Tonight it's a special stripped down acoustic episode of Rock Star: Supernova, complete with a string quartet. It sounds interesting, until Brooke asks if we're ready for eight rock performances like we've never seen before. Yeah, because no band on MTV: Unplugged ever used strings in their performance. I'm starting to think that maybe Brooke is drinking her own Kool-Aid.
Still, that's better than drinking TheDave's Kool-Aid, because more than likely he's spiked it with Cherry Robitussin.
This week, Brooke introduces Tommy Lee as "the guy who gives bad boys a good name." Evidently, Brooke's writers get paid by the cliché. Then, both TheDave and T-Lee make a show of taking off their shirts. You know, because it's a stripped down performance. Besides, that's just how T-Grease rocks it: shirtless and shameless.
Bah...
Bah...
Boobies!
Next, it's time for some footage of the rockers' trip to Vegas last week. Storm says there was champagne and wine on ice and a giant fruit platter. She was totally stoked. Because nothing says rock like a giant platter of fruit. Except maybe a giant cheese plate.
The rockers gather on stage at The Joint in the Hard Rock Cafe, which Ryan describes as an intimate club and an arena at the same time. Kind of like a floor wax and a desert topping. Storm says she looked around and imagined it thick with people, sweating and screaming, and it solidified the point for her: Supernova is people!
Afterward, the rockers took over the penthouse suite, which even has its own bowling alley. Lots of drinky-drinks were drank, smoochie-smooches were smooched and hotel ashtrays were stolen. And that was just the hookers T-Lee ordered! Ryan said it was the kind of party you don't want to leave, but you know is going to end badly. Much as I imagine the last night at Heaven's Gate was, before the followers laced up for their final trip to Blisstonia.
The next day, everyone paid the price for their partying. But at least they were still breathing. Except for Dilana, who hasn't had to use her lungs since the late 1400s. Still, the show must go on, so that night they drug themselves out of bed and gathered for song selection. This week, Gilby will be playing on the Peter Gabriel classic, "Solsbury Hill." Dilana says she wants it, but Toby says he needs it. How much does he need it? Enough to run around the backyard naked, that's how much. Either Toby's still drunk, or he developed a bad chaffing problem in Vegas. If only Cirie were here to check it out for him.
Also up for grabs is the chance to perform an original song. Surprisingly, only two people wanted it: Ryan and Zayra. Ryan says he should get it because he was in the bottom three last week. Zayra says she's always in the bottom, baby, so she should get it. Which is probably true, if you add the words "taking it" before "in". Zayra says she didn't want to do the original song; she had to do it. And once she spotted a tiny little piece of doubt in Ryan, she decided to wait him out. Eventually, he relented and gave it to her. The original song, I mean. Later, she tells us performing her original song is a very risky thing to do, and she might be crazy, but she's also very brave. And by brave, of course, she means crazy.
Back to live action, TheDave says the censors made he and Tommy put their shirts back on, and apologizes for their indiscretion. It's just too bad he didn't apologize for this. Once again, TheDave is shocked, shocked that more people didn't fight for the chance to the original song. Jason can't believe it either. In fact, he's very underwhelmed. Gilby is disappointed in their enthusiasm as well, but totally digs the fact that Toby ran around naked for him. Which says more about Gilby than I really wanted to know.
Since Zayra has the original, TheDave tells her to go first. Her song is called "Lluvia de Mar" (translation: "Cooter Laser of Love") and she performs it totally in Spanish. The least the producers could have done was subtitle it for us, as for all we know she could be singing about how much she hates Supernova yet is strangely turned on by TheDave's NAMBLA membership.
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Comments (21)
I didn't need to see Toby Dundee's croc. Really.
I think Ryan, Toby and Patrice are B3. Storm deserves it, but millions of teenage boys who want to accept her spanking offer won't let it happen.
Patrice's head goes on the pike this week. I wouldn't mind if Toby got voted off the island, too.
1 of 21 | Posted by Wink Dinkerson
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Posted on August 16, 2006 10:27 AM
Great recap!!
No flood warnings this week? I have to admit it was difficult to process the screen caps this week because of that. But I'm happy that you are not in danger of taking an impromptu swim.
Is it just me, or did was Lukas channeling his inner "Carol Channing" last night?
2 of 21 | Posted by buckingfitch
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Posted on August 16, 2006 10:39 AM
Ooops,
"Did was"
Good thing I'm not a recapper. My grammar are bad. :)
3 of 21 | Posted by buckingfitch
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Posted on August 16, 2006 10:43 AM
Thanks for calling out that ridiculous "Fash" Old Navy ad. It sucks so hard. They even have Kristen Bell slumming it in ads that run before movie previews.I'm housesitting this week-away from my dvr- so I can't fast forward through this mess. Bring back the Old Navy dancers!
4 of 21 | Posted by unwise
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Posted on August 16, 2006 10:45 AM
copygodd, great recap and I loved the shout out to Cirie.
Ryan - He looks pained, perhaps constipated all the time, but I have really liked him the past couple of weeks.
Zayra - Must she open her mouth as wide as it can go during every single performance?
Storm - Why is it I'm just now recognizing her over the top theatrics?
Toby- Nice bits
Lukas - I'm one of the few who have liked him from the beginning. Thought he did well.
Cat's in the cradle a rock anthem, I think not.
5 of 21 | Posted by Pamsey
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Posted on August 16, 2006 11:22 AM
Could it be a double or (dare i say) TRIPLE elimination tonight?
Storm
Patrice
Lukas
I have given up on getting Tijuana-Bjork (love that cg) out...if the band wants an Organ Grinders Monkey, she's perfect.
hb
6 of 21 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on August 16, 2006 11:23 AM
Patrice needs to go. So very boring, plus the drawl of "my" to "mahy" was unbearable. But maybe that's just my Yankee ears speaking.
7 of 21 | Posted by maketomorrow
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Posted on August 16, 2006 11:23 AM
Yeah Patrice blows....if Dana was the competition's Gretchen Wilson, then Patrice is the Sheryl Crow (who truly makes me want to puncture my eardrums). I am now and will always be about the Dilana. She is awesome....tho after last night, I have been wanting to do naughty things with Toby. guh-ROOWWWWWWL.
8 of 21 | Posted by james_woods_rules
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Posted on August 16, 2006 11:42 AM
Shock and horror. I'm about to agree with the Old Ones. Dilana and Ryan were best.
But let's stop gritching about how nobody wants to play with you, Nova Boys. It's because nobody wants to play with you.
9 of 21 | Posted by Loo
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Posted on August 16, 2006 12:18 PM
Actually, buckingfitch, bad grammer is a prerequisite for recapping. Or at least the inability to proof read (yes, I'm talking to you, EdHill).
HoneyBunny, I think a triple elimination would be great than the show would be over that much sooner. Surely, SuperNova knows by now which of these singers would be best for their band. And no, copygodd, it's not Zayra.
By the way copygodd, I loved the coochifix line but was it actually a crucifix or just a cross? I ask because I don't actually watch the show (I have tender ears). But I do enjoy the recaps. Keep up the good work, you giddy schoolgirl.
10 of 21 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on August 16, 2006 12:21 PM
Lukas -
Very "ThornBirds"
I likey!!!
11 of 21 | Posted by whoadammit
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Posted on August 16, 2006 1:09 PM
Oooh, nice catch on Gilby sitting down right after Tommy said he doesn't like that! We've finally discovered what's going to drive this band apart.
12 of 21 | Posted by Tabby Lavalamp
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Posted on August 16, 2006 2:17 PM
Was it me, or did Gilby seem to be struggling on that one . . . I swear I saw his tongue in the corner or his mouth.
Well, I've enjoyed Miss Z's spunk, but I'll give her props, it was a pretty song, and the best she's sung so far, maybe she will fare a bit better than I"ve thought--but not in this band . . . I hope she makes top 3 though!
Ryan has a weird affected way that he sings slow, it's bugs me, but he does well when he screeches.
I appreciated the Cirie shout out too, Pamsey, made me long for a better show to watch . . . so bring on the triple, but I'm okay with Storm staying. I thought, considering the source material, she was aiiight.
Also, I appreciated how Patrice was moving the melody around in the harmony parts, once again, not bad, but she's dull . . .
Lukas, make it stop, I simply don't like him and I'm too tainted to judge (plus it's always time for a refill when he's on)
As to the dark lords mistress, had to stop watching, don't want to hear that song again . . . one million times in my mis-spent youth was enough!
13 of 21 | Posted by juddfan
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Posted on August 16, 2006 2:51 PM
I think Dilana is by far the best singer on the show, but did anyone notice she screwed up on the lyrics? At one point, instead of saying "silver spoon and the man in the moon," she said "silver moon and the man in the moon." I think she realized she made the mistake.
14 of 21 | Posted by helpmerhonda212
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Posted on August 16, 2006 5:01 PM
"Her song is called "Lluvia de Mar" (translation: "Cooter Laser of Love") "
this was very funny cgodd! anyone who heard Miss Z sing should know how wrong she is for this band. Am I the only one who likes Magni? I think that he's the best of the guys. jason is right to keep harping on lukas to open his throat when he sings. he'll never get through an hour or more of singing live if he keeps singing the way he does.
15 of 21 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on August 16, 2006 7:35 PM
Flower/Oompalukas make pbd wanna play schoolgirl/dirty priest.
16 of 21 | Posted by pearlblackdragon
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Posted on August 16, 2006 7:57 PM
I'm totally making my boyfriend play the schlongos tonight.
17 of 21 | Posted by BlueAspic
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Posted on August 16, 2006 9:35 PM
Hi guys, great content made me register. I'm from India and we get to see the show 8 hrs later. No chance to vote either. I hope Grandma Patrice gets the boot this time.
MAGNI's the ONE !!!
18 of 21 | Posted by Mark2GP
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Posted on August 17, 2006 12:37 AM
Zayra was surprisingly good this time. Storm was surprisingly bad.
19 of 21 | Posted by TimGunnSucks
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Posted on August 17, 2006 7:45 AM
You're right about both, TimGunnSucks. If Zayra is really serious about gracing us with her vocal talent, she should really consider doing it in Spanish.
I love how the judges slammed Storm's performance on the show, but take back the insult on the results show. She was really awful.
I think the final two will be Dilana and Lukas.
20 of 21 | Posted by helpmerhonda212
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Posted on August 17, 2006 4:01 PM
I hated Dilana's "Cats in the Cradle." The whole point of that song is the singer has to believably look like the parent of a kid, and have (and show) regret. She's wooden and her voice is like tree bark. Me no likey.
21 of 21 | Posted by Memememe
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Posted on August 19, 2006 9:38 PM