Tim shows them to his styling chair, which is in an alcove separated by a big wall. He used to be up front by the reception desk but it was "too loud and crazy" up there. No wonder he has no clue what's going on here! Tabatha says her chair is up front at her salon, because she wants to be able to see everything that's going on (and while I love her and everything, I imagine she's a bit of an anal-retentive micro-manager... it would be intriguing to interview some of her employees, but they'd probably lie in fear of their lives).
T-girl is sitting down with Kathy and Tim to discuss their business arrangement further, and Kathy drops another bomb. Tim owns 51% of the business, while she only has 49%! Naturally Tabatha wants to know why Tim is the controlling partner over Kathy. "It's on paper.... there's no 'controlling partner'." he insists. "So why don't you change it on paper?" she demands. I have to agree, this is just a bullshit deal all around... if it's on paper, it can be enforced as a legal tool in court.
And speaking of tools, Lady T wants to know if Timbo had any kind of structured business plan to pay Kathy back for her insanely generous financial contribution to "his" business.... I'm curious about this, too...
..."Well, he gave me a really big I.O.U. with this many zeroes on it!"...
Timbo says that because they're just breaking even, he hasn't been able to pay Kathy back at all. In 2 years. T-girl points out that Kathy isn't even being paid enough to live on since she's having to dip into her savings. "What would you suggest?", says a wide-eyed Tim. "Well, if you paid commission on $8000.00 a month, that's four grand a month in the salon's pocket right there!"
Tim is horrified at this suggestion, and interviews "Everybody's making it out to seem like my poor little Aunt Kathy's pushing a shopping cart or something, you know? It's like, come on, no, she's not pushing a shopping cart!" Yeah, Tim, she's not, because there no point in her even getting a shopping cart... because she can't afford to put anything in it! Giant Tool.
TabbyKat wants to know if Tim adjusts his salary at all if there is a bad month where they come up short, and maybe takes home less money. Absolutely not! He's got his expenses, so no dice. Don't tell me that he's not using that "on-paper controlling partner" bullshit in his head as a justification for this... bitch, please! At least he could give Kathy a C-note for her shopping cart... Ugh, let's leave this dipshit behind for a bit and move on to the...
STAFF MEETING
In wanting to find out from the stylists what they think is the problem, all hell breaks loose as they all begin yammering over one another in loud annoying voices. Tabatha looks like she's been thrust into the role of Kindergarten Teacher... "One at a time... it does my head in!" I'm not surprised...
..."And then I go, 'whatever!' and then she goes 'nuh-UH!' and then I go "Yah-HUH!" and then she goes..."...
It looks like Miss Blue Eye Shadow from the day before has gone home and cleaned that crap off, she looks a zillion times better, and she says they just need a reminder of what appropriate professional behavior is from time to time. "What's Tim doing?" Tabatha wants to know. The stylists all say he pretty much just stays in his corner doing hair. They don't see him as a manager, but as a co-worker on their same level. He's not at all involved in the day-to-day operations, that is all dumped on Kathy to handle (for which she gets the added privilege of making a quarter of the amount of money that he does!) and the staff all feel she does a great job of it, but that she's "got a lot on her plate".
Well, the stylists are about to find out what that's like because it's time for...
THE ASSESSMENT
Tabatha's bringing in more frightened people to have their hair hacked at by these complete strangers. Timbo, of course, is a very confident stylist and gives a really good consultation to a brunette who's considering going completely blonde (pointing out that if she's really a "low maintenance" kind of girl, those eventual dark roots are gonna be a problem... good point, I wish more people thought about that).
« The Hills: Hush Little Holly, Don't Say A Word | Main | Project Runway: Spare Some Change? »
Comments (9)
Dahling J-Mo,
How sad that next week is the finale : (
I really don't understand how these "salons" get regular customers. I know I'm high maintenance, but I would have walked out of most of them before the stylists got anywhere near my hair. And, seriously, I'd probably go completely nuts on any stylist that tried to get my hubby to kiss her. Watching Tabitha whip these pathetic people into shape has been amazingly cathartic, and reading your recaps has been amazingly fun.
I'd love to do an undercover to her salon, just to see if it lives up to her standards. Of course, my own stylist would probably strangle me, jealous bitch that he is.
As always, awesome, awesome recap.
Hugs,
Yenta
1 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:16 PM
I've only watched this show once and that was because I read J-Mo's f#cking funny as hell recap. (It was the one where the douche named Michael denied everything that was wrong with his salon) That being said I am dvring this episode ASAP!!!! I was hysterically laughing my ass off the whole way through. I have to see this. I've never heard anyone besides my brothers use the term "pussy punch". My mouth dropped open when I read that and then howled with laughter. And I am here to tell you that shit hurts. Guard you labias, ladies, when the "Witherspoon" boys are fighting!!!! Kudos & kisses, J-Mo!!!!!!!!
2 of 9 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on October 9, 2008 9:15 PM
Great recap (of course).
I had similar feelings about the real estate business story - I wondered how long ago did they film this, anyway??
Hopefully, she sold her house for enough to buy the better half of Tulsa. Still, I wonder if Tim is just doing more of the same - and if his aunt will ever get her money back.
I'm betting she'll be dealing with a more honest group of people in Oklahoma.
3 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 10, 2008 11:24 AM
J-Mo;
Thanks so much for the great recap, as always. I actually missed the first couple of minutes of this one and I didn't know until reading this that $8K-a-month-Tim was the NEPHEW of $2K-a-month-Kathy! That makes him all that much more of an asshole. I thought that it was priceless when Tabby-Kat was calling him out on taking so much salary that all he could say was that he had expenses at home he had to cover. I wonder if that includes two cars for himself, champagne parties (but not for his staff) and horribly tacky furniture and decor like Martino went for. What a putz - what a pair of putzes without a pair.
And who decides to have their own business, but doesn't want to be in charge and treat it like a business and be successful? If anything, you'd think that any business owner would fall to the side of too much control, rather than too little. At least Kwanna @ TEN Salon took an (over)active role in trying to manage the salon and have people do their jobs correctly (according to the foot-thick rule books). Geez, these two together can't even beat out the (formerly) laid-back Tami from The Loft on Broadway in Long Beach.
It makes me wonder how these places (as well as some of the restaurants that Gordon Ramsey turns around) stay open as long as they have.
Anyway - keep up the great work! You always have me in stitches when I read your recaps! You are just too twisted for color television ... and I LURVE that! Big HUG!
Lots O' Love
4 of 9 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 12, 2008 9:59 AM
Karen Carpenter! That's it! I couldn't think of who Twitchy Julie Ann looked like. Thank you J-Mo. It was driving me nuts. I knew it was somebody from the seventies and it was just on the tip of my tongue. All I could come up with was "hungover," "coke whore," and "bar hag."
This season went by so fast. Like Gordon Ramsay, Tabatha should always be on tv. I'll miss this show and your recaps, J-Mo. Hopefully after Top Design is over you'll get another show?
5 of 9 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 13, 2008 7:33 AM
Sorry Jmo, didn't get a chance to comment last week. Karen Carpenter, so tragic, so sad, such a guilty musical pleasure!!!
That said, I smell douche coming from the direction of loving nephew . . . ugh and ARGH!!! She should have an insurance policy on him, then kill him, I'm just saying. I can't see any way or reason they would have him 2% ahead, except for him being a class A douche, and not even spring rain scent, more like the vinegar!!!! Sour, bitter vinegar!!!
And BTW, I absolutely cant wait, bated breath, for your top design recap!!!! I wasn't sure I could believe my eyes and ears on that one!!!
Till then . . . mwah!
6 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 13, 2008 1:35 PM
my darling j-mo,
i have been horribly reticent lately, but i have an excuse: lack of internet access!!! i moved to a new apartment that literally overlooks the ocean, but i haven't gotten cable/internet up and running yet. and superbusy time at work so...finally got a moment to read your brilliant recap!!!
you kill me, though. i have to say when i was reading the description of mazi, i was concerned about my own tendency to flirt with fabulous gay men...but purely in an ironic way, of course. and i only sexually harass those who are open to it.
much love! xoxox
7 of 9 | Posted by aujew | Posted on October 14, 2008 12:30 PM
Omggg as a fellow SFV-ian all I have to say is this salon is within walking distance of my work and that I don't know how such a tacky place is even on Ventura Blvd. Too bad I missed Tabatha :( it would of been nice to tell her that at least 3/4 of America would support her if she brought a tazer gun on shoot and started zapping these crazy hairdresser nuts.
8 of 9 | Posted by Pinkberries | Posted on October 15, 2008 10:20 PM
Yentapatrol... you are too kind (in fact, you're every kind) of sweetness and light for saying such nice things as you do. Yes, it will be sad that it has to come to an end, but I bet the show gets picked up for renewal, cuz with the economy swirling down the toilet, I bet there are going to be a LOT more troubled salons to choose from now... love to you...
ReeseWitherspoon... thanks for the sweet compliments! And I want you to know that I have never ever ever puss-punched anyone in my entire life... but I imagine if it hurts half as bad as getting kicked in the balls... anyhow, I'm so happy to bring you some happy, too! Love to you...
fire@will... thank you as always, and yeah, that whole real-estate thing seemed fishy and I'm thinking now that that dickbag nephew of hers forced her out and refuses to pay her back... love to you, though...
arizonatom... gosh you're sweet... be careful laying on the niceties too thick, I'm likely to tumble into bed with you... love to you...
shelleyh... I just love the phrase "coke whore" because it's versatile... it could refer to hard narcotic usage or someone who has sex for soft drinks (hey, if you were really super duper thirsty)... I don't know what I'll be doing after Top Design... I might take the holidays off, cuz there's a show I have my eye on that starts in January... love to you...
juddfan... chile, I ain't ashamed to admit that I loves me some Karen Carpenter... very few voices in the world have ever come close to hers, and between her and Selena, I have plenty of tragic divas to pine over... and if Timbo doesn't get his priorities straight, he's gonna wind up with a closed salon... and it would serve him right, too! Love to you...
AuJew... girl, I wondered where you been and who's been doin' thangs to you! I'm needing more doses of Gordon Ramsey, and soon! And don't feel bad about hitting on gay guys, it happens all the time, the thing I DISlike is Mazi's "artless" way of going about it, someone who is that tacky and obvious just makes you feel all squicky inside, and I don't like that at all. Love to you...
Pinkberries... Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Pleeeeeeze you MUST go at least check it out and see if Mazi-Rotty is working there still and let us know, pleeeeease? With sugar on top? Love to you...
Thank you everybody for your genuine and heartfelt comments. I am also sad this show is ending soon BUT you're going to have to wait until next week for the recap of the finale as I am off to Los Angeles today to hang out with my BFF (and another recapper) and have a drink or twelve... see you next week!
love, J-Mo :)
9 of 9 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 17, 2008 9:34 AM