To say last night's episode of Rock Star: Supernova was a bit of a letdown is a bit of an understatement. TheDave only considered a couple contestants worthy of awesomeness, Gilby didn't tell anyone they sucked and T-Lee only dropped his mic on the table one time. At least his string of tastelessly hitting on the female contestants was kept intact.
Brooke welcomes us to what she calls "the biggest and craziest rock competition on the planet." Thirteen rockers remain, all hoping to front a brand new band and get their very own hotel room to trash. Except for Dilana, who's just looking for someplace to take a shower. Meanwhile, I'm just hoping Brooke will quit using the word "rocker" so damn much. That word's been dead to me since Constantine.
I can't help but notice that TheDave seems to be doing pretty well for a guy who just lost this. Maybe it's because he's already replaced her with this. But let's not worry about Carmen too much. I'm sure she'll land on her back. Or at the very least, her knees.
Before we get to rocking, Brooke shows us some footage of "the most intense song selection process that we've ever seen on Rock Star." Dang Brooke, hyperbole much? It started out peacefully, but very quickly turned very ugly. And I don't mean this kind of ugly. I mean pissypissymeowmeow ugly. Toby volunteers to write down the songs everyone wants, but none of the other yahoos are taking him seriously. Instead, they all start grabbing songs off the wall and claiming them for their own. Josh grabs "Come As You Are" and Ryan says by his doing that, he's going to be setting a horrible precedent. Josh says he's sick of being nice guy, so he's taking that song and walking out. Besides, setting a horrible precedent is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!!!! (Sorry.)
Meanwhile, Patrice and Jill get all up in each other's grills over who's going to sing "Helter Skelter." Considering neither of these girls top the five foot mark, I was really hoping they'd throw down; it would've been just like watching a Midget Diva Match on RAW. Jill says it doesn't matter what she sings, because she's good enough, she's smart enough, and doggone it, people like her. But she doesn't like Patrice. Or at least the way Patrice is acting. Got that, Patrice? Jill Gioia is not your bitch, BITCH!
Lukas of the Shire is worried about having to sing "Let's Spend The Night Together" because it's all "bop-bop-bop." I'm not worried, though. Once he gets those Hobbit feet a-tapping, he'll be fine. If not, it's nothing a wee hit of the pipeweed won't cure.
Zayra ends the segment asking if there's going to be punches to decide songs next week. While I'm sure she meant it rhetorically, I'm also sure she has no idea what "rhetorical" means. Regardless, I'm really hoping the producers take her suggestion.
Back in da club, Tommy says there is nothing better on the planet than a good cat fight or a nice barroom brawl. He's also glad to see the contestants taking things seriously with their song choices; they're finally starting to act like rock stars. Of course, fighting over a song is a long way from steering a boat with your thingy, but it's a start.
All hail Mistress Brooke!
To add a final bit of drama, Brooke tells us that one of tonight's songs will be performed with a member of Supernova. However, the rockers have no idea which song it will be, or which band member. Right away I'm hoping it's Gilby playing with Zayra. The sexual tension between these two is killing me.
Comments (5)
Copygodd, I am so glad you are recapping this show! Ever since "The Bachelor" ended I have missed you and all your vagina jokes. Thanks for the great laughs.
Josh still sounds like a bleating goat to me.
1 of 5 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on July 19, 2006 4:51 PM
"Once he gets those Hobbit feet a-tapping, he'll be fine. If not, it's nothing a wee hit of the pipeweed won't cure."
this is funny ! I wish he would enunciate too.
Pleasepleaseplease send Zayra home! Who is voting for her crappy singing?
2 of 5 | Posted by zoobabe![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on July 19, 2006 6:28 PM
Great recap, Copygodd! Although I think it's unfair of you to compare Lukas to hobbits. Unfair to the hobbits! They would never be caught dead in eyeshadow, multi-colored spiky hair and wee rocker clothes. No amount of pipeweed will make Lukas look anything but stupid.
I am surprised how wimpy almost everyone sang this week. All the band ever says is "bring the rock". Doesn't anybody listen to The Dave?
3 of 5 | Posted by angiemarie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on July 19, 2006 6:33 PM
Great recap...I couldn't stop laughing...I think Dilana is taking this, but I really am a Storm fan. I love the power in her voice. I can't stand Lukas and I don't know what the big fuss over him is. Especially hated that purple suit he was wearing.
4 of 5 | Posted by jenny10girl![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:06 AM
i'm glad someone appreciates the vagina jokes. lord knows mrs. copygodd sure doesn't seem to...
5 of 5 | Posted by copygodd![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on July 21, 2006 8:30 AM