Tabatha says the wall in the middle of the salon needs to come down and open it up, so she's gonna have the girls take the first swings at knocking it down! Damn, that would be fun! I need to find a way to get someone to let me bust some shit up with a big sledge hammer, I think it would be incredibly liberating and probably more than a little arousing. Anyhow, each of the girls takes their best girly-swing to knock a hole in the wall...
...not surprising that Tara's hole is bigger...
Now that they've released some tension, Lady T tells everybody that in a couple of days it's going to be back to business, and they need to really impress her with their skills, because if she sees anything she doesn't like, she's going to discuss it with Tara and Kristin, and "there will be changes made!" This is making Lauren nervous as she says "I think Tabatha thinks that I'm not pulling my weight (which in boobs alone is considerable) and I'm really worried that I'm gonna get fired..." Hmmm, could this be the episode she finally makes good on that threat? We'll see, my pretties, we'll see....
THE REOPENING
It's been three days, and it's time to bring Salon Tika back to life! As Daddy Ralphie, Tara & Kristin and all the staff meet Lady T outside, she ushers them into the brand new Salon Tika!!!
...Wow, "Images" up in Oyster Bay really did get the cheapo renovation, this looks fabulous!...
With the wall torn down, everything just feels much more open and airy, and the girls are going nuts over it, too!
...and it's not just the owners that are blown away...
...Alli Airhead and Lauren "I've Just Puked In My Own Mouth" love it, too!...
Daddy Ralph thinks it just looks great, and that the flow of everything will be a lot better than it was before... and of course, ever the gentleman, he is the first to give a genuine and heartfelt "Thank you." to Tabatha... along with a kiss! Awww, how sweet!
...Proof that Lady T has a heart after all... it's just a little crusty around the edges...
The girls are crying, they are so happy the wall is down so they can all feel like they're working together instead of alone. Tabatha also condensed their retail products over to one side, and put in a beverage bar with some fresh-baked cookies! And she cleaned up their office, too! Tabatha will you come and do a takeover on my house, please? I'll let you smack my boyfriend around a little... Hell, I'll let you smack me around a little, I just want to see the floor again!
Now it's time to get serious again, because in a moment they're gonna have a crapload of paid extras clients coming through the door wanting a fabulous Tika 'do. Lady T calls out Alli Airhead and Lauren "I'm Likely To Crap In My Panties" and tells them they really need to step it up and show her their best skills today. Plus she tells Katie Bitchceptionist™ she needs to really take care of every single client today.
She also tells Tara & Kristin they need to be leaders and Daddy Ralphie he needs to step back and let them be the ones in charge! Once again, at the end of the day, Tabatha will make her recommendations to T&K and hints that it may mean "unemployment" for somebody.
Looks like the local resto-bar came through with the nibbly things for the reopening, and Kristin is taking an active hand in getting the food organized, which impresses Tabatha right away. Tara is also jumping in and making sure all the stylists know to introduce themselves to the clients, find out if they want any food or beverage, see if they'll dump sugar in Tabatha's gas-tank, etc.
Everything seems to be going pretty well... except trouble has erupted over at Alli Airhead's station. Tabatha asks her if she's practiced her haircutting skills since they last met, and Alli says she watched a video and read a book... "But did you actually physically practice?" inquires TabbyKat. "No." says Alli. I would be bolting for the door if I were her client overhearing this convo... then Alli sails off into the wild blue stupid when she says "I don't need to practice..."
...if all I heard all day was the wind whistling between my ears, I'd probly be pretty serene, too...
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Comments (8)
Fabulous recap again J-Mo. You never fail to make me laugh at my computer screen in the middle of the office (it's okay, they all just think I'm insane...wait, that's not okay, hmmm, maybe I should do work).
There's something about a show where someone yells at idiots that attracts me. Then you add someone (you) making sarcastic comments about said show and it's like a confluence of hilarity.
I gotta say though, there's something in me that just wants people like this to fail. They just seem to plain stupid to be successful at anything. Of course I'm also a mean, cold, jerkass (not a doctor though).
1 of 8 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on September 25, 2008 4:41 AM
j-mo!
i love it. looove it. p.s. thanks for plugging me twice and linking to my recap!
i still wish ralphie was my daddy. esp after seeing your screengrabs. jealous of tabbs a lil in the kissyface one. and is it wrong that "I'll tell you how to fix that, Daddy Ralphie. Get a taser" was a bit of turn on for me???
as always, you have all of my love. and "OMG, what in Jeebus' name is a "Brazilian relaxer"? Is that like getting your pubes straightened? Ew." BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA LOVE IT!!!! i was thinking the exact same thing. just sounds so terribly, terribly wrong.
p.s. if lovin' your nubile jailbait ass is wrong, i don't wanna be right. although i'm younger than you. and a woman. and not a priest. meh.
p.p.s. oprah still sucks. *MWAH* hahahahahaHAAHAHAAAA
2 of 8 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 25, 2008 7:52 AM
Great recap (of course).
I ended up liking most of these people and I wanted them to be a success.
You are right to point out that hair care is a career that can't be outsourced to India! And I've worked in all those (horrible) environments you named that can be. (Thanks for the nightmares!)
I agree about so many kids growing up without a sense of where money comes from. I think they should just have the basics unless they are willing to work to earn more. No matter how much thier parents have. (But, I guess we'll always have Paris!)
3 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 25, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that screencap of Lauren puking in her mouth was hilarious! Great recap as always!
4 of 8 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on September 25, 2008 11:36 AM
Hi Darling J-Mo,
I think you should write an etiquette book in your own indominitable style.
Love your recap,
Yenta
5 of 8 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on September 25, 2008 1:38 PM
ROFLMAO @ "...hey, she does kinda look like Nicolize Theigl!..."
Thanks J-M0, you're the bestest!
**Mwah**
Val
6 of 8 | Posted by detinha | Posted on September 25, 2008 8:38 PM
J-Mo;
Great job as always! I just can't believe those two skanks were so stupid and selfish before "T" showed up. Spoiled ________ (fill in favorite name here). Keep up the good work.
Lots O' Love
7 of 8 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on September 27, 2008 8:18 AM
DrJerkAss... awww, shucks, thank you (and hey, thanks for coming to my aid over on that other thread the other day, wasn't that weird?) you're peaches in my book! Oh, and yes, I agree with you, sometimes privileged people work my last nerve, too, especially when they don't appreciate it like the Gruesome Twosome...
AuJew... no problem, I think we should all be building each other's work up, y'know? Can I say, though, that I would not be surprised in the LEAST to find out that you might enjoy electrical shock in an erotic sense? Oprah would not approve, but fuck her.
fire@will... LOL, sorry about the work nightmares, but I've done time in all those industries as well, and often longed for some kind of talent in cosmetics that would afford me a casually fabulous lifestyle complete with drinking lattés and whizzing around town in a sporty red convertible with the top down and my long luxurious blonde hair blowing in the wind, ready to assist with any kind of hairdressing emergency that may crop up (like, say, StylistMan™!) Alas, those dreams will never come true, and hell, these Medicare D claims ain't gonna just process themselves, y'know, so I plug away at the things I can do and vent my frustrations on these poor people who have foolishly agreed to appear on a reality TV show for our collective amusement. You're quite kind as always, though...
rubinia... Honey, that was too funny, and I wish I could take credit for it as a screencap, but actually it was a still shot from BravoTV[dot]com... but that was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw it (and that's what I usually go with when I write recaps and captions) so I'm glad you enjoyed it, too!
yenta-honey... the love is mutual... maybe I will try to put out "J-Mo's Etiquette For Specific Social Situations" later on this year, although many would probably find me to be in violation of many of my own imagined rules, so I dunno how well it would go over... but you're sweet for the suggestion!
detinha... LOL, thanks... honestly, I really couldn't tell who that picture was supposed to be! Can anyone help me out with that? I feel disconnected from pop culture when I can't identify someone I feel I should know, y'know?
arizonatom... thank you for the love, you're sweet as always...
I promise I'm working on the new episode of Salon Takeover, I should hopefully have it finished by tonight or tomorrow... thanks as always for all your comments, you guys always give me such warm fuzzy love...
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 30, 2008 10:28 AM