Tabatha has once again arranged for clients to come in with celebrity photographs... and one of them is of new "Shear Genius"-era Jaclyn Smith! Hi Jaclyn! We miss your show! Mwah! Oops, sorry, I just loves me some Jaclyn Smith... anyhow she's walking about and thoroughly intimidating the stylists as she listens to their consultations and the outlay of the plans they have... and then she comes to Martino and he has one of my least favorite "celebrities" to work from...
...this is actually one of Vicky's more intelligent facial expressions...
Posh is clearly a blonde in the picture, but for some reason Martino is talking the client into going with a fuschia coloring job. She just smiles and gives him a wry "Good luck!" as she moves on. Martino is Major!
Donnie Drama is feeling pretty minor, though, as Tabatha points out that his coloring job is uneven, the toner in his client's hair didn't go all the way through in his application. Ah, if your butthole is bleeding Donnie, you got no one to blame but yourself. Bitch.
Moving back to Martino, who is making a giant doink on the top of his client's head with her color-goop-saturated hair, he apparently called her "hon" and T-girl threatens to smack him upside the head if he calls her "hon" one more time! "I'm not your 'hon', I'm not your 'sweetie', I'm not your 'baby', I'm not your 'darling', I'm none of those!" she snaps.
..."Soooo I guess 'sugartits' is out, too?"...
Mr. Smoove can't believe Tabatha doesn't go for that kind of patronizing bullshit! "What planet is she from? 99.9% of the women that walk in this door want you to say 'There she is, look at that beautiful girl, there's my sweetheart!'... It makes them feel good, any therapist will tell you that! Maybe Tabatha needs a therapist!"
I don't know about you, Gasmii, but I personally don't like to be bullshitted by people in the service industry, whether it's hairstylists, or waiters, or retail clothing personnel (or especially bartenders). If you gush all over me or call me cutesy names, I'm going to think that you're bullshitting me to get a bigger tip, and it actually makes me feel worse, because it's so fake and transparently obvious. Does Marty Hormone seriously think all the women who come into his salon buy his smarmy line of bullshit? Ladies, puh-leeze tell me you're not sucked in by this insulting and demeaning banter! Whoops! Getting a nosebleed from that damned sneaky soapbox again...
Anyhow, Martino is pissed that Dana didn't back him up that his clients like to be called all those syrupy pet names. She points out that they don't care if he calls them by their name. He insists that it's not that they care, but their husbands don't call them that, so they like coming to the salon to hear it out of his mealy mouth, and he says that Dana knows that. She is walking away from him as he's making this point, and suddenly he stops her and commands "Look at me!" and demands that she agree with his point of view. She says "No." and walks off. Now, he's pissed, follows her and says that he's gonna talk to Tabatha about Dana not listening to him in the middle of the floor in front of clients. She tells him to shut up and relax, and he says no he won't, he's her boss, and she's his assistant. She comes back with "Not today."
Okay, so yes, he's trying to assert his authority, and she's not respecting it. It would be less dickish if he weren't picking such a stupidly asinine thing to fight about and insisting that she blindly agree with him about schmaltzing the clients, cuz I'd be telling him to piss up a rope, too.
Tabatha interviews that Martino only had one client all day, and that it took him literally all day to finish her, because several times he just left her sitting there while he went off to his office to go call his mother, complain to his staff, to go have a smoke, and basically just to bitch about Tabatha! She goes to find him and interrupts him having yet another conversation with his mother...
..."Jeez, I'll be with you in a minute Tabatha! Mama's asking about her forty grand again!"...
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Comments (10)
j-mo! 2 things:
1. i am not reading this yet because i dvr'd the episode and haven't seen it yet.
2. in case you didn't see my response to your comment on my recap, in my former life, i was mrsdaddytom. i picked a new name since i'm not the top chef recapper and i also wanted to do the audition thing anonymously in case i sucked. regardless, along with being fellow snarkettes in impossible love with each other, we are now sister-show-recappers. and i think i love you more than ever. just wanted you to know that info.
3. once i see the show, i will read your recap and comment accordingly. because i love you. tons.
xoxox!
1 of 10 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:28 PM
I grew up in Sewell, and my parents still live there- about 1/2 a mile from Martino's Salon.
Too bad Tabatha didn't stop by last year, when he still had his Lamborghini. All summer long, it would sit on the sidewalk outside the salon, with it's doors wide open, and blasting Frank Sinatra music.
It's true he's well known- he's a bit of a joke in town. He's notorious for being a drama queen, and doing whatever he can to get attention.
Apparently, every year at Christmas, he gives tours of his house so everyone can see his decorations.
2 of 10 | Posted by madpuppy | Posted on September 10, 2008 9:07 AM
Yet another excellent recap.
Besides their being so amusing, I am amazed at how informative these are (probably more so than actually watching the show!)
Thanks!
3 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:14 AM
Fantastic recap! Thank you! I just discovered this show and am enjoying it and your recap immensely!
madpuppy- thank you! I just knew there had to be someone out there in tvgasmland who knew this guy! What is the cost of a cut there? Not because I want to fly out and get licked (perhaps he is keeping his tongue to himself now?) but I am curious as how he has did 1.3 million last year running a filthy salon like that. But unlike that first owner, to his credit this guy seems to take LadyT's advice.
4 of 10 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:15 AM
J-Mo Your recaps are fabulous. I recently had to sacrafice my cable package that gets me Bravo (tears!) and you have helped fill the void! The "pay for school or pay for cable " decision is a bummer!
Muah! :)
OmigodYouGuys
5 of 10 | Posted by onigodyouguys | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:40 AM
Love this site and especially your recaps j-mo. Just wanted to let you know that during the summer, there is plenty of perfect pool weather in new Jersey; all last week, it was sunny and the temps were in the mid 80's
6 of 10 | Posted by kristykristy | Posted on September 10, 2008 12:29 PM
Dio mio, I want to smash his Roman nose!
Chis March called and he wants his shirt back! lol
Thanks for the recap, J-Mo! I couldn't watch it, but reading your recaps is even better!
7 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:22 PM
Hey Jmo,
Still haven't done my spy work, but I did find the address and it's not to far out of the way, but at a weird intersection for a drive by. The web site seemed very together so I think they're still up and running.
I can't help but wonder how much of this stuff is set up . . . . perhaps drama was laughing coz they just spent the night backing up the vacuum all over the dryer hoods.
Blow dryers from the ceiling sound cool!
Thanks for the laughs, baby!
8 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:39 PM
Great job, J-Mo! Next week looks just TOO good to miss. Animal!!
Lots O' Love
9 of 10 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:06 PM
AuJew... Welcome, welcome and thank you for the love, I can't wait to see the next recap of your G-Ram show, and I love you, too! :)
madpuppy... Oooooooh, THANK you SO much for the inside info on Martino & Co., somehow none of it goes against the stereotype, how weird is that? But you know, we LIVE for inside gossip like this, so THANK YOU! *mwah*
fire@will... thank you again, I am honored, but keep in mind, I often make shit up, so don't take everything at face value, K?
mrsc... Awww, thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying the show!...
ohmigodyouguys... Aww, thanks and I'm so sorry to hear about your cable package drama! Check online at places like surfthechannel dot c om or yidio d ot com to see if Tabatha's shows actually show up there, sometimes they do!
kristykristy... heyyy, thanks, and I know you're totally right, Jersey DOES get really warm, I forget that not everyone considers 75-degree water "too cold to swim in" like we do out here in Arizona... my bad! :)
detinha... thank you as always!
juddfan... yeah, I wonder if some of the stuff is set up, but hey, it's a reality show, so not everything is going to be real! LOL! But those ceiling-suspended blow-dryers were awesome...
arizonatom... thank you, and I will have the new episode posted soon, K?
Thanks for all your comments guys... keep 'em comin!
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 14, 2008 12:51 PM