Tabatha says she wants the Blister Sisters here to have a mental picture of what it would look like if the salon was empty, and that it could close down because of them. How is she gonna do this?...
...hmmm, interesting approach...
She plunks down a bunch of blank "FOR RENT" signs in front of the girls (along with some tape and markers) and tells them to go put them up on the front of the salon. Both Tara and Kristin flat-out refuse to do so! But Tabatha insists, because she needs them to remember how it feels every time they get tired, or when they don't want to yell at one of their friendployees, or when they don't want to take on more clients! "Until you two go there... you're gonna be stuck!
Now Tara's the one who is starting to crack and lose her shit as she sobs "That... is not happening!" Jeez, what's with all the tears this week? There's no crying in Salon Takeover! Well, except for Krazy Kwanna... oh yeah, and Gargantuan Gap-Toothed Tracheotomy-Tat Hag Stacey from last week... anyhow, Tabatha insists they need to confront their fears and actually put the signs up...
...wow...that actually is pretty disturbing...
Tell you the truth, it sounded kinda stupid when she first hauled them out, but seeing them actually on the front of the salon is having a breakthrough effect on Tara & Kristin...
...I totally feel for them, this is how I get every time I step on a scale...
Now both girls are blubbing, and this is making Lady T uncomfortable, so she assures them that they're gonna change things so they don't have to close the salon, they take down the signs and they all go back inside. Both Tara and Kristin interview that they finally understand their need for help, and how much is at stake. Welcome to El Mundo Realidad, ladies! Tara even asks to keep one of the small "For Rent" signs as a reminder... wow, Tabbsy, you are a miracle worker! And a huge bitch! But you get shit done, so kudos to you, hon!
Now the staff is filing back in, and Tabatha is going to show them some different marketing techniques for their salon. She mentions how they close at 6:00pm because there were so few clients in the evening hours, and she wants them to be able to build up their business in order to have enough clients to extend the hours of the salon (Katie the Bitchceptionist™ doesn't look happy at the sound of this) so what is her innovative marketing technique?
"We're going to have a happy hour." This is greeted by nine kinds of hell-yeahs from the staff, cuz who doesn't love a happy hour? Who couldn't use a little happy hour? Especially in this bunch...
...considering most of them look like they're still hung over from last night's happy hour...
She hands them all a stack of fliers to pass out around the neighborhood, and they're excited to be outside and working as a team! Yay for teams! Tabatha and Tara and Kristin are going around and meeting with other local business owners to get the word out and invite them to do cross-promotional stuff so everybody's business wins. Yay for everybody winning!
Wow and it looks like Lauren "I'm Likely To Smoke A Doobie On My Lunch Break" is getting out there and really hustling this idea, they're gonna do it every Monday from 12 to 4, serving food and drinks and getting your hair and makeup done will only cost $30! This is so great!...
...I just wish she were a tad easier on the eyes... but she's got boobage, so maybe it balances out...
Heading on into a resto-bar, Tabatha suggests that the girls try and see if they can get these people to cross-promote and maybe donate some hors d'oeuvres, and the gay guy behind the bar says it sounds like a great idea! Score! And they didn't even have to promise any sexual favors! Yay for gays!
Let's hope all this pounding the pavement is worthwhile... but back at Salon Tika, Tabatha is meeting up with Daddy Ralph again, because she wants him to be there to see the kickoff of the renovations. She introduces him to his New And Improved Offspring™ and both Tara and Kristin tell their dad how excited they are to work on making the business better. Ralph looks very pleased, and then Lady T says she has "presents" for the girls... hidden behind a hair-dryer are two pair of safety goggles and gloves... and sledge hammers! Cool! Let's seem some shit go flying now!
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Comments (8)
Fabulous recap again J-Mo. You never fail to make me laugh at my computer screen in the middle of the office (it's okay, they all just think I'm insane...wait, that's not okay, hmmm, maybe I should do work).
There's something about a show where someone yells at idiots that attracts me. Then you add someone (you) making sarcastic comments about said show and it's like a confluence of hilarity.
I gotta say though, there's something in me that just wants people like this to fail. They just seem to plain stupid to be successful at anything. Of course I'm also a mean, cold, jerkass (not a doctor though).
1 of 8 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on September 25, 2008 4:41 AM
j-mo!
i love it. looove it. p.s. thanks for plugging me twice and linking to my recap!
i still wish ralphie was my daddy. esp after seeing your screengrabs. jealous of tabbs a lil in the kissyface one. and is it wrong that "I'll tell you how to fix that, Daddy Ralphie. Get a taser" was a bit of turn on for me???
as always, you have all of my love. and "OMG, what in Jeebus' name is a "Brazilian relaxer"? Is that like getting your pubes straightened? Ew." BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA LOVE IT!!!! i was thinking the exact same thing. just sounds so terribly, terribly wrong.
p.s. if lovin' your nubile jailbait ass is wrong, i don't wanna be right. although i'm younger than you. and a woman. and not a priest. meh.
p.p.s. oprah still sucks. *MWAH* hahahahahaHAAHAHAAAA
2 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 25, 2008 7:52 AM
Great recap (of course).
I ended up liking most of these people and I wanted them to be a success.
You are right to point out that hair care is a career that can't be outsourced to India! And I've worked in all those (horrible) environments you named that can be. (Thanks for the nightmares!)
I agree about so many kids growing up without a sense of where money comes from. I think they should just have the basics unless they are willing to work to earn more. No matter how much thier parents have. (But, I guess we'll always have Paris!)
3 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 25, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that screencap of Lauren puking in her mouth was hilarious! Great recap as always!
4 of 8 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on September 25, 2008 11:36 AM
Hi Darling J-Mo,
I think you should write an etiquette book in your own indominitable style.
Love your recap,
Yenta
5 of 8 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on September 25, 2008 1:38 PM
ROFLMAO @ "...hey, she does kinda look like Nicolize Theigl!..."
Thanks J-M0, you're the bestest!
**Mwah**
Val
6 of 8 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 25, 2008 8:38 PM
J-Mo;
Great job as always! I just can't believe those two skanks were so stupid and selfish before "T" showed up. Spoiled ________ (fill in favorite name here). Keep up the good work.
Lots O' Love
7 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 27, 2008 8:18 AM
DrJerkAss... awww, shucks, thank you (and hey, thanks for coming to my aid over on that other thread the other day, wasn't that weird?) you're peaches in my book! Oh, and yes, I agree with you, sometimes privileged people work my last nerve, too, especially when they don't appreciate it like the Gruesome Twosome...
AuJew... no problem, I think we should all be building each other's work up, y'know? Can I say, though, that I would not be surprised in the LEAST to find out that you might enjoy electrical shock in an erotic sense? Oprah would not approve, but fuck her.
fire@will... LOL, sorry about the work nightmares, but I've done time in all those industries as well, and often longed for some kind of talent in cosmetics that would afford me a casually fabulous lifestyle complete with drinking lattés and whizzing around town in a sporty red convertible with the top down and my long luxurious blonde hair blowing in the wind, ready to assist with any kind of hairdressing emergency that may crop up (like, say, StylistMan™!) Alas, those dreams will never come true, and hell, these Medicare D claims ain't gonna just process themselves, y'know, so I plug away at the things I can do and vent my frustrations on these poor people who have foolishly agreed to appear on a reality TV show for our collective amusement. You're quite kind as always, though...
rubinia... Honey, that was too funny, and I wish I could take credit for it as a screencap, but actually it was a still shot from BravoTV[dot]com... but that was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw it (and that's what I usually go with when I write recaps and captions) so I'm glad you enjoyed it, too!
yenta-honey... the love is mutual... maybe I will try to put out "J-Mo's Etiquette For Specific Social Situations" later on this year, although many would probably find me to be in violation of many of my own imagined rules, so I dunno how well it would go over... but you're sweet for the suggestion!
detinha... LOL, thanks... honestly, I really couldn't tell who that picture was supposed to be! Can anyone help me out with that? I feel disconnected from pop culture when I can't identify someone I feel I should know, y'know?
arizonatom... thank you for the love, you're sweet as always...
I promise I'm working on the new episode of Salon Takeover, I should hopefully have it finished by tonight or tomorrow... thanks as always for all your comments, you guys always give me such warm fuzzy love...
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 30, 2008 10:28 AM