T-girl continues, "It's funny to me, because it's so bad I can't even believe it..." Queen Michaela cuts her off with "Well I hire a cleaning guy, I mean, I got a cleaning guy, so what am I supposed to do?" He continues, "And you guys all work there, you can see that every day, you can tell me it's dirty..." Tabatha has laid her head down on a nearby table and is thumping it while saying "Ohhhh myyyyyy GAWWWWD!" This salon is revolting and Lady T wonders how they keep any clients at all...
Lady T sternly tells Vile Mikey and the entire staff that they are going to have a staff meeting the following day at 9am sharp, and Eric pipes up that Vile Mikey has problems showing up for meetings on time (he's usually at least 15 minutes late if not more, which is so annoying, I hate that shit when people pull that at my job) and Vile Mikey promises he will be there at 9am sharp. Tabatha points out "It is about him (indicates smirky Vile Mikey)... but it's also a lot about you guys... because let's face it, if he closes the door you guys are all out looking for other salons!" The staff all look like this never occurred to them... jeez, talk about airheads!
STAFF MEETING
The next day, everyone shows up on time... excect for Vile Mikey, of course (hell, even SourPuss Steven was there). This may have been fortuitous, because Tabatha now wants to know from the staff what's going on at De Cielo,,, Stylist Victor says that when he first started working there that Vile Mikey promised they were going to do marketing, but apparently that's been limited to: a). the sandwich board out front... and b). people driving by who notice there is a salon sitting there. Cute Stylist Valerie says it did actually go a little further than that at one point, because Vile Mikey went for Truly Vile when he wanted the girls to go stand on the corner and pass out brochures for the salon.... while wearing low-cut tops. Ugh, this is a rare kind of 'mo, who has actually been able to objectify women the same way a lotta straight guys do...
Tabatha interviews that it's obvious no one at De Cielo has any respect for Vile Mikey... and says that she can see why! Especially when he went up to Stylist Mona's client and said "I thought you got your hair colored!"... and she had just done it. Embarrassing, and if that had been me, Vile Mikey would have found a hot curling iron sticking out of his butthole, post-haste. Mona thinks he's full of shit, and the others all feel that it's hard to take Vile Mikey seriously when he knows absolutely nothing about hairdressing. I find it hard to take someone seriously when they have a penchant for wearing ornately embroidered shirts like that...
However, Lady T also chastises them for their behavior, because she says while she knows there are obvious problems with Michael, there has to be responsible behavior on the part of the staff, too... and zeroes in and says "Steven?... can we agree on that?" Steven purses his lips and makes his bid for the Bigger Asshole Than Vile Mikey Award as he prissily says "Um, I can agree with it when the people that gossip and the people that lie aren't here any more..."
..."and by 'people' I mean 'everybody but me'"...
...the rest of the staff give Steven narrow-eyed "Oh no you DI-ENT!" looks as he continues "...that would work well for me." Oh, Steven. Poor silly, petty, annoying, backstabbing, bitter, sour-faced Steven... you're about to have your pastylumpy ass handed to you, as Tabatha (quick as a whip) says "Are you firing yourself?" Stevie tries to play it stupid (not a stretch for him) as he says "Now, how would I do that?" Lady T goes for the kill as she says "Because Steven... I heard you on the phone... and you called me a blonde bitch!" (We flash back to Steven gossiping on the phone and calling T-girl a "bitchy blonde") Present-time Steven says "Really?" and Lady T counters with "Yes, you did."...
« TVgasm Fall Predictions: New Shows | Main | Big Brother: Look Who's Talking OH MY GOD, IT HAS FANGS »
Comments (10)
I loved how actually showing up on time for work everyday was a foreign concept for these two buffoons. It was like watching someone go under for the third time and not really caring.
Mikey is a moron and Steven is creepy on so many levels.
Great recap as usual and I will be looking forward to your new one this week.
1 of 10 | Posted by skies | Posted on September 2, 2008 5:47 PM
So far, in those two episodes of The Salon Takeover, I learned that, owning a hair salon/spa in CA equals to , “eating canned tuna and rice and drive a 1993 Honda Accord ”..Oh boy, how those stupid people can get a business license in the first place?! lol
LOL!J-Mo, you make me laugh..Me like it! :D
I hope they saved those bricks, looks like Mikey is going to need to put them underneath the Accord, where he is going to to live in! lol..Hey, at least is 'celestial'? lol
Kisses, J-Mo! And thanks for the recap and laughs!
2 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 2, 2008 7:16 PM
Love your recap,J-Mo! You are a funny, funny boy -- thorough too!
Oh, and are you afraid of spiders, by chance? I believe you had at least two references to spider eggs in this recap, and I think I just got a tiny peek into your nightmares, yes?
LOL Thanks for making me laugh yet again!
3 of 10 | Posted by zbird | Posted on September 2, 2008 7:33 PM
I have a friend who sold hair from her drain on eBay for over $100.
4 of 10 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on September 2, 2008 8:45 PM
oh my beloved jmo...
can you believe tabatha didn't go apeshit when michael actually plucked her blouse? holy crap, i thought from the preview that this would be the moment tabatha was arrested for manslaughter...but no jury would convict her, would it???
what a tool...part of me wonders if he wasn't instructed to act the way he did, he was THAT BAD. but oh man. i think i want to be a tabatha bitchette even more now.
so here's my plan...we pack 2 coolers full of mount gay rum and diet coke, tequila, fresh limes, and salt shakers...load up the backseat with ridiculous staples like instyle magazine and nilla wafers...and hit the road in search of tabatha, rehearsing our bitchettes tryout number. you in??
5 of 10 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on September 2, 2008 9:50 PM
J-Mo;
I think that Tabatha should have come in the next day in a Cruella de Vil wig and outfit and kicked Vile Mikey's smarmy ass! And I am SO surprised that she didn't knee him in the nuts for touching her clothing!
I think that Mikey deserves Stephen, he just doesn't deserve to own the business. Maybe he could join in and croon "it is BALLOON" while the PopTarts toast and Stephen sits there breathing hard through his cat's ass face.
Keep up the good work and keep us laughing!
Lots O' Love
6 of 10 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 2, 2008 10:37 PM
ROFL!
I haven't seen it, so I'm taking your word for it, but Vile Mikey sounds like a real douche. Sadly, I'm betting more than a few of your readers have worked for someone like him at one point.
Another great recap!
7 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:22 AM
Tabitha is my new hero! I didn't watch Shear Genius last year but I guess it's a good thing she didn't win because she wouldn't have this show. Her comments are right on target. Some of the stuff they show in these salons is really disgusting.
8 of 10 | Posted by murphena | Posted on September 5, 2008 4:56 PM
Thanks for the awesome recap!!!! Can't believe the scene from the Sasson place, ugh!!! I'm with you J-mo, I hate when heinious people like Vile and Prune face are representing gays like us . . . yeechhh!!!
And I work in Burbank, so I'll do some research and let you know what I find . . . bwahahahahah!!!!!
9 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 5, 2008 5:42 PM
skies... Ha ha, yes, I agree that full-time daywork seems to be so hard for someone like Vile Mikey and SourPuss Steven to grasp... I bet both of them will be looking for roommates soon (beware Angelenos!)
detinha... you're welcome as always... and in two episodes I've also learned that unsuccessful salon owners fall into two categories... the Crier and the Denier... :)
zbird... actually, yes, I am pretty badly arachnophobic, spiders totally creep me out (even on TV) but I try never to kill them because I know they eat, like, six BILLION times their own weight in insects every day, and I hate insects even worse, so there we are. Oh, and you're welcome! :)
Gertrude... please tell me you're not the one who bought it. :)
mrsdaddytom... I'm so totally in. Vile Mikey is lucky he didn't pull back a bloody stump after he plucked at Tabatha's blouse (and I'm sorry, that blouse was NOT Cruella De Vil, it was, in a word, FABULOUS). BTW, we better pack Chee-tos, too... :)
arizonatom... It took me a while to understand the "It is BALLOON" reference, but now I remember that part from the opening credit sequence of "F-Troop". You lost me there for a minute. I'm also guessing that Vile Mikey and SourPuss Steven have pulled a total "Jo & Slade" and reunited since the show aired... lots of love back to ya! :)
fire@will... thank you, as always, and yes, I have worked for people this dopey before... :)
murphena... honey, you said a mouthful, and you're right on the money... and I'm glad we share a hero! :)
juddfan... sweetie, you absolutely positively MUST brave the dust and hair and find out if De Cielo is still operating... message me and I'll put your findings in a future recap, okay? Thanks, and kissy-smooches! xoxox
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:46 AM