Wednesday means two things at the copygodd household: bath night and the elimination episode of Rock Star: Supernova. Forty-two minutes of broken dreams, shattered eardrums and swinging hatchets, courtesy of silicone knockers, some wannabe rockers and the one and only Hatchet Man. And that's just the bath!
Wanna learn how Zayra took the news of her impending doom? Then join hands and repeat after me: Mekka Lekka Hi-Mekka Hiney Ho...
Speaking of hiney hos, it's Brooke! Tonight, she says the rockers are dreaming of fame, fortune and a whole lot of groupies. Or, in Dana's case, a baby unicorn. "But," Brooke continues, "before tonight is over, another rocker is going home. And it's anyone's guess who it's going to be." Anyone's guess? What's Brooke smoking, umbrellas? Because there is no way Zayra is staying after last night's debacle. With exports like her, it's no wonder we won't let Puerto Rico become a state.
Brooke says if the bright lights, wild crowd and tattoos didn't give it away, this is Rock Star: Supernova. And here I was wondering what those opening graphics and theme song meant. Last night was another amazing night of performances, and drew the show's biggest voting numbers yet. Up an amazing 15%! Personally, I think the numbers are getting higher every week because Zayra is sucking more every week (and let's not forget Double L's campaigning, but that's just me. Guess we won't know till she's voted off, which should be happening any beer now.
And with that, it's time to reintroduce the band: Gilby Clarke, Jason Newsted and the man rumored to have the biggest hatchet in all of Hollywood, Liam Neeson. Actually, it's Tommy Lee. But seeing Liam Neeson pounding the skins with Supernova would totally rule!
For the second night in a row, Brooke does not call TheDave her "good friend." Tonight, he's just "a guy who knows a thing or two about jets and world tours." Poor TheDave. Brooke's taking his divorce pretty hard.
Before we get to the hatcheting, though, we have to sit through a recap of last night's episode. Thanks TV. There's another four minutes of my life I'll never get back.
Asked if there's anything they'd like to add about last night's show, T-Bag tells Storm she gets an A+ on her stage dive. He then asks if that was her first time. "No," she coos, "but I can make it look like it was." What, is she going to leave a spot of blood on the stage? (Ooh, cheap hymen humor.)
Next, TheDave tells Patrice it wasn't just her ovaries he was busting last night: he was busting everyone's. It's really important for them to change it up from week to week, and he just wanted to make sure she - and the rest of the rockers - understands that. Patrice says no sweatage. She's a huge fan of TheDave, having seen him with Jane's Addiction, with the Chili Peppers and with Panic Channel. Now I know she's totally blowing smoke up TheDave's rear end. Because nobody's seen him with Panic Channel. Still, TheDave seems to buy it and calls a truce.
Zayra is next on the Budweiser Hot Seat. First question: where does one get an outfit like she wore last night? (Is it any wonder TheDave is the one asking?) Zayra says she got it out of TheDave's wardrobe. Touché, Zayra, touché. No wonder it looked so familiar.
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Comments (28)
That was an awesome recap, copygodd! Lucky I don't share an office with anyone when that Storm pic came up though...
1 of 28 | Posted by Samboomba
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Posted on July 27, 2006 9:39 AM
Oh, and Zayra sucks, but I have to say that I would have cut Phil for his emo hair alone.
2 of 28 | Posted by Samboomba
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Posted on July 27, 2006 9:41 AM
Boo on Supernova. I love Phil. He reminds of Jared Leto. Though I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Whatever, anything's better than the Bjork wannabe Zayra.
3 of 28 | Posted by boringday
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Posted on July 27, 2006 9:49 AM
Here's the problem with this show. The contestants represent a younger, hipper, savvier kind of rock than do the judges, who spout Neanderthal ideas about performance, women, and sexual expression. So the contestants have to compete for a band they find hard to respect.
It's especially tough on the talented women, who are sexy and exciting--and who deeply threaten the Neanderthals. (Of course, if Supernova had anything going, they wouldn't need a gimmick like *Rockstar*.)
I'm glad the girls are fighting back--even Zayra's looking good lately (?!). And I'm pissed that voters follow the Neanderthals like sheep. B-a-a-a-a-ah.
Bottom line: This group of contestants deserves a better goal.
4 of 28 | Posted by Loo
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Posted on July 27, 2006 9:52 AM
Whatever! It was just plain wrong of Jill to be humping Gilby during her performance. Although some of the other contestants play up their sex appeal, as Spinal Tap famously said "It's a fine line between stupid and clever." It was bad judgment and she should've accepted it instead of harping on about it. She really needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. She's been on my hitlist since she butchered Violet.
As for Gilby, I think he was a bit disingenuous the way he was harping on about it, because the main problem is that he just doesn't like her (can't say as I blame him), but doesn't really want to come out and say it.
I've been reading elsewhere that apparently the band got wind that Phil had stated that he was just using the show for exposure. He did have the better performance last night. Zayra wasn't as jaw-droppingly awful as she was the previous night, but seems she's only tolerable performing less "rock" songs, so not so good for Supernova, but amusing enough to keep around a while longer I s'pose. In the end, I'd probably rather see another one of her train-wreck performances than Phil's bobblehead.
5 of 28 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on July 27, 2006 10:06 AM
I thought I was hearing things when Dana was talking about how she's trying to be a "rock chick" but now I know it's true-she did actually say "I wore a denim skirt." And that's supposed to help her cred how? So does that mean I was a rock chick in the 5th grade with my denim skirt?? Ooh, and the leg warmers too, that's a hot look! Maybe that explains her horrible eye makeup-little girls shouldn't be trying to grow up before their time. Dana, there's a difference between "rock" style and "looking like a 13-year-old hooker" style.
Any-who, while I knew Phil wouldn't make it I still thought he'd go after Zaney. Then again, he doesn't have the Jetson's wardrobe & sexual-innuendo-rapport going on with the band, so not a huge surprise.
6 of 28 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 27, 2006 10:15 AM
there are a lot of problems with this show, not the least of which is the fact that 'supernova' is anything but super: tommy lee is far better known for his private video footage (eh . . . it's big, but definitely not a foot) than for music--motley hadn't had a legitimate hit record since 1986; gilbey clark is a career sideman who played rhythm guitar on one guns'n'roses tour (replacing the AWOL izzy stradlin at the last second) and whose biggest accomplishment in the recording studio was producing mediocre whiskey a-go-go regulars l.a. guns; newsted was hired to replace the late cliff burton in metallica and was treated like a sideman and a roadie until he finally got fed up and quit 'cause he was sick of hetfield breaking down the door to his hotel room and kicking his ass in the middle of the night.
the other big problem is that dilana is so superior to everyone else in every possible capacity--look, stage presence, vocals in both rockers and ballads--that the competition seems pointless. on stage with the poseur crew, she looks like some sort of metal frau maria surrounded by a misfit von trapp family. maybe she could teach them all a puppett show with satanic goats which they can perform for the dave instead of their crappy-pap covers. i mean, christ jesus--nirvana was bad enough the first time around, but there are few more earsplitting headaches than a wimpy cover of yet another one of their overrated three-chords-and-a-lot-of-whining crap songs.
7 of 28 | Posted by jack
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Posted on July 27, 2006 10:23 AM
Loo and Jack have nailed it. Instead of "Supernova" we have "White Dwarfs."
As for "It was just plain wrong of Jill to be humping," it's sad to see you buy Gilby's shtick. Humping is part of nearly everyone's choreography on So You Think You Can Dance, hardly a racy show.
8 of 28 | Posted by Mehitabel
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Posted on July 27, 2006 11:19 AM
Fine if you disagree, but I have quite an independent mind tvm, no need to feel sad for me. I have no opinion on humping per se, but I do believe in a person's right to play their guitar without being humped against their will, especially when the humper in question is Jill. And I also believe in a person's right to express their disapproval of said humping without getting a whole lotta backtalk. Gilby was harsh, admittedly, but she brought it on herself. And I believe it's even sadder to use SYTYCD? as any kind of standard-bearer for stage performance.
As for the lameness of the band, come on people, it's a given. Being a bunch of washed-up has-beens is pretty much the only reason why any band would agree to do this show. Besides I don't think I would enjoy the show half as much if they weren't such a sad lot.
9 of 28 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on July 27, 2006 11:54 AM
I agree with you, chronic. I sat there watching Jill wondering why she couldn't just say, 'I hear you. I respect your opinion and it's you that I'm trying to impress here.' Just let it go. Is it really worth fighting about? He's one of 3 guys who's going to make the decision when she gets the boot. Just unnecessary immaturity if you ask me.
His reasons for not liking it notwithstanding. I think he's pretty much a jerk.
10 of 28 | Posted by Memememe
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:02 PM
Another great recap Copygodd. I especially like your description of Gilby and Heart onstage. I thought the exact same thing-If Anne Wilson thought she could get herself next to Gilby she might have tried the hump maneuver. On the other hand, an ice cream sandwich is much more appealing than Gilby (sorry ZooBabe).
This is getting ridiculous. Gilby came right out and said Zaney is not right for the band, and yet the Hatchet man still has not axed her ass. Then she sings a song that is NOTHING like the crap they played for all the "rockers." Seriously. WTF?
11 of 28 | Posted by msCCRN
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:09 PM
"I also believe in a person's right to express their disapproval of said humping without getting a whole lotta backtalk."
Here's where we disagree. That backtalk is called freedom of speech. Do I like Jill? No. Did I like her act? Yes. Do I think American puritanism runs deep in the rock tradition? Yes, when it comes to women's sexuality. Gilby's just Dubya with tattoos.
12 of 28 | Posted by Mehitabel
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:17 PM
Please, oh please, oh please! I *so* want to see a clipgasm of Bath Night with Copygodd... it would totally rock way harder than any of these poseurs! And I'm sure it would be a far more entertaining way to spend a Wednesday night!
13 of 28 | Posted by JayhawkAnne
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:29 PM
Mehitabel, freedom of speech has nothing to do with a contestant on a reality show knowing better than to argue with the show's judge. The government has not attempted to punish Jill or prevent any future speech from her, so that's as far as the freedom of speech goes. Like it or not, and like him or not, Gilby is judging her in a competition. Refusing to even pretend to see his point was dumb. There are plenty of women in music who use their sexuality all the time and have done quite well for themselves because of it, but if this particular decision-maker for this particular "band" doesn't want to see it, that's that.
14 of 28 | Posted by AbbyAnn
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:49 PM
One more week of Zayra singing in both the Performance Show and Elimination Show. Two more fun performances to go and maybe more!!! :) Keep your fingers crossed.
Vote for Zayra!
15 of 28 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on July 27, 2006 12:53 PM
I think a lot of Gilby's bitching about "Humpfest 06" came from the fact that he was just trying to play, and she was like a little dog that kept following him and trying to get it on with his leg (and other parts). There's nothing wrong with the sexuality of it, Gilby was probably just using it as an excuse because he found it annoying.
16 of 28 | Posted by Samboomba
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Posted on July 27, 2006 1:06 PM
AbbyAnn, I find it refreshing that people are talking back to the judges on this show. The problem with a lot of reality tv (Hell's Kitchen, The Apprentice, Idol) is that it promotes doormat behavior. The "bosses" can be rude and demeaning, but the contestants have to suck it up. This is hardly a healthy organizational model.
I thought Loo made a good point when she said that the contestants on Rockstar are having trouble respecting the judges. It's clear we all are. I think Phil did the right thing by distancing himself, though it cost him. Integrity's worth any number of sacrifices. And, seriously, can you imagine dealing with these bozos as your day job?
17 of 28 | Posted by Mehitabel
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Posted on July 27, 2006 1:48 PM
I totally agree that the talking back on the show is a plus. I think the band are admirably receptive to a bit of backtalk, but there are obviously going to be limits to what the contestants can get away with. It's crazy for anyone to expect otherwise.
If it was simply a difference of opinion that's one thing, but the fact is she did something that he didn't want done, and that legitimately pissed him off, and was completely intransigient about it. It's just rude. And dumb.
I think most of the contestants respect the judges fine, and they knew exactly what they were signing up for. Phil was an opportunist that got called out, would hardly call him a model of integrity.
18 of 28 | Posted by chronic
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Posted on July 27, 2006 2:12 PM
I made a Zayra Clipgasm:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB1kfd-4SqM
19 of 28 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on July 27, 2006 2:12 PM
Double L, the only thing I was thinking during that clip (there was certainly no 'gasm) was....MAKE IT STOP!!
20 of 28 | Posted by msCCRN
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Posted on July 27, 2006 2:30 PM
Oh, one more thing.
Note to Dana: you have a nice voice; you are totally wrong for Supernova. Wearing black eyeliner does not make you a hard rockin' chick.
21 of 28 | Posted by msCCRN
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Posted on July 27, 2006 2:32 PM
Chronic, I guess I have more sympathy for the contestants than many posters here. The judges are used to lights and cameras; the contestants are not. Imagine yourself under the same pressure.
About Dana not being right for Supernova--is Supernova right for any of these contestants? This show should be about starting a band from scratch instead of trying to "fit" with the dinosaurs.
22 of 28 | Posted by Mehitabel
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Posted on July 27, 2006 2:41 PM
I had a bf once who had this old, smelly, ragged ass pair of shorts. I kept throwing them in the trash and he kept dragging them out...
Geez SuperNOIDEA - we keep voting the Z-Freak into the bottom 3 and you guys keep dragging her out...WTF?
hb
23 of 28 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on July 27, 2006 3:18 PM
participating in this forum is, like, the best reason to watch this show. Haven't seen much of it, or the INXS, but such a fun show to recap and rag on.
I'll look forward to all the comments tomorrow, as I must depart, but wanted to say, I thought Dana showed a lot of growth, she didn't even sing that well before, and this time, she had a really nicely toned texture (unlike the short one singing from his throat--painful!)
So glad you mentioned how lame their music sounds copygodd--I was like, is it me, this is ass-backward to be recording songs that are like jam sessions with no uniqueness or vision. LIke the rolling stones at their tritest--or worse . . . I think they need someone more than someone needs them, but that's just me . . .
24 of 28 | Posted by juddfan
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Posted on July 27, 2006 3:55 PM
yay, good comments, controversy and a video request!
is this a great country or what?
25 of 28 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on July 27, 2006 10:02 PM
Holy crap Double L-they actually chose to keep her after that? I think I now have a chance at Supernova after that!
hb-love it, comparing Zaney Z to a pair of "old, smelly, ragged ass pair of shorts" that just won't stay in the garbage! You know, I think I want her to stay on, just for that delusioned-American-Idol entertainment factor. Because really, the only person who's as fun to watch is Dilana, but that's because she's can actually sing.
26 of 28 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 28, 2006 7:15 AM
You guys are confusing 'freedom of speech' (the government's not stopping her, for chrissakes) with 'being rude.'
When I heard the Zayra-Dave exchange about her outfit, I heard her say she picked it out from "your" wardrobe -- which I took to mean the show's. Not Dave's personally.. though that's possible too. I don't like that woman but I enjoy calling her "zay ruh."
27 of 28 | Posted by Memememe
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Posted on July 28, 2006 10:05 AM
Mehitabel, you rock! Marry me?
28 of 28 | Posted by TimGunnSucks
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Posted on July 28, 2006 6:04 PM