perform. He was in the "untouchable" seat after last week's show, and therefore guaranteed to sing this week. What song of his dad's would he sing? Duh! "We're Not Gonna Take It" of course. But as his video intro reveals, he has plans for this song. He wants to try singing it as a ballad. His dad hates the idea. His mom hates the idea. And by the look of things, I'd say the house band isn't really into it either.

I WENT TO JULIARD FOR THIS?

I SHOULD'VE TAKEN THAT MILEY CYRUS GIG

But whatever Baby wants, Baby gets. And so we find Jesse singing the Twisted Sister song while seated comfortably and dressed conservatively (read: not bare chested).

WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT! ...WELL, OK, MAYBE WE WILL TAKE IT. BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME. DO YOU HEAR ME?

But then after he gets through the first verse, Jesse grabs that acoustic guitar and smashes it on the stage. The music picks up speed and power, and suddenly we find that we're back to the regular ol' version. And of course, the clothes come off, revealing Jesse's latest unfortunate leather accessories.

Ah, Jesse you prankster! You had us all fooled.

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Posted in Rock the Cradle , Rock the Cradle by HWSucka at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: oneillmahoney on Apr 21, 2008 06:55 PM.