Right out the box, Josephine is made a liar, as it appears her stylists cannot sufficiently eyeball hair lengths and are actually using a metal Craftsman measuring tape to measure hair length...
...I wonder if that's Joe's personal tape measure?...Hope they washed it...
Next we see Joe complaining that they've run out of foils (for the hair coloring process) and telling MuffinTop to run next door to CVS and pick up a roll of foil and they'll just cut some. Jo-Jo doesn't know what to say about that. OMG, here's something horrifying: a stylist is painting haircoloring on a client's eyebrows and getting the coloring all over her face. Tabatha is not impressed with the way the stylist keeps hitting the client in the face with the towel as she wipes off the excess coloring. I'd be more worried about losing my vision to harsh and toxic chemicals. Josephine says obviously when she's not there, that's how they're doing things...
Which brings us to the several thousand dawllah question... how much time is Jo-Jo actually spending at Images (between CVS and Dunkin' Donuts)? She admits to Lady T that right now she's not spending much time there... because she runs another salowon! "But you're the boss!", Tabatha reminds her. "I--- that's why my husband is there!", Jo-Jo counters. "But this is your salon!", Lady T points out. "I only come when I'm needed.", sez Josephine. Shrugging, T-girl dryly says "Looks like you could be needed..." and they return to the "surveillance footage"...
It's a good thing this show isn't in 3D, because someone would lose an eye...
...you know, they sell cheap T-shirts at CVS, too...
"That's nice attire," Tabatha observes, "How do you feel about that?" Josephine's response? "That's professional fa huh!" Lady T is stone-cold shocked! "That is just half an inch away from full exposure!" Jo-Jo shrugs, "I don't know what else to say, but-" "Go home and put some clothes on!" interrupts Tabatha as La Stylista Boobiliciousness continues to jiggle just inches from the poor client's face... Josephine whines "If I send huh home, then I hyave no styaff!" T-girl ain't tryina hear dat, "You know what, if this keeps going you'll have no clients!"
More scenes of the stylists and Joe calling out insults and just generally being loud, obnoxious and stupid... in front of clients. Tabatha says that Josephine's estimate of the salon's customer service being at a level of a 6 on a 1-10 scale is way off, and that she would give it (and she's being generous) a 1.5 max. Tsssss! That's a burn! Jo-Jo disagrees, she thinks they're a lowat highah than 1.5...
Lady T inteviews "Josephine is delusional! She has a husband that can't manage... a staff that's out of control... and she's never here! How the hell does she think she's going to attract a higher class of clientelé??!?" I don't know, Tabatha. I'm wondering now how she's going to keep any of her current clientelé after they see this and hear themselves considered "not affluent" enough to be patronizing this hair salon in a strip mall. I would be offended, too. And I would run next door and drown my sorrows in some sweet, sweet glazed Dunkin' Donuts. And then run over to CVS for a big Diet Dr. Pepper.
I don't know, this lady sounds shady... when Tabatha points out how blasé she's being about all this horrible behavior in her salon, she insists it's not like that when she's there and basically seems to want Tabatha to fix everything for her...
..."And you could staaht bwy givin' me a check fuh several thousand dawllahs..."...
Lady T admits that with all the problems she's seen, she is actually feeling "overwhelmed". I'd feel a teensy bit of trepidation over having to deal with this bunch of hos, too! She demands the keys to the salon... and Josephine hands her a 56-pound keychain with 374 keys on it (which Tabatha immediately starts to detach the single salon key from cuz this bitch was too lazy to do even that much). Jo-Jo is just being too easy-going about this as she says "Here you go, an I hope you have lotsa fun, and that you can accomplish something for me..." and T-girl smartly responds "I'll definitely accomplish something!" I don't like this. It feels like a set-up, like Jo-Jo is trying to punk our Lady Tabatha...
THE TAKEOVER
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Comments (13)
J-Mo,
I was waiting for this recap and it was def worth the wait! You're the best!
You kill me! I can't stop laughing! ROFLMAO!
"wealthy neighborhood of Oyster Bay, NY. " hmmmm...Ok, then! Why do I hear dueling banjos on the background? or is it violins? LOL
1 of 13 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 17, 2008 10:13 AM
Egads, why don't they change the name of this show to "My Husband/ex-Lover Who Knows Nothing About Hair Quit His Job To Run This Business Into The Ground" ?
I do have to give kudos to this show, however, for showing the follow ups. On every makeover show (to which I'm addicted), you know that if the participants didn't have the fashion sense and/or business acumen to do things right in the first place, they're certainly not going to be able to follow through on their own after the cameras leave. Thanks for feeding my cynicism, Tabby!
2 of 13 | Posted by lagitha | Posted on September 17, 2008 1:32 PM
Ok J-Mo,
Where can I send the bill? Every time I remember that pic of Joe asking about the lampshade I burst out laughing, I even peed a little in my chair! EW!
Much love!
Val
**washing the chair!** lol
3 of 13 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 17, 2008 3:04 PM
my darling j-mo,
1. love you til the end of time. you make my life. i can only aspire to be as amazing recaps as you.
2. that pic of the 3 hags looks like it should have "double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble" as a caption. talk about three witches.
3. why in the pic of jo-jo and joe does it look like joe's tiny penis is peeking up with a big black eye? just curious. ew.
4. the comment about gordon ramsay: YES. please see this week's kitchen nightmares! let's just say it's on par with images in terms of long island grossocity.
xoxoxoxoxoxox!!!!!!
:o)
4 of 13 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 17, 2008 5:08 PM
okay
1a) i meant as good AT recaps as you
5) that nazi thing...oh my god. could not be more offended. in case you couldn't tell by my handle or anything. beyond ridic.
5 of 13 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 17, 2008 5:11 PM
J-Mo;
I spewed Diet Dr. Pepper when you came up with GGTTT Hag Stacy's name. But when Boobsy talked about her 'F'-fuckin' boobs, I actually peed a little bit. I cannot believe these bitches! And Muffie! My God, what a crew. Top it all off with Big Dumb Joe and you have it all. What a complete bunch of losers - all of them. Any stylist worth anything wouldn't want to work in such a slum. I feel bad that all Tabatha's hard work was for naught, when all she is trying to do is SAVE THEIR BUSINESS! A bunch of Assclowns. Great recap, as always!
Lots O' Love
6 of 13 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 17, 2008 6:05 PM
Okay - I sheepishly (but in a manly man kind of way)admit that I even actually watched most of this episode... but that did not diminish the unbearable awesomeness of your recap. If anything, I am reassured of how on the money your comments are... thus sparing me from having to ever watch again.
Thanks, big J!
7 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 17, 2008 6:27 PM
J-Mo, you are a hoot. The accents are perfect. You got mad phonics skillz, yo.
It was pretty obvious Josephine was in this for the free publicity. But they couldn't have possibly gained business because of this? Hair business, I mean. Who wants their hair cut by a toothless crack whore? Well, if someone is unfortunate enough to get their hair cut by one, hopefully Bravo will always be there to get it all on tape.
8 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on September 17, 2008 7:59 PM
AuJew--
"3. why in the pic of jo-jo and joe does it look like joe's tiny penis is peeking up with a big black eye? just curious. ew."
HAHAHA I think that's actually Tabatha's finger but it looks so much more hilarious now...
9 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on September 18, 2008 8:40 AM
HAHAHAHA yes it is tabatha's finger. the placement is amazing. i prefer to think of it as his teeny weenie trying to escape.
10 of 13 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 18, 2008 9:27 AM
Those were some scary hairdressers especially the neck tatted one. Looked like someone sewed her head back on. Reminded me of the lady in Beetlejuice with the slashed throat. I expected to see smoke coming out of neck tat's throat. Eww, nasty.
Our Tabby knew she was being scammed, that's why they got the no frills basic make-over. Lady T. knew that salon would become a dollar store soon.
Funny recap as usual. I wonder if these reality people ever read the recaps of the show. And does it make a difference to them knowing the viewers think they are morons?
11 of 13 | Posted by skies | Posted on September 21, 2008 8:53 PM
detinha... thank you, you're sweet! Sorry about the chair... that's why I often use an inflatable vinyl one at the computer, they clean up so easy!
lagitha... I KNOW, right? Where do they find these ball-less men who give up their jobs to sit and hang with the girls all day? I would think if you want to, you know, stay married that you'd want to have a separate life from one another during the day. My BF and I carpool a couple of days a week and just spending so much time in the car together we wind up fighting about being late, or why we can't stop for breakfast and Jack In The Box, or who downloaded the porn virus onto the computer at home... separate lives are important!
AuJew... that was too funny about the "Tabatha's finger/Joe's penis" picture, I did not even catch that when I captured it! Your recaps are just fine, you do a great job! Love back to you. And yes, I think people who sit there and compare slightly annoying situations to the Holocaust to be super-ignorant and offensive, too (and I'm not even Jewish, I'm a lapsed bitter Catholic who now worships the Holy Trinity of Janet Jackson, Cher and Madonna).
arizonatom... I love assclowns. They're funny. Especially when they have "'F'-fuckin' boobs". Love to you.
fire@will... I am happy for your manly-man-ness, you go! Also "unbearable awesomeness" is a compliment that I must say is cherished and I love you for that (in the platonic way and not the somewhat-illegal way) so thank you!
shelleyh... yo yo yo, word up t'ya mutha, I'ma keep bustin' the phonics if y'all got love for 'em, a'ight? I agree, I wish they would do a "12 weeks later" or "6 months later" on all of these salons at the end and see how many of them have either reverted to bad habits or are just plain out of business. Thanks for the lovin'!
rubinia... sharp eyes! I thought maybe I had caught something dirty, but you actually clarified it for me... good catch!
skies... I actually hope that some of these people read the things we write about them, not because I want to be mean and crush their self-esteem with biting wit and rapier-sharp satire, but because maybe it might be the wake-up call that they need to figure out "Hey.... I'm a giant douchebag!!!" and then lives might be saved.
Thanks for all the feedback, people, I'm hoping to bring the new episode in the next day, okay?
love, J-Mo :)
12 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 22, 2008 12:35 PM
Were the women who worked at that place rejected as hires for the Waffle House down the road? Wow, they were ROUGH!
13 of 13 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on September 23, 2008 10:21 AM