So they're going to practice by role-playing as she pairs up the stylists, and basically teaches them to tell as many lies to clients as they can come up with... like how one whiff of Jersey Air will turn their entire head orange and make their hair fall out, or that letting sunlight touch their golden locks will cause them to spontaneously and violently combust. Yay for screwing customers!
Martino is being all Negative Nellie and says that they won't keep the high-pressure tactics up for him, he's asked them to a million billion trillion jillion skillion hillion zillion times and they won't and so he just gives up. Tabatha again has to point out that if he wants to keep his tacky house and his 8 bazillion dollar wardrobe he's going to need to be firm with them, and maybe lead by example, too. Cha! As if! All his staff is going to learn from him is how to sexually harass people.
Ah well, he promises to try, so I guess that's all T-girl can hope for. Now it's time to get his office organized... and look, he's got matted hair extensions lying around his office... Tasty!
..."Looks like L'il Kim droppings to me!"...
And speaking of droppings, Tabatha notices something on the floor behind Martino's CPU... he laughs and says "Bella left you a little surprise!"... Bella is his toy dog...
..."Looks like more L'il Kim droppings to me!"...
Tabatha is disgusted. Martino calls out for his cleaning lady to come, and T-bird puts the stop to that with a hefty "Hell no! Your dog made the mess, clean it up! It's disgusting and it's a health hazard and it's been there forever!" Martino isn't happy about having to get down on the floor and pick up a dried up, petrified piece of poo, and says "You probably planted it here anyway.." Lady T shoots back with a sarcastic "Oh, yeah, because I always walk around with dog crap in my pocket!" Giggles to Tabatha!
She reflects that Martino is an awful lot like a little boy, but that deep down she thinks he's a good guy, and now that he's cleaned up his office, she's going to transform the rest of the salon, so she calls the staff together and sends them home for a few days so she can call in a remodeling team to redo the salon, get some more stations in there and put some color on the walls (instead of just splattered hair-color). All right for free vacations! Tabatha can you send your crack team over to my office so I can have a couple of days off? Pretty please?
THE REOPENING
Martino says he did a couple of drive-bys of the salon while Team Tabatha was working on it and he couldn't see a thing, so he's really excited to see what it looks like now... Tabatha opens the door... and the bitches all go crazy!! To tell you the truth, it really doesn't look all that different, so I'm not going to bother screencapping all the before and afters, it seems more like a furniture rearrangement than anything else...
... *gasp* ..."We got some new magazines!"...
Donnie Drama Queen has his hands clasped over his mouth like Shirley Maclaine in "Steel Magnolias" when Sally Field has her breakdown and he is actually crying... Tabatha is incredulous at this and wants to know why...
...My guess is, with so many new workstations, Donnie finally got a good look in a mirror...
Martino is amazed, too, and all the staff is actually getting kinda weepy. So am I, because I'm finally realizing that I'll never be Homecoming Queen. I put all that Vaseline on my teeth for nothing. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, the new salon! Tabatha added six more workstations so everybody should have their own place now and she retooled their display of retail product (which is apparently REDKEN™ in case you missed the hundred or so close-ups of it). Yay for overt product placement!
So they have a full day ahead of them, and Lady T is giving them the pep-talk (blah blah blah, keep shit clean, don't let it be chaotic, no licking the clients or each other, etc. etc. etc.)... ah, but before he turns them loose, Martino tells all the assistants that they can't hang out in the back room any more, he doesn't want to see drinks and food wrappers anywhere within sight of clients, and he's actually setting some boundaries! Tabatha is amazed at his new pair! Impressive!
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Comments (10)
j-mo! 2 things:
1. i am not reading this yet because i dvr'd the episode and haven't seen it yet.
2. in case you didn't see my response to your comment on my recap, in my former life, i was mrsdaddytom. i picked a new name since i'm not the top chef recapper and i also wanted to do the audition thing anonymously in case i sucked. regardless, along with being fellow snarkettes in impossible love with each other, we are now sister-show-recappers. and i think i love you more than ever. just wanted you to know that info.
3. once i see the show, i will read your recap and comment accordingly. because i love you. tons.
xoxox!
1 of 10 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:28 PM
I grew up in Sewell, and my parents still live there- about 1/2 a mile from Martino's Salon.
Too bad Tabatha didn't stop by last year, when he still had his Lamborghini. All summer long, it would sit on the sidewalk outside the salon, with it's doors wide open, and blasting Frank Sinatra music.
It's true he's well known- he's a bit of a joke in town. He's notorious for being a drama queen, and doing whatever he can to get attention.
Apparently, every year at Christmas, he gives tours of his house so everyone can see his decorations.
2 of 10 | Posted by madpuppy | Posted on September 10, 2008 9:07 AM
Yet another excellent recap.
Besides their being so amusing, I am amazed at how informative these are (probably more so than actually watching the show!)
Thanks!
3 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:14 AM
Fantastic recap! Thank you! I just discovered this show and am enjoying it and your recap immensely!
madpuppy- thank you! I just knew there had to be someone out there in tvgasmland who knew this guy! What is the cost of a cut there? Not because I want to fly out and get licked (perhaps he is keeping his tongue to himself now?) but I am curious as how he has did 1.3 million last year running a filthy salon like that. But unlike that first owner, to his credit this guy seems to take LadyT's advice.
4 of 10 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:15 AM
J-Mo Your recaps are fabulous. I recently had to sacrafice my cable package that gets me Bravo (tears!) and you have helped fill the void! The "pay for school or pay for cable " decision is a bummer!
Muah! :)
OmigodYouGuys
5 of 10 | Posted by onigodyouguys | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:40 AM
Love this site and especially your recaps j-mo. Just wanted to let you know that during the summer, there is plenty of perfect pool weather in new Jersey; all last week, it was sunny and the temps were in the mid 80's
6 of 10 | Posted by kristykristy | Posted on September 10, 2008 12:29 PM
Dio mio, I want to smash his Roman nose!
Chis March called and he wants his shirt back! lol
Thanks for the recap, J-Mo! I couldn't watch it, but reading your recaps is even better!
7 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:22 PM
Hey Jmo,
Still haven't done my spy work, but I did find the address and it's not to far out of the way, but at a weird intersection for a drive by. The web site seemed very together so I think they're still up and running.
I can't help but wonder how much of this stuff is set up . . . . perhaps drama was laughing coz they just spent the night backing up the vacuum all over the dryer hoods.
Blow dryers from the ceiling sound cool!
Thanks for the laughs, baby!
8 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:39 PM
Great job, J-Mo! Next week looks just TOO good to miss. Animal!!
Lots O' Love
9 of 10 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:06 PM
AuJew... Welcome, welcome and thank you for the love, I can't wait to see the next recap of your G-Ram show, and I love you, too! :)
madpuppy... Oooooooh, THANK you SO much for the inside info on Martino & Co., somehow none of it goes against the stereotype, how weird is that? But you know, we LIVE for inside gossip like this, so THANK YOU! *mwah*
fire@will... thank you again, I am honored, but keep in mind, I often make shit up, so don't take everything at face value, K?
mrsc... Awww, thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying the show!...
ohmigodyouguys... Aww, thanks and I'm so sorry to hear about your cable package drama! Check online at places like surfthechannel dot c om or yidio d ot com to see if Tabatha's shows actually show up there, sometimes they do!
kristykristy... heyyy, thanks, and I know you're totally right, Jersey DOES get really warm, I forget that not everyone considers 75-degree water "too cold to swim in" like we do out here in Arizona... my bad! :)
detinha... thank you as always!
juddfan... yeah, I wonder if some of the stuff is set up, but hey, it's a reality show, so not everything is going to be real! LOL! But those ceiling-suspended blow-dryers were awesome...
arizonatom... thank you, and I will have the new episode posted soon, K?
Thanks for all your comments guys... keep 'em comin!
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 14, 2008 12:51 PM