Testimonials

But it doesn't really matter if I knew the song, because Lucy did a fantastic job with it, and it was a great choice for her crisp, clean voice. She even played the piano, making her one of only two contestants that can actually play an instrument.

The only bad part about her performance was the audience's terrible slow-clap. In an attempt to participate, some asshole in the audience decided that the evening's slowest song would be a great choice to rhythmically clap along to. And then he got the whole audience on board, except I don't think that any two people in the crowd actually put their hands together at the exact same moment. It was just painful.

STOP IT! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!

The judges gave Lucy wonderful scores, but thanks to June's stupid 8 point score, Lucy didn't quite have enough to de-throne Crosby Loggins from the untouchable seat. And I'm ok with that.

Now we're down to the final two, Landon Brown and Chloe Lattanzi. And one of them's going home.

PSST, CHLOE, THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR HEAD.

While it's true that Chloe is cooky and her song choices are always a little off-putting, last week she earned her highest scores yet. And if any of the voters are like me, then Chloe's kind of grown on them too.

As for Landon...well, there is no good side. He's all bad. Even the show's producers know it, as demonstrated by the segment that aired earlier in the episode, in which they keep a tally of how many excuses he offers up for his pathetic performance that earned him a grand total of like 4 points. My favorite of his excuses: "I had a really full bladder."

I FORGOT TO BRUSH MY TEETH...I WORE THE WRONG SOCKS....UH...I THOUGHT TODAY WAS WEDNESDAY

Guess who gets sent home.

Survey says: Landon!

And dad Bobby looks pissed.

BOBBY BROWN, YOU'RE A RED SOCKS FAN? "WHAT? NO THIS B STANDS FOR BOBBY. THIS IS A BOBBY HAT."

At last, it's time for Chloe. This week, she misses her mom Olivia Newton John, who is busy in China, raising money for her cancer foundation. She does make time, however, to take a call from Chloe, as she's out in the middle of the Gobi Desert. Btw, I want whatever cell phone service she has, because that is some excellent coverage.

HI DARLING. MUMMY'S LOOKED ALL OVER THIS DAMN DESERT, BUT WE CAN'T FIND THE CURE FOR CANCER ANYWHERE.

MOM, I THINK I HAVE CANCER. WILL YOU COME HOME AND SEE MY SHOW?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY, CHLOE.

This week, Chloe will be singing Korn's "Freak On A Leash," but slowed down into some kind of ballad. Gee, how could this possibly go wrong?

I'M NOT GETTING UP AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

Once again, Chloe decides to roll around on the floor. But this week, she doesn't even get up the entire time. Aaaand the judges weren't into this at all. Giving her 4's and 5's. Larry, however, perhaps channeling his inner freak, awarded Chloe a 7.5.

YOU LIKE ME. YOU REALLY LIKE ME!

Too bad she'll probably get sent home next week...

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Posted in Rock the Cradle by HollywoodSucker at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: cradlewillrock on Apr 30, 2008 07:22 AM.