Well, this is a first. I'm writing a recap sans my favorite frosty adult beverage. It's not because I've gone on the wagon, but rather that I'm still hungover from our 4th of July party. Trust me when I say just because you can drink an entire pitcher of Mai Tais by yourself doesn't mean you should. And despite EdHill's protestations to the contrary, waking up with the inside of your mouth coated with deviled eggs and rum isn't nearly as pleasant as it sounds.
Still, we're not here to read about my drinking problems. We're here to RAWK! And who better to rock our world than the biggest rocker out there... Tommy Lee. (See, I waited almost two full paragraphs before I resorted to a cheap joke about Tommy Lee's junk. And my mom said it couldn't be done...)
More Rock Star: Supernova after the jump...
The show starts off with a mercifully quick segment catching up with last year's winner, JD Fortune. I won't bore you with the details because I hate JD. I was glad to hear he used to live in a car, however.
Brooke Burke starts off the show wearing a dress patterned after the window shade I use in my truck. Only less attractive. She says they traveled around the globe auditioning singers, and they've narrowed it down from 25,000 singers to the top 15 who'll be performing tonight. Each week, the singers pick a song, which they perform with the house band. Then, the world votes. The bottom three vote-getters have to perform again the next night, and then Supernova will cut one of them. In just three months, one of them will be picked as the lead singer for the most incredible supergroup to emerge in years: Damnocracy!
Do not look directly at the boob.
Ooops, wrong show. I mean Supernova, aka The Tommy Lee Project. That's right, this new group of ragamuffins will be led by none other than the drummer for the Nebraska Cornhuskers marching band, the former Mr. Heather Locklear and the former Mr. Pamela Anderson: Tommy Lee. On bass is Jason Newsted of Metallica and Voivod fame; guitars are handled by Gilby Clarke from some band called Guns N' Roses.
When Brooke introduces the members of Supernova, she says they've forgotten more rock and roll parties than we've ever been too. Thanks for validating my pain, Brooke. But I bet I've gone home drunk and alone from more parties than they have, so there. Also with us tonight, Brooke's friend, Dave Navarro. Interesting things about Dave: he's admitted to sleeping with dudes, but doesn't believe he's gay. And he wears the same perfume as his wife, the former Mrs. Dennis Rodman. Oh, and there's also that whole "I look like a child molester" vibe he's got going. But other than that, Dave's great. Did anyone know Dave's in a new band called The Panic Channel? Me neither. Looks like it's time to bust some A&R ballz. Finally, we meet Rolling Stone's "Producer of the Year," Butch Walker.
Our first contestant is named Storm Large. Yes, the Storm Large. She swears it's her real name, too. Just like those are her real breastesses. Storm is from Portland, Oregon. She says that people have accused her of selling her sexuality instead of her talent. But with a name like Storm Large, I'd expect her sexuality to be her talent. Storm says that "first and foremost, I am a performer. I take command of the stage and control of the show and give everybody a good time and elevate the room." Yep, sounds like a stripper to me. She sings "Pinball Wizard" and it's just aight. Dave, however, thinks she's super dope. Tommy asks why she picked that song. "Because Tommy, I am unafraid." Unafraid of what? Pete Townshend adding your picture to his collection of kiddie porn? She also tells Gilby she likes going first. That way she gets a clean mike. I bet she says the same thing about stripper poles.
"And, scene."
Ryan Star (of AI: Season One fame is up next. He's thinks that being a rock star isn't so much about the image as it is being honest. He's by no means a rock star yet, although he thinks he's halfway there. "I'm rock. I got that part down," he says. But your last name is already Star! How much more rock star can you be? He sings "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, and it's an even worse song than I remember. He's okay, but Jason busts his nuts for looking at the guitar to check his chords. That's a legitimate criticism, although I'd have gone after the fact that he picked a shit song from a shit band.
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Comments (19)
Seems like Storm Large was causing flood advisories in your county the whole night. ;-)
1 of 19 | Posted by Double L
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Posted on July 6, 2006 1:13 PM
There needs to be another word besides "pitchy." Did these guys watch a lot of AI to prepare for this?
2 of 19 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 6, 2006 1:20 PM
yeah, sorry 'bout that, but cutting the storm warnings out made the screen shots look too scrunchy.
3 of 19 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on July 6, 2006 1:21 PM
I found Dilana mesmerizing - not sure if it was terror or pleasure.
The Roxanne guy sucked.
hb
4 of 19 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on July 6, 2006 1:53 PM
Great re-cap Copygodd….and beware of those small stream floods!
I could care less that the annoying JD Fortune is doing well. Whatever happened to last season’s Mig, Jordis Unga, or Ty Taylor?
The talent on this show already blows away the singers from RockStar: INXS. Loved the reactions by the Supernova boys – much more animated and interesting than “our band INXS”. Did it seem like the producers (yeah, I’m talking to you Mr. Burnett!) were stifling the words of my boy Jason Newstead? Well, after he proposed to that annoying bitsu Zayra, it is quite understandable. Who would have thought he’d out buffoon Tommy Lee?
5 of 19 | Posted by Redhead
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Posted on July 6, 2006 2:32 PM
I really liked Magni's voice. His performance didn't bother me too much, but maybe I have a high tolerance for Icelandic quirks since my daughters make me watch "Lazy Town" with them every day - Robbie Rotten is so Vegas that he makes Magni look like Laughlin. If Magni can figure out how to work the stage Supernova style (and at this point, who knows what that is?) I think he could make it to the top three.
And then there's Dilana. My husband told me this would be the only episode of the show he would watch with me this summer, but by the time Dilana was done singing he was making his plans to see Supernova's first show if she turns out to be the winner. If she does win, she doesn't need to worry about the guys trying to sleep with her - they need to be afraid of how badly she will work them over!
6 of 19 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on July 6, 2006 2:45 PM
Good to know someone else was drinking Mai Tais on the 4th. Not very patriotic, but oh so good.
7 of 19 | Posted by antebellum
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Posted on July 6, 2006 3:36 PM
Did anyone else notice Jason looks a little like Huey Lewis?
8 of 19 | Posted by asjs5
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Posted on July 6, 2006 3:51 PM
What the heck does pitchy mean? I don't watch American Idol, so forgive my ignorance.
Great recap, Copygodd!
9 of 19 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on July 6, 2006 4:12 PM
Ok, ok, so I'm a bit biased but I need to plug Storm (and yes, her real name is actually Storm Susan Large). I've seen this chick play with her band (Storm & The Balls) in Seattle several times and she is un-fucking-believable!
Acknowledged that last night she didn't do anything incredible; I chalk it up to opening show (and opening performance) anxiety. But man-oh-man, when I've seen her live she puts on the best damn show I've ever seen. Sexy, funny, 6 feet tall and she can sing her ass off.
I'm looking forward to weeks future in hopes she'll really deliver and/or get a chance to show that, in addition to rockin' and growlin', she can sing opera for god's sake!
Apologies for getting all fansy here, just had to give her a boost.
Great recap as always, copygodd!
10 of 19 | Posted by SaWeeeet
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Posted on July 6, 2006 4:29 PM
Phil should be the first to go. Magni needs to go back to Iceland.
I'm interested in seeing how the females will handle this band. I always wonder if they have a serious shot at being the lead singer, or if Tommy and Co. are just going through the politically correct motions.
I vote for one mondo combined recap. Great job as always, Copygodd!
11 of 19 | Posted by msCCRN
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Posted on July 6, 2006 5:32 PM
You can recap both at the same time. Great one too. Supernova is much more interesting than INXS. But I'm sorry, I really liked J.D. Fortune. He is insane, and a true rock star. One or two of these people will have to loosen up before I get as interested as I was in watching whatever shit J.D. would pull every week. They all seemed staged and way too aware of their audience. Obviously, some were chosen for looks, because they don't have much else to offer. Keep it up. Ya'll are now recapping my 3 favorite shows, BBAS, Janice, and Supernova. Yeah!
12 of 19 | Posted by Ozone Dude
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Posted on July 6, 2006 7:29 PM
Great Re-cap! I prefer seperate recaps since you asked....I liked the somebody to love girl but Im sorry that song will forever be Jim Carreys Karoke love child from the move The Cable guy..I love how Brooke Burke makes normal sized people appear HUGE, she is TINY! I think Dave Navarro needs a thesaurus to come up with an alternative for "awesome" seriously you get paid the big bucks find a new word dave!
13 of 19 | Posted by j-day
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Posted on July 6, 2006 10:39 PM
Dilana was really awesome. I hope she wins. Can't stand the Roxanne guy. He really sucks.
Also, what's up with these guys being afraid to give negative criticism? Some of these people really sucked -- like that girl from Puerto Rico. She sounded like someone squeaking Windex on a window.
14 of 19 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on July 7, 2006 2:08 AM
I, too, found Dilana intriguing--then disturbing as she fondled that clitoris she has studding her lower lip whilst giving Brooke an ocular mauling...The guys might pick her just for the ongoing girl-on-girl action they're sure to get as she nibbles her way through the groupies in city after city.
15 of 19 | Posted by Bobbie
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Posted on July 7, 2006 4:14 AM
Dilana scared me.
16 of 19 | Posted by jenny10girl
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Posted on July 7, 2006 5:05 AM
Zayra was seriously awful? How could the guys give her any positive feedback on her limp performance? she couldn't even hit the high notes, and her accent is more annoying singing than speaking.
I want my recaps in two parts if possible.
17 of 19 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on July 7, 2006 5:29 AM
Dilana was the awesome. I hate Lukas already, but he will go far.
Either of them would literally eat any AI contestant.
The others seem way milquetoasty in comparison.
18 of 19 | Posted by Wink Dinkerson
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Posted on July 7, 2006 12:21 PM
I wanted to hate Lukas but I didn't. Don't work too hard copygodd, I think 1 super size recap will suffice.
19 of 19 | Posted by Pamsey
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Posted on July 7, 2006 12:37 PM