There is a minor glitch as they realize they have no clean towels because their cleaning lady "didn't show up" but they get through it, and Tabatha notices that Donnie Drama has actually dropped his snippy little attitude and is being helpful and courteous...
..."I so totally did not know that I looked like this!"...
And the stylists are selling Redken™ like it's some kind of aphrodisiac for your hair! Oodles and buckets of product are going out the door! They're practically rioting to get their hands on Starfruit Jujube Pee-Lectables!
FINAL JUDGMENT
It's the end of the Reopening Day and Lady T calls the staff together to let them know that their retail sales today went up from 3%... to an incredible 16%!!! Tabatha says if they keep this pace up, Martino could be debt-free within 2 years. All thanks to Redken™! And his now fired-up and dedicated staff! ♪We... are..♪. faaa-muh-lee..♪. I gotta bunch-a bitches ♪ with me! ♪
Tabatha recommends that Dana be put in charge of all the other assistants! Yay for Dana! Watch your back, girl, some of these other bitches stopped singing Sister Sledge when they heard that...
...Oooh, girl, you are so gonna lose some MySpace and FaceBook friends over this...
Lady T also calls out Donnie Drama and reminds him that when she first got there, his "attitude ranneth over!". Donnie apologizes and Tabatha says she can't stand attitude in a salon, there's no place for it (unless, of course, you're Tabatha) but she compliments him on what a "delight" he was today. Yay for Donnie!
Last up, T-girl recommends 25-year hair-industry veteran Nancy to be the head stylist, this way Martino won't be so overwhelmed by having so many people coming at him all the time, he can delegate some stuff to Nancy. Yay for Nancy!
And with that, she makes her goodbyes and farewells and Tabatha fades into the dirty Jersey sunset...
SIX WEEKS LATER
The second Tabatha gets inside she is accosted by Martino running out and hugging her! I guess he didn't get the "no hugs" memo on Lady T, but she weathers it well. Martino is so excited to show her that she is now his wallpaper on his computer! Awww, that is so sweet! Sitting down with Marty, she wants to know if he's acting like a business manager now, and he says that the salon actually comes first now, he puts the partying and shopping sprees aside for the time being and spends almost all his time at the salon! Wow, sounds like he's taking this shit seriously! And what about retail sales?
He says they're averaging between 13% and 25% on that, and he's been able to actually put some money back into the salon, in the form of "Twin Turbo Twenty Hundred" hair-dryers... he bought eighteen of them... and they are so fucking cool...
...they are all mounted from the ceiling, and when you pull them down, they automatically turn on! That is awesome, and I want one in my bathroom! Right over the bathtub in case I ever get asked to recap a non-Bravo-show...
Tabatha is really impressed (and to tell you the truth, she looks just a tad jealous... I'd be willing to bet another blowjob that a whole slew of those showed up at Tabatha's home salon the week after they finished filming this episode).
Checking in with Dana the Head Assistant, things seem to be going well there, she's weathering all the jealousy and the employees are starting to take a lot more pride in their salon and their work. Donnie Drama says his retail sales are way higher than they were before (prolly, like, 5%) and that he's glad he dropped his attitude. They all say Martino is being much more professional boss and owner, too!
The last thought Martino has is "Tabatha left us with this morale that will never end... you know, we're just so excited in every aspect of the salon and there's nowhere for us to go but up!" Probably because you couldn't have sunk much lower, Marty!
..."For realsies?... get me some antibacterial gel... NOW!"...
And that's it! What did you think of this episode? Would you put up with some smarmy salon owner calling you "honey" and "sweetie" and "doll" and "baby" and "pickles" all the time? Have you ever known an innocent onlicker like Martino before? What is up with people in New Jersey? I only ask, because here's a glimpse of next week...
...I. Can. Not. Fucking. Wait...
love, J-Mo :)
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Comments (10)
j-mo! 2 things:
1. i am not reading this yet because i dvr'd the episode and haven't seen it yet.
2. in case you didn't see my response to your comment on my recap, in my former life, i was mrsdaddytom. i picked a new name since i'm not the top chef recapper and i also wanted to do the audition thing anonymously in case i sucked. regardless, along with being fellow snarkettes in impossible love with each other, we are now sister-show-recappers. and i think i love you more than ever. just wanted you to know that info.
3. once i see the show, i will read your recap and comment accordingly. because i love you. tons.
xoxox!
1 of 10 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:28 PM
I grew up in Sewell, and my parents still live there- about 1/2 a mile from Martino's Salon.
Too bad Tabatha didn't stop by last year, when he still had his Lamborghini. All summer long, it would sit on the sidewalk outside the salon, with it's doors wide open, and blasting Frank Sinatra music.
It's true he's well known- he's a bit of a joke in town. He's notorious for being a drama queen, and doing whatever he can to get attention.
Apparently, every year at Christmas, he gives tours of his house so everyone can see his decorations.
2 of 10 | Posted by madpuppy | Posted on September 10, 2008 9:07 AM
Yet another excellent recap.
Besides their being so amusing, I am amazed at how informative these are (probably more so than actually watching the show!)
Thanks!
3 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:14 AM
Fantastic recap! Thank you! I just discovered this show and am enjoying it and your recap immensely!
madpuppy- thank you! I just knew there had to be someone out there in tvgasmland who knew this guy! What is the cost of a cut there? Not because I want to fly out and get licked (perhaps he is keeping his tongue to himself now?) but I am curious as how he has did 1.3 million last year running a filthy salon like that. But unlike that first owner, to his credit this guy seems to take LadyT's advice.
4 of 10 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:15 AM
J-Mo Your recaps are fabulous. I recently had to sacrafice my cable package that gets me Bravo (tears!) and you have helped fill the void! The "pay for school or pay for cable " decision is a bummer!
Muah! :)
OmigodYouGuys
5 of 10 | Posted by onigodyouguys | Posted on September 10, 2008 11:40 AM
Love this site and especially your recaps j-mo. Just wanted to let you know that during the summer, there is plenty of perfect pool weather in new Jersey; all last week, it was sunny and the temps were in the mid 80's
6 of 10 | Posted by kristykristy | Posted on September 10, 2008 12:29 PM
Dio mio, I want to smash his Roman nose!
Chis March called and he wants his shirt back! lol
Thanks for the recap, J-Mo! I couldn't watch it, but reading your recaps is even better!
7 of 10 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:22 PM
Hey Jmo,
Still haven't done my spy work, but I did find the address and it's not to far out of the way, but at a weird intersection for a drive by. The web site seemed very together so I think they're still up and running.
I can't help but wonder how much of this stuff is set up . . . . perhaps drama was laughing coz they just spent the night backing up the vacuum all over the dryer hoods.
Blow dryers from the ceiling sound cool!
Thanks for the laughs, baby!
8 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 10, 2008 4:39 PM
Great job, J-Mo! Next week looks just TOO good to miss. Animal!!
Lots O' Love
9 of 10 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:06 PM
AuJew... Welcome, welcome and thank you for the love, I can't wait to see the next recap of your G-Ram show, and I love you, too! :)
madpuppy... Oooooooh, THANK you SO much for the inside info on Martino & Co., somehow none of it goes against the stereotype, how weird is that? But you know, we LIVE for inside gossip like this, so THANK YOU! *mwah*
fire@will... thank you again, I am honored, but keep in mind, I often make shit up, so don't take everything at face value, K?
mrsc... Awww, thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying the show!...
ohmigodyouguys... Aww, thanks and I'm so sorry to hear about your cable package drama! Check online at places like surfthechannel dot c om or yidio d ot com to see if Tabatha's shows actually show up there, sometimes they do!
kristykristy... heyyy, thanks, and I know you're totally right, Jersey DOES get really warm, I forget that not everyone considers 75-degree water "too cold to swim in" like we do out here in Arizona... my bad! :)
detinha... thank you as always!
juddfan... yeah, I wonder if some of the stuff is set up, but hey, it's a reality show, so not everything is going to be real! LOL! But those ceiling-suspended blow-dryers were awesome...
arizonatom... thank you, and I will have the new episode posted soon, K?
Thanks for all your comments guys... keep 'em comin!
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 14, 2008 12:51 PM