Tabatha goes around the salon to talk to the staff and find out if what Vile Mikey says is true... and her first stop is SourPuss Steven! In that same prissy voice that sets my teeth on edge, Steven swiftly jabs a giant rapier into Vile Mikey's back as he tattles to Tabatha, "Your arrival here was very enlightening for all of us. A bit of time has progressed, and it could very well be that maybe some of the inspiration has waned a little bit." T-girl says "So you feel like Michael's not stepping up and following through?" SourPuss Steven breaks out into a giant egg-suck grin and gleefully says "Yes! That's why I'm so happy you're here today!"
..."No, really, Tabatha... I was on your side the entire time!"...
Lady T isn't fooled by this boob for one second as she says, "Really? Well Steven, I never thought that you would be really happy to see me!" You can tell she's just so totally over him and his giant teeth grinning at her like a death's head...
She goes about and asks several more of the staff if Michael is really spending more time in the salon, and they all agree that in the beginning he was, but as time has gone on he's spending less and less there. Tabatha goes to confront Vile Mikey and tells him that he's busted and that he's not spending nearly as much time there as he said he was. Queen Michaela is back and snaps "Uh, according to me, I am!" Tabatha's warm manner quickly freezes at the reappearance of this bitch and icily wants to know, "And what does that mean 'according to you'?" The Queen hastily departs and Vile Mikey immediately reappears and says "Uh, I mean I'll do whatever it takes. I'm not gonna fall apart." Tabatha gets him to vocalize his commitment to the salon and his staff. Which he will probably break and later justify by saying he had his fingers crossed behind his back the entire time...
Again, I am wondering if this place was able to hang on long enough to gain some additional steam from Bravo's publicity (although seeing what a pair of assholes they had working there probably didn't do much to bring in new clientele). Are there any Burbank-based Gasmii who can give us an update on whether or not De Cielo became De La Tierra y Cerrado? Even if they do, it seems as though his staff shouldn't have trouble finding work elsewhere with the skills they have (and I imagine they could throw a rock and hit a better boss than Vile Mikey).
Next week, we are introduced to a salon owner who carries a toy dog with him that he lets shit all over the place, licks clients (the owner, not the dog) and calls Tabatha a bitch! *gasp* You don't say!
What did you think of this episode? Do you hate people who get away with never having to work for a living? Are you going to start complimenting your friends on their "beautiful split-ends"? I know that I will never dust again and just tell all my sneezing friends that it's there for "texture" and "part of the decor". Until next time...
love, J-Mo :)
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Comments (10)
I loved how actually showing up on time for work everyday was a foreign concept for these two buffoons. It was like watching someone go under for the third time and not really caring.
Mikey is a moron and Steven is creepy on so many levels.
Great recap as usual and I will be looking forward to your new one this week.
1 of 10 | Posted by skies | Posted on September 2, 2008 5:47 PM
So far, in those two episodes of The Salon Takeover, I learned that, owning a hair salon/spa in CA equals to , “eating canned tuna and rice and drive a 1993 Honda Accord ”..Oh boy, how those stupid people can get a business license in the first place?! lol
LOL!J-Mo, you make me laugh..Me like it! :D
I hope they saved those bricks, looks like Mikey is going to need to put them underneath the Accord, where he is going to to live in! lol..Hey, at least is 'celestial'? lol
Kisses, J-Mo! And thanks for the recap and laughs!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 2, 2008 7:16 PM
Love your recap,J-Mo! You are a funny, funny boy -- thorough too!
Oh, and are you afraid of spiders, by chance? I believe you had at least two references to spider eggs in this recap, and I think I just got a tiny peek into your nightmares, yes?
LOL Thanks for making me laugh yet again!
3 of 10 | Posted by zbird | Posted on September 2, 2008 7:33 PM
I have a friend who sold hair from her drain on eBay for over $100.
4 of 10 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on September 2, 2008 8:45 PM
oh my beloved jmo...
can you believe tabatha didn't go apeshit when michael actually plucked her blouse? holy crap, i thought from the preview that this would be the moment tabatha was arrested for manslaughter...but no jury would convict her, would it???
what a tool...part of me wonders if he wasn't instructed to act the way he did, he was THAT BAD. but oh man. i think i want to be a tabatha bitchette even more now.
so here's my plan...we pack 2 coolers full of mount gay rum and diet coke, tequila, fresh limes, and salt shakers...load up the backseat with ridiculous staples like instyle magazine and nilla wafers...and hit the road in search of tabatha, rehearsing our bitchettes tryout number. you in??
5 of 10 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 9:50 PM
J-Mo;
I think that Tabatha should have come in the next day in a Cruella de Vil wig and outfit and kicked Vile Mikey's smarmy ass! And I am SO surprised that she didn't knee him in the nuts for touching her clothing!
I think that Mikey deserves Stephen, he just doesn't deserve to own the business. Maybe he could join in and croon "it is BALLOON" while the PopTarts toast and Stephen sits there breathing hard through his cat's ass face.
Keep up the good work and keep us laughing!
Lots O' Love
6 of 10 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:37 PM
ROFL!
I haven't seen it, so I'm taking your word for it, but Vile Mikey sounds like a real douche. Sadly, I'm betting more than a few of your readers have worked for someone like him at one point.
Another great recap!
7 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:22 AM
Tabitha is my new hero! I didn't watch Shear Genius last year but I guess it's a good thing she didn't win because she wouldn't have this show. Her comments are right on target. Some of the stuff they show in these salons is really disgusting.
8 of 10 | Posted by murphena | Posted on September 5, 2008 4:56 PM
Thanks for the awesome recap!!!! Can't believe the scene from the Sasson place, ugh!!! I'm with you J-mo, I hate when heinious people like Vile and Prune face are representing gays like us . . . yeechhh!!!
And I work in Burbank, so I'll do some research and let you know what I find . . . bwahahahahah!!!!!
9 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 5, 2008 5:42 PM
skies... Ha ha, yes, I agree that full-time daywork seems to be so hard for someone like Vile Mikey and SourPuss Steven to grasp... I bet both of them will be looking for roommates soon (beware Angelenos!)
detinha... you're welcome as always... and in two episodes I've also learned that unsuccessful salon owners fall into two categories... the Crier and the Denier... :)
zbird... actually, yes, I am pretty badly arachnophobic, spiders totally creep me out (even on TV) but I try never to kill them because I know they eat, like, six BILLION times their own weight in insects every day, and I hate insects even worse, so there we are. Oh, and you're welcome! :)
Gertrude... please tell me you're not the one who bought it. :)
mrsdaddytom... I'm so totally in. Vile Mikey is lucky he didn't pull back a bloody stump after he plucked at Tabatha's blouse (and I'm sorry, that blouse was NOT Cruella De Vil, it was, in a word, FABULOUS). BTW, we better pack Chee-tos, too... :)
arizonatom... It took me a while to understand the "It is BALLOON" reference, but now I remember that part from the opening credit sequence of "F-Troop". You lost me there for a minute. I'm also guessing that Vile Mikey and SourPuss Steven have pulled a total "Jo & Slade" and reunited since the show aired... lots of love back to ya! :)
fire@will... thank you, as always, and yes, I have worked for people this dopey before... :)
murphena... honey, you said a mouthful, and you're right on the money... and I'm glad we share a hero! :)
juddfan... sweetie, you absolutely positively MUST brave the dust and hair and find out if De Cielo is still operating... message me and I'll put your findings in a future recap, okay? Thanks, and kissy-smooches! xoxox
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:46 AM